POWERevolution

According to UN Women, 22.9% of cabinet minister positions are held by women worldwide, and twenty-seven countries (out of 195) have a woman serving as head of state. The top twenty corporations in the world are all run by men, and of the twenty countries with the highest GDPs in the world, three are run by women. And that’s not a compliment to men, seeing as corporations and thriving GDPs are either directly or indirectly responsible for wars, climate change and elections being rigged. 

Men are definitely running the world…into the ground. 

Are men more deserving of power? Better at earning it? Or is it just given to them because no one else has such a potent need for it? No one else is so insecure and individualistic that they base their worth on it?

The Rojava Cantons or Democratic Autonomous Administration of North and East Syria (DAANES) are three self-governing regions in northern Syria that are run by co-presidents - one female, one male. That alone is revolutionary. While only acknowledging two genders, it’s at least acknowledging there’s more than one. In 2014, the DAANES adopted a constitution that states:

Article 28, “Men and women are equal in the eyes of the law.”  

Article 39: “Natural resources, located both above and below ground, are the public wealth of society.” 

Article 87: “All governing bodies, institutions and committees shall be made up of at least forty percent of either sex.” 

Article 90: “The charter guarantees the protection of the environment and regards the sustainable development of natural ecosystems as a moral and sacred national duty.” 

Article 91: “Education within the Autonomous Regions rejects prior education policies based on racist and chauvinistic principles."

We keep voting to try and fix a system that isn’t broken - it’s functioning exactly as the men who built it intended. If we truly want things to change, we have to start fresh. A new, updated, inclusive Constitution would be a great place to start. Check out the full charter at the link here. 

In high school, one of my classmates used to come to school on any given day, proudly sporting a Batman cape. He sang in the school choir with an unabashedly passionate operatic voice. He was smart, witty, and a great conversationalist. He was self-actualized, so he didn’t care about being cool, which therefore made him cool. Even though he didn’t click with any of the typical high school cliques, he still wasn’t a dork. 

It makes sense that Hollywood, the shaper of American values, would try to portray dorks as intellectual irritants. In his book, “Anti-Intellectualism in American Life,” Richard Hofstadter shares how, in order to create a working class, it was necessary for intellectualism to be seen as a weakness. The media helped perpetuate this falsehood by propagandizing the masses into believing that being smart is social, sexual suicide. So men have been conditioned to believe that being bookish is emasculating, and women are encouraged to be dumb (or at least act like they are), in order not to intimidate men. 

And yet we keep voting for them! Families and friendships are torn apart over them! For people who won’t shed a tear for you when you’re gone, who won’t care for you when you’re sick, and who spend your money on war and personal perks, leaving a few scraps for you under the guise of “social programs.”  

In his book “The Story of B,” Daniel Quinn says, “If the world is saved, it will be saved by people with changed minds-not by programs.” Politicians promise programs. Programs for problems they’ve created. If we want to save the world, we have to change our minds, values, and actions. We can’t keep shopping on Amazon while hating billionaires and wanting to stop climate change. And voting for people who are puppets for said billionaires. 

We need a new -ism. One where politicians are finally realized for what they actually are-unnecessary. The -isms we know have been tainted by cruel dictators, failure and propaganda. Maybe under the new -ism, there are no politicians because we govern ourselves and our own communities. There are no means of production because we stop producing and repurpose all the shit we already have. Cops could exist, but only to arrest the real threats to society-those who destroy people and the planet for power and greed. And equality wouldn’t be synonymous with ignoring your values so you can thrive in a patriarchy, but having the freedom to thrive in a community that creates and practices its own set of values.

Quinn also said there is not “a single other people in history who made it a goal to proselytize their neighbors” and that “there is no one right way for people to live; that’s only the delusion of the most murderous and destructive culture that history has ever produced.” If one culture makes gross overconsumption its most important value, that’s not nearly as damaging as when almost the entire world is doing it. 

Source: @buddyhead_

I’m not saying we should all go out and buy army jackets and 3D printers and start hunting down CEOs, although that does seem to be the most unifying idea at the moment and I’m not mad about it. But we all have the power to do what Luigi did without being violent. He drew attention to a class cause by making it impossible to ignore, uniting us in a profound way when we’re expected to be at our most divided. He shined a spotlight on how the masses have one thing in common that causes us to overlook political affiliations and sexual, religious, gender, and racial identities. And Luigi only scratched the surface. We’ve banded together over one healthcare CEO being shot. How many other potential targets are there? What if a developer gets shot next? A corrupt church leader? A banker? A landlord? A CEO of an exploitative music platform? Imagine the rejoicing in the streets as the rich scurry to hide in their bunkers. But we don’t have to resort to violence. We could just do things like stop paying taxes, rent, and credit card and medical bills. Put that money towards housing, healthcare, and whatever the hell else we want, just not a psychotically-sized military.  

Source: @buddyhead_

When I was twenty-three I started dating my boss, who was twenty-seven years older than me. I didn’t know he was fifty-one when I developed feelings for him. When you’re so young, it’s hard to tell. But one day, we were looking at photos from his childhood and I noticed a shocking number of classic cars in the background…except in the photos, they were brand new. By that point, it was too late. He'd already groomed me to the point of making me co-dependent. I had moved to New York a few months before without knowing a single soul in the city. And I was a teacher, without having a teaching degree or any real classroom experience. Here was this man who made me feel less alone in the city, and less insecure in the classroom. I was a perfect candidate for the predator that I now see him as. 

He used to call me "Oona," after Charlie Chaplin's wife who was thirty-six years younger than him. Maybe it was a comforting reminder - knowing that someone else had also exhibited the same predatory behavior as him.

Oona O'Neill and Charlie Chaplin

Our relationship was on and off again for about two years. The first time it was “off” was because he broke up with me for wanting to go to Spain with my friend, instead of sitting in Brooklyn all summer waiting for him to get home from work every day. I went to Spain anyway, and after returning, I tried to stay away, but he made it clear that my life at school would be much easier if I started dating him again. We were together for another year before I finally broke up with him for good. I taught at the school for another year and dealt with being publicly screamed at by him for things like using the copy machine (which was a necessity, considering we didn't have textbooks). He put me in a corner on the third floor, away from all the other teachers and students in the grade, who were all on the first floor. I taught students with special needs, so feeling more isolated and separate was the last thing these students needed. Once, a gossipy teacher shared with him that I’d gone to a massage therapist for shoulder pain, and he called me into his office and yelled at me for an hour and a half. Telling me how disgusting it was, and that the therapist probably had cameras in the room. Eventually, he forced me to transfer from the school.

While this relationship was consensual, it was completely sick. A young woman dating a man so much older than her has no idea how many jokes she’s the butt of, how many pervy comments and fratty high-fives she’s the subject of. But most importantly, a younger woman lacks the life experience required to know how to handle herself in a potentially manipulative and dangerous power dynamic - probably the exact reason older men (the demented ones, at least) go after them. Age of consent laws seem less about protecting young women, and more about giving men a set date for when they can legally begin preying on them and somehow not feel gross about it. 

I was at the beach in Florida recently, and saw three stunning, bikini-clad women in their early twenties sitting behind me. My first thought wasn’t one of jealousy. Nor, like so many men, was it one of pathetic drooling and perversion. I felt sorry for them. I wanted to protect them. I can’t imagine how much sexual harassment those young women must have to endure. That’s one thing that bothers me so much now about my experience with a warped man…no one said anything. No one older than me tried to protect me. Not one seasoned teacher who’d seen this happening before, pulled me to the side and said they were there for me if I needed them.

When the clock strikes midnight on a woman’s eighteenth birthday, it doesn’t suddenly mean she’s primed and prepared for a fifty (or even a thirty) year old, developmentally delayed man to pounce and take her back to his den. I’m still not as old as my boss was when he targeted me at a job fair, but I’m disgusted by the idea of dating a twenty-three-year-old. Young people deserve to have their own life experiences, make their own mistakes, follow their dreams, have adventures, without having someone who’s already done all of that (or is bitter because they didn't) trying to make a relationship work with them. Oona had hopes of becoming an actress. She gave those up and had eight children with Chaplin instead.

Vice Magazine

The onus shouldn’t be on the younger person to do the right thing and stay away, it should be on the older one. In my case, I didn’t know any better...he did. I was young and dumb and thought I was just having a good time. I didn’t realize that, to this day, that experience would continue to be a source of shame and embarrassment, while for my former boss, it’s the opposite (even though it shouldn’t be).

My friend, who’s also a musician in her forties, recently told me that at one point she’d wanted to try out for American Idol, but that now she’s “too old.” I thought that statement spoke volumes about ageism, not just on American Idol, but in the music industry. That an experienced and capable singer and songwriter would feel she’s ineligible to share her art, simply by virtue of her age, goes to show the powerful conditioning of the music industry. Why would anyone who still writes, sings, and plays music think they’re “too old” to do it? 

I told her that she should absolutely try out for American Idol if she still wanted to (not that I support that corporate freak show of cover songs and pyrotechnics), and that I would love to see an eighty-year old woman up there, passionately belting out a tune. 

Well as it turns out, she is too old to try out for the show. I looked it up, and found out that when American Idol first began, the age range to audition was between sixteen (which is too young) and twenty-four (which is also too young). They eventually bumped the limit up to the ripe old age of twenty-nine. They also lowered the minimum age to fifteen. Could that possibly be because the music industry, which is largely run by men (of the first thirty on Billboard’s 2023 Power 100, only six music execs were women, and four of those had male partners), likes to get ‘em while they’re young to start grooming them, so that by the time they’re eighteen, they’re primed and ready to bare their bodies onstage and on the cover of Vogue or Rolling Stone? 

Randy Jackson thinks snapping up young singers is “great.” In a recent article in American Songwriter, he said, “You’re seeing stars like Justin Bieber, a lot of younger artists do it, so you want to take advantage of that. There’s a lot of kids that are getting better earlier. It’s great.” He never mentions the mental health impacts of singers being exploited, infantilized, and hyper-sexualized…I mean, “discovered” at a young age. 

Former judge Kara DioGuardi added, “Take LeAnn Rimes, at a very young age she was singing very deep country songs, and she had that old soul and it worked. It could be a kid who’s really young…or it could be someone that’s a little bit older that, for whatever reason, it hasn’t worked out yet…It’s about that dream and helping people realize it.” In other words, helping people realize their musical dreams is only limited to those who are “a little bit older” than “really young.”

Business Insider

Aside from being discriminatory (and pretty icky), by being ageist, the music industry is also missing out on a valuable economic opportunity. In the U.S., the lowest earners are, coincidentally, about the same age as American Idol’s contestants - sixteen to twenty-four year olds. They, along with people over sixty-five, also make up the smallest portion of the population. The highest earners are between the ages of thirty-five and forty-four. And people thirty-five to sixty-four make up the largest portion of the population. So not only do people over thirty-five have money, but there’s a lot of ‘em. They also grew up learning that music is an experience. Something to listen to, not consume and forget. They buy vinyl and merch, and would probably go to shows more regularly if they started a little earlier. 

Lionel Richie and Ryan Seacrest believe the world is ready for older contestants (how brave!). Seacrest said he'd be down to host a Golden Idol, which is great, but that would only feature singers in their “golden years.” So American Idol would be serving music to both of the smallest and lowest earning populations in the U.S. I’m no economic genius but…that seems dumb. 

In an interview with USA Today, Lionel Richie wisely stated, “I know [actors] who did not make it in their 20s and 30s. They made [it] in their 40s and 50s because they finally realized … from Hollywood's point of view, the character is what we need, that new, older character." Lionel added, "Singing is the same way. Sometimes there are so many people who are so qualified and ready to go at 40 and 50. We just completely missed them altogether." 

This year, Kim Gordon put out a universally acclaimed album at seventy. At forty-two, Beyonce did the same. And at forty-one, so did St. Vincent, for an album she also produced. Established artists over thirty-five release relevant music all the time. Why is the industry so blind to the unestablished artists who could possibly do the same?

Kim Gordon

In addition to older acts, some of the most talented bands I’ve seen lately are in their teens. Their parents are about my age or older, and their influence on their kids’ music is undeniable (they have taste). These parents deserve to hear new music that they can identify with…and best of all, they can afford to buy it. 

How did we get conned into giving 30% of our incomes to criminals and psychopaths? Who will inefficiently spend it on themselves and their dysfunctional cronies. Acting like the prison-like schools, the insulting social services, and the tyrannical military they fund with what’s leftover should be enough to keep us quiet about continuing this charade.

Read like your life depends on it...because it does.

The only election I ever voted in before the last one, was the 2000 election. And I voted for Bush. In Florida. Proof that people really can change. During the twenty-two years following that election, I’ve read loads of literature on U.S. history and policy to educate myself, because it became more and more clear to me that my backwards Florida education didn’t do that. I also moved to New York in 2003, which gave me the opportunity to spend time with more Black people who, despite what I’d heard growing up, aren’t poor because they’re lazy. There’re just more poor Black people than white because...the government. I’ve also gotten to work with immigrants who aren’t actually taking jobs from American people. They’re helping to fuel our oh-so-precious capitalist system, by working for greedy business owners, who pay joke wages that Americans would never accept, so that they can make more profits. And this is perpetuated by...the government. Throughout all my living and learning, I came to notice a pattern: the government spends our taxes creating more problems for us than solving them. And that realization led me to anarchism. A word that symbolizes rebellion...one of my absolute favorite things. Before voraciously reading about it, I didn’t know the theories or practices behind anarchism, nor do most people. They see that A with an O around it and associate it with chaos, when it actually means “anarchy is order.” It doesn’t mean out of control, it means out of their control.

In the 1830s, George Caitlin, an American painter, author, and traveler lived among about 48 Indigenous tribes west of the Mississippi River. About these tribes, he said, “I love a people who are honest without laws, who have no jails and no poorhouses. I love a people who keep the Commandments without ever having read them or heard them preached, who never take the name of God in vain, and who are free from religious animosities.” This, in a nutshell, is anarchism. And tribal societies are proof that it’s not something that “works,” it’s just something that is...when there are no corrupt governments to fuck up the environment and people’s lives, that is. People don’t need laws to know what and what not to do. It’s oppressive governments and inequality that create the so-called “need” for laws.

The first ten years after the 2000 election, I didn’t vote because, as a recovering republican and Christian, I was politically and spiritually lost. I didn’t vote the ten years following that, because I truly didn’t (and still don’t) believe in presidents. The only reason I voted in the last election was obviously because Trump’s a legit psychopath who shouldn’t have access to nuclear weapons. God, the amount of self-righteous lectures I’ve gotten when people found out I didn’t vote. I got so sick of people pressuring me, guilt tripping me, and treating me like they’re superior just because they voted...but will sit on their asses, doing nothing for justice the rest of the year. Just voting is the same as just offering your “thoughts and prayers.” And despite being accused of it, I wasn’t being apathetic, I was being an informed non-voter. I felt a moral duty not to vote for anyone who will continue to drop drones on civilians. Who will take their sweet time repairing the climate, when we don’t have time. Who will do the bare minimum to provide adequate affordable housing and healthcare. And by “adequate,” I mean, the type of housing and healthcare that politicians wouldn’t be grossed out to have access to. By voting, we’re perpetuating the death of the planet. The death of more kids through school shootings. The death of more women through unwanted pregnancies and dangerous abortions. The death of our rights.

I never want to vote in another election again, unless there are activists running, not politicians. If Chris Smalls runs for president, I’ll quit my job and make it my life’s work to help get him in office. But that’s my standard, and none of us should settle for anything less. Getting to keep choosing between two ineffective, incompetent, out-of-touch-with-reality psychopaths every four years is not freedom, and it’s not effective. We could all participate in a peaceful overthrow by voting out of this archaic, too broke to fix, greedy, destructive, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, don’t-give-a-fuck-about-us, terrorist organization we’ve been supporting for four hundred years. We can’t keep marching without a mission, demanding change without a list of demands, and organizing for a day, instead of organizing for a new life. 

For practical ideas on how to live out of their control:

 “The Life of an Anarchist/The ABCs of Anarchism,” by Alexander Berkman, Edited by Gene Fellner

“Radical Environmentalism,” by Peter C. List

“Deschooling Society,” by Ivan Illich

“Utopian Essays and Practical Proposals,” by Paul Goodman

“Rules for Radicals,” by Saul Alinsky

“Anarchism,” by Peter Kropotkin

I was already starting to get fed up with our mayor. I started teaching last November at a public high school in Brooklyn after a twelve year break, and it was pretty shocking to see how little things have changed since 2008. I left teaching with the intention of becoming a rock star, but ended up being a starving artist instead. After over a decade of living in the real world waiting tables, cocktail waitressing, catering, painting apartments, nannying, tutoring, bartending, dog walking, dog sitting, cat sitting, turtle sitting, and even pig sitting; it’s a crime how ill prepared these students are for the real world they’re constantly being warned about. And it’s certainly not the school’s fault. It does more than it can, with what little it has. It’s the DOE’s fault. The DOE that has been under mayoral control since 2002. And Adams reeeally seems to want to keep it that way, despite seeming to have no idea what to do with it.

I’m working for an outdated system, where primarily non-white students are forced to center their “education” around the outdated Regents Exams. Exams that are super important to their education, but not important enough for private school kids to have to take them. In case you missed my sarcasm there, I'll be blunt: I’m basically being forced to practice systemic racism every day in order to work for the DOE. Every day I have to witness students being fed an old-fashioned, insulting, boring “education” so they can pass a pointless test; while students who are mostly white, are given enriching educations that prepare them for fulfilling and/or lucrative careers. The very fact that there are still such a thing as “good” schools and “bad” schools, and it’s mostly white kids in the “good” schools, is proof enough that racism is alive, well, and rampant in this country. And Adams seems to be more concerned with maintaining control of the education system, than changing it.

In addition to school resembling prison more than a place of enrichment, it’s also becoming increasingly violent. Last week there were multiple stabbings between students from my school, and the school we share a building with. The kids are understandably starting to lose their minds. They’ve just been forced to return to school after a global pandemic, and the DOE is acting like it’s business as usual. Not only does the DOE not seem to realize there are freshman entering high school straight from the safe arms of elementary school, with no transitional period in junior high; but who knows what these kids were up to the last two years? I’m sure some enjoyed learning from the comfort of their homes, surrounded by their loved ones. And those students might be experiencing severe separation anxiety now. Then there are others, who didn’t spend a day on the computer. Maybe they didn’t even have one (since many of the ones the DOE provided didn’t work). Or maybe their home environment didn’t offer a quiet or safe space for them to learn. All of these kids are coming back to a system that hasn’t changed, when everyone and everything else has. One of the first things Adams should have done when he took office, was acknowledge the mental and academic impact the pandemic has had on students (because Mayor de Blasio sure as hell didn’t), and put a plan of action in place, effective immediately. Instead, the DOE he controls continues to force students to waste hours of their day, taking ridiculous surveys and tests, without any concern for their academic or mental health. And it’s starting to show.

The NYCDOE has a thirty-eight billion dollar annual budget, which is most likely the reason Adams wants to maintain control of it so bad. I could go on for pages about how that multi-billion dollar budget is being mismanaged, but now let’s talk about that night back in March…one of the coldest nights of the year. When Adams had the cops remove all of the homeless encampments under the BQE. While he was partying with Cara Delevigne (which, I mean, at least he’s giving someone with mental health issues some attention), people who had found a safe place and community under the BQE, were forced to sleep on the streets, or go to a homeless shelter and risk being beaten up or raped.

This was already enough to cause me to be fed up with our mayor. But today, the rage, impatience, and disgust that’s been simmering inside of me for months, has finally boiled over. This morning I found out that one of my favorite regulars from my bartending days, was shot and killed yesterday while riding the Q train. A man who was generous and kind to everyone, devoted to his family, who laughed his way through life, and made everyone around laugh with him. He was just sitting on the train, going about his day, and a man walked up to him unprovoked, and shot him point blank in the chest. I had to Google it to be sure it was true, because I couldn’t wrap my brain around this actually happening. Sure enough, there was his adorably mischievous face, with an unthinkable headline above it. So with the bewilderingly disturbing amount of shootings taking place recently, I wondered what the mayor’s been up to, and if he’s obsessively battling the mental health crisis here like he should be (because you can't be a murderous gunman and sane at the same time). I ended up coming across a May 6 article in Gothamist that showed the main thing Adams seems to be obsessively doing, is traveling. The article was full of him making excuses about why he needs to be away from the city all the time. It’s because the world needs him.  

Well Mr. Mayor, I have a few responses to some of your comments that were quoted in the article. And I know that, what with all the fine dining and partying with celebrities you gotta do, and with me just being a hard working peon in a system you have absolutely no business having control of, that there’s not a chance in hell you’ll ever see this. But still...my therapist said when you have something to say to someone and you can’t say it to their face, sometimes it’s good to write instead. So…

When you said, “I’m going to criss-cross the globe and show people our product,” what exactly the fuck does that mean? What is our product? Constant fear of being shot, a school system that only teaches kids the skill of how to tolerate boredom, no affordable housing but a plethora of empty luxury condos, food deserts, and an increasingly dangerous mental health crisis that’s being completely ignored? Yes please! Show that…then maybe people will stop moving here and causing the rents to sky rocket!

When you said, “You know, here in New York when I leave the city, they criticize me. Probably in London, they encourage you to explore.” Then can you please go be mayor there?

You also said, “If you are a mayor that only stands on your block, you’re not going to solve the problems of the globe.” Wow. That might be one of the most arrogant and delusional things I’ve ever heard. You actually think you have a chance of solving the problems of the globe? Thanks for making me laugh! I needed that…it’s been a truly shitty day. I mean, I know a lot people don’t know how to think critically anymore thanks to the incompetents running the education system, but don't underestimate our common sense. Before you go off gallivanting, solving all the problems of the world, you might want to solve just one of the major problems going on in your own city.

You sarcastically (and again arrogantly) said, “So if the only way our city can function is if I’m physically here and not learning what other mayors are doing, then we’re in real trouble. That’s not leadership.” Relax dude. No one thinks the city can’t function without you. But it’s funny what you say about wanting to learn from other mayors. Because in The Times, when asked about how your approach to homeless encampments was different than de Blasio’s, you said, “I’m not sure what he did. That was the previous administration.” Soooo…do you want to learn what other mayors are doing or not? Because if you had known what de Blasio did about the encampments, you would have known it was the exact same thing as you. He made a bunch of promises about how he was going to solve homelessness. And I guess much like you, he thought that clearing homeless encampments magically made homelessness go away. He was obviously wrong, or else you wouldn’t still be dealing with the same problem (albeit badly). But if learning what other mayors are doing is actually what you're up to on your travels, then please, share your findings with the class! As the people who pay your salary, we'd love to know what spending our taxes is helping you to learn.

Adele was given hell a few months ago, for saying she loves being a Woman at a gender-neutral awards show. Source: rte.ie

I never wanted to have children. Not only did I not want to have children, I was disgusted by, and maybe even morally opposed to, the idea of squeezing a person out of my vagina. I only recently realized it’s because of this Bible verse I’d heard since I was a kid:

To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” Gensis 3:16

I was indoctrinated since childhood to believe that bearing children in pain was a punishment. Every time a mother would have a child on one of the sitcoms I would watch in the eighties, I would cringe with fury and embarrassment when they would show the mom screaming in pain, with her legs splayed open onscreen. Why did they have to show Women carrying out a dramatization of their punishment, for boys and men all over the country to witness on TV? Why couldn’t we just bear our shame and pain in private? It was then that I decided I was never going to have kids, and be punished and humiliated for something I had nothing to do with.

And what was it that Eve even did? That forced every Woman (and even animals!) henceforward, to be punished so heinously? Because painful childbirth clearly doesn’t have anything to do with just...Science. She shared an apple with Adam, that came from a tree that had some kind of knowledge about good and evil? 

Ya wanna know what I think Adam would’ve done if he’d found that apple? He would’ve kept it for himself and forced Eve to have a bunch of kids that he’d put to work clear-cutting the Garden of Eden, planting apple orchards, tending to the trees, and gathering the harvest. Then he would’ve sold the apples for five dollars each, saving a few to give to Eve so she could use them to make him a pie. And knowing the god that Christians worship, he (because god is obviously a man) would’ve said it was totally fine! It was Adam’s Manifest Destiny!

I can’t believe how ridiculous the story of Adam and Eve is. And I also can’t believe it wasn’t until recently that I reflected on how that story has affected me my whole life. I’m forty-two years old, which means it’s taken me four decades to undo the conditioning I’ve unknowingly internalized since birth. Four decades to overcome the utter humiliation of being a Woman. Of being made to believe that one Woman is the reason for all evil in the world (when, ironically, it’s mostly men doing all the evil). Of having commercials on television (one of the most powerful mediums for social conditioning) tell me that I should wear deodorants (some of which are now known to cause cancer) to disguise “feminine odor.” Of squirming with embarrassment when I’m watching TV with my dad, and a commercial comes on that treats having a period like a messy, disgusting burden; instead of something that some cultures revere. Of hearing phrases like “Choosy moms choose Jif,” because only moms are responsible for shopping for food (and then cooking it). And buying laundry detergent and cleaning products that she’ll gleefully use to take care of all of the duties that make a household function. Four decades of being bombarded with ads that shame women for having “unsightly parenthesis” around our mouths (or what I like to call... smile lines). Or fine lines around our eyes (which I also call smile lines...or sun damage from enjoying a childhood spent in the sun. Guess we should stop laughing and going outside when the sun’s out!). Or “crepe-y neck skin.” “Post-menopausal belly fat.” “Wiggly underarms.” “Varicose veins.” “Cellulite.” The list goes on. I challenge you to find one commercial on network television, that shames men for having the nerve to live past the age of twenty-five.  

Four decades of asking questions like, “Why does the Declaration of Independence say that only men are created equal?” Or “Why is it that, in the Bible and other books and documents, when someone is talking about a group of men and women, they only use the pronouns ‘he’ or ‘him?’” And being told something like, “Because god gave man the gift of ruling over and speaking for everyone, so by saying ‘he’ or ‘him,’ it applies to both men and women.” And having to accept that as a legitimate answer, because that was my fate. My punishment. For Eve. Sharing a fucking apple. 

It’s taken me four decades to recognize I’d been brainwashed into believing that women are truly lesser than men. To understand why, even though I accepted it to be true that women had to be under patriarchal control, I was angry about it. It was because I knew deep down it was a bunch of horseshit. 

This is why when my friend told me last night, that Adele was shamed a few months ago for saying she’s proud of Women, I was truly saddened. As someone who understands the amount of humiliation, fear, shame, rage, discrimination, degradation, insecurity, harassment, ageism, gaslighting, marketing, propaganda, and subliminal messages one has to overcome in order to get to the point where she can say she loves being a Woman; I’m hurt that anyone who has never experienced being a cis Woman, would find fault with that.

If you weren’t born a cis Woman and wish you were, I have the utmost respect for your struggle and your strength. But a two-gender society is a construct invented and imposed by the patriarchy. And there’s nothing it would like more than to have us fighting over things we have no control over; like our race, gender, and sexual orientation. Native tribes believe “people who were born with the spirits of both genders express them so perfectly. It is as if they have two spirits in one body.”  Prior to colonialism, Two Spirit people were considered a gift from The Creator, because they were able to see the world through the eyes of both genders at the same time. The family members of Two Spirit people were considered lucky. I often think that Indigenous people are watching all this bickering and hoopla we’re making over gender and sexual orientation, and just shaking their heads. We’re playing right into the patriarchy’s hands. It wants us to make a big deal out of something that’s only a big deal, because it made it a big deal. So that we’ll be too divided and distracted to notice all the terrible shit it’s getting away with. 

Trans people are allowed to own their awesome Two Spirit identity, and love being Trans; and Women should also be allowed to love being Women. It seems like a cruel joke that, just when we got to the point where we can genuinely feel proud to be Women, we’re made to feel ashamed for saying it out loud. My guess is Adele felt she was in a safe space to express pride over her gender identity. Instead, she was chastised, and by people who know the pain of gender and sexual oppression, no less. All while the patriarchy sells the planet to the highest bidder. 

Umoja, a thriving matriarchal society in Kenya, where only women can live. Photo Source: http://ppccparley.com/umoja-paving-the-way-for-womens-rights-by-erin-amos/

The recent threat to have our reproductive rights taken away from us, is a sign to me that I’m clearly not the only Woman taking my precious time to realize how powerful I am. How worthy I am of making decisions, not just about what I do with my own body, but about what role I’ll allow the government (as long as I’m forced to have one) to take in my life, and the lives of all of my non-patriarchal allies. And also how unworthy the patriarchy is of making those decisions. How do I know I’m not the only Woman taking my time to come to these realizations? Because if more Women had, we would be raising hell right now. We and all of our allies (which would basically be anyone who’s not a white, straight, cis male; and our greatly appreciated white, straight, cis male comrades) would be refusing en masse, to participate any longer in the patriarchal system. That would mean no more money system, two-party system, five-day work week, and all the other trappings of the dysfunctional “civilization” men have imposed on all of us. No more environmental destruction, perpetual slavery disguised in various forms, hunger, war, and certainly no more billionaires.

I mean, as long as we’re telling people what to do with their reproductive systems! But seriously, I would never have the audacity to force a man to get a vasectomy, unless maybe I’d already had four kids with him. But in that case, I would only ask him to get a vasectomy, not all men. Just as ridiculous, cruel, and unjust as it would be to do that, it’s just as ridiculous, cruel, and unjust for men to force women to have children against their will. In fact, it’s worse. A vasectomy lasts a moment...and can even be reversed! A pregnancy lasts a lifetime.

Nuclear Family Fantasy - “The Things We Pursue”

Download on Bandcamp at https://nuclearfamilyfantasy.bandcamp.com/track/the-things-we-pursue

“One who is too intelligent and informed to believe any of the political ideologies being pushed today. Their knowledge of government has evolved to the point that they cannot trust in any way, shape, or form; the fairy tales and coincidences peddled by people in power, regardless of the party a politician proclaims him/herself to be in. A political atheist understands that these people tend to be the worst of humanity-- greedy, sociopathic, narcissistic, lying criminals, and are not worthy of supporting...especially with a vote. To trust a politician is the ultimate act of misplaced faith.”

by Marshemellow August 31, 2016.

Urban Dictionary

I recently saw this video on my all-time favorite IG page, Buddyhead (IG: @buddyhead​_​). It’s of California Congresswoman, Maxine Waters, telling homeless people to go home.

I replied that this video is the reason why we should start electing activists, and not politicians. Someone responded, “Stupid take. Activists don’t get elected and besides, the system is the system no matter who is in office.” This was the second time I’d heard that “activists don’t get elected” recently.

A month or two ago, a former student at the high school where I teach, Clive Destiny, came to speak to our students about intersectionality and activism. His dream is to one day run for mayor. He found at the beginning of the Black Lives Matter protests that he was hesitant to show his face, preferring instead to keep his mask on, despite being outside. He was afraid he might be photographed marching, which could hurt his future campaign for mayor. He said that “activists don’t get elected,” and he believes that’s why Bernie Sanders didn’t win the presidency. But then he thought about Alexandria Ocasio Cortez who, no matter what we may think of now, most definitely seemed “for the people” when she was elected. So Clive fearlessly (and probably fearfully) uncovered his face, and started his own grassroots organization, Unite NY (IG: @uniteny2020).

When I was in college down in Florida during the late 90s, there was this guy who wanted to be president, so he structured his entire life around one day running. He dated this mean sorority girl, who was a complete dick to him, but would make the perfect First Lady. He never tried pot. He never drank too much, and was often hard at work preparing for his eventual campaign, instead of partying with his fraternity brothers (which was actually probably a good thing, because frat boys...gross). I sometimes wonder what happened to him, and what he felt when Trump got elected. I imagine he must’ve thought, “Shit! I wasted my entire youth trying to be an upstanding citizen, and here this fucked-in-the-head reality TV star ends up winning!” Either that, or he voted for him.

I say this with love in my heart, and more with concern than judgment, but I’m starting to believe that celebrities are psychos. Gore Vidal said, “Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.” Not only do I believe this to be true about politicians, I believe it to be true about celebrities. Having the need, willingness, or desire to be the most powerful person in the world, I don’t know, seems like a huge red flag to me. In the same way that having the unconscionable ability to show up at red carpet events, adorned in expensive clothing while hardworking people are homeless and starving, willingly allowing hundreds of people to take photos of you and ask you banal questions that have nothing to do with anything that matters, rarely if ever using your power and influence for good, cannot be a sign of mental stability.

Fighting climate change, while advertising your lavish lifestyle to the world; thinking you’re spreading awareness while having no awareness of your own ignorance and the damage you’re doing, is a sheer sign of mental illness to me.

Cara Delevingne’s first eco resolution was to use less plastic. 

Wait...I’m confused. Is that a plastic ball pit? In her home?

Having the audacity to walk up on a stage, and use your class privilege to do something that would get most people arrested or worse, is a sign that something’s up. I get it. Just because Will Smith might have known about his wife’s relationship with whoever she had a relationship with (I don’t know because I don’t care), doesn’t mean he was okay with it. If something is up with their marriage, or him, or whatever, I hope it gets addressed. But that doesn’t mean that he still didn’t do something compulsive, that could’ve gotten someone else in the same position (minus the fame, power, and money) shot.

Instead of worshiping celebrities, maybe we should recognize them as the flawed human beings they are, and give them time and space to get help by not obsessively following them anymore. By not allowing them to “influence” us anymore. I mean, we’re basically taking advice from psychos on how to live and what to value.

In the documentary, “The Real Story of Paris Hilton,” Paris admits to mistaking celebrity worship for love. She also stated “Everyone says I’m the original influencer. But sometimes I feel like I helped create a monster.” In this photo, a dejected Paris is being told that, after spending an exhausting day taking awkward photos with strangers, and ending it frolicking for god knows how long in a pool full of plastic toys; she has to be up for “hair and glam” at 8 a.m. Let’s give this woman a break!

Mental health is my number one priority right now. And not just mine, but everyone’s. Because until we’re all mentally healthy, we can’t possibly care about caring about the planet. Until we can take care of ourselves, we can’t take care of our environment. And as long as we’re being influenced into thinking that an opulent lifestyle is a sign of success and happiness, when it’s so clearly not, we’re never going to be able to fix what we’ve done to this earth.

Gross. 

Let’s give celebrities some time to join the real world, instead of continuing to let them live in La La Land by “yes”ing them to death. Instead of coveting their grossly materialistic lifestyles, let’s turn our backs on it. Let’s focus on ourselves instead of on them. Let’s stop making them feel forced to be on a constant consumer driven loop, posting a million selfies, endorsing an unsustainable lifestyle and shit we don’t need; by not continuing to say we “like” what they’re doing.

Just something to think about next time you consider following someone with a blue check next to their name.

Let’s get influenced by these influencers instead:

Derrick Palmer and Chris Smalls, organizers of the Amazon Labor Union. Donate to their GoFundMe at www.gofundme.com/f/vqsqe-support-chris-smalls-who-was-fired-by-amazon. We’re comin’ for ya Bezos!