wrote a poem in the waiting room of the docs office and i wasnt going to post it here but ive decided to grow a pair and Just Do It ✔️ its about a specific experience but it uses peekaboo as the carrying metaphor cuz children are excused in their naivety and their mistakes but i am not a child. so there is an intentional irony in using that perspective. supposed to exemplify me feeling like there is always room for me to be forgiven and repeatedly hanging onto that wish, even tho i am a grown adult who unfortunately happens to have the experience permanence of a baby playing peekaboo. explaining this poorly but just read if u want ✅
i turn my head to watch the monarch flutter by me
and when i turn back your face is in your hands
my heart is in my throat and my tears are on my cheeks
why would i turn if only to see fewer colours on a merely different canvas
ive never lost like this in my short time
and the guilt will lie with me forever while i learn from this eternally
how could i have lost you
for a moment i am learning how deeply hatred can course through me
and the breeze rifles across my skin to remind me i am alone
until i see the deep chestnut glass of a doe's gaze beaming thru your fingers
and my chest is full and my cheeks are dried and dimpled
what i once knew to be cares i now know to be glitter twinkling to the linoleum floor
the depths of my soul singed but not soothed
my laughter rustles the trees, the blossoms seasoning the lawn
twinkling like glitter, and you are gone again
the same tears season the same cheeks, the same breeze claws at me
and then you have played enough and you are leaving
and you are further from me than you have ever been
and i am clambering on my hands and knees to follow you but i cant keep up
why is it that only now i am learning?
i want to turn around to that blissfully ignorant child and wipe the dimples from its babbling face, stupid boy
from the chances she was given she learned nothing
she is still in me, scrambling to make things right again, crying out for your return
but i know when i can get a word in that she needs to be told that it is over
and every moment we spend together will rehash this conversation
neither of us ever hearing the other, both of us still talking over you, all of us having
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