A garbage blog for a garbage person

this is still top tier comedy today

ive just seen the american psycho characters drawn as my little ponies and honestly i dont think patrick should have been given that cd as his cutie mark. i think you're doing it wrong if you're not making him a perpetual blank flank

look if you're gonna draw characters as my little ponies you have to remember that the cutie mark can't just be any old imagery you associate with them. it has to be Representative. it's their Unique Characteristic. to quote the pony wiki page i just googled, "Twilight and Applejack point out in Call of the Cutie how lacking a mark means that ponies still get to experience 'the thrill of discovering who they are and what they're meant to be'." there's narrative shit going on here there's Themes. and patrick bateman is NOT unique. he has NOT discovered who he is or what he's meant to be. the end monologue of the book is literally about how he has absolutely nothing going for him in this regard & is simply a vacant, hollow person merely vacuously gesturing at the idea of having depth. and when he rants about music, that's what he's doing there, too. his lyrical analysis is shallow/vaguely inaccurate summaries at best and completely warped at worst. everything he has to say about music--and in general--is intensely fixated on commodities and on appearing normal and intelligent while being entirely devoid of any intelligent or individual thought. so no, his cutie mark is not music. mr "missing that hip to be square is about making fun of conformist squares & proudly proclaiming that its actually about how fucking Awesome it is to be conformist and consumerist" does NOT have a fucking cd cutie mark. He's a blank flank. He has no unique identity. There is no future for him. There is no self identity. He's a fucking blank flank. okay? sorry i got a little passionate about this. there is no exit and he has no cutie mark

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

#i was in a car with a linguist i had never met before the car trip and like half an hour in he looked at me#after i finished describing a geology thing that was happening out the window and asked if i'd ever spent much time on tumblr#the fuckor of it all#and then we spent six more hours driving#it sure does leave linguistic markers! i'm not sure i'm good with it (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)

it is one thing to be a linguist and another to be a linguist who knows enough of 2010s Tumblr to spot one of its enjoyers

I'm not sure what's more concerning here: the idea that the Tumblr vernacular, a principally written idiom, is discernible in spoken communication, or the fact that if you click through to the original post, its contents appear to have been replaced at some point in the last two months with Minecraft YouTuber fanfic.

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

okay. rude.

Wait…. 😳 there’s a way out?

Fuuuuuuck me. It’s through? And that’s the only way? Fuuuuuuuck dude

what do you mean my childhood affected me

not even God can predict this ending

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

they got married btw