You Were Amazing

If you don’t remove your shoes in my house I’ll remove them for you with your feet as collateral damage.

I had peeps in my dorm last night and some dude jumps onTO MY BED WITH HIS SHOES ON and was like “yo what’s the big deal” like BOI MY FACE GOES THERE GET UR NASTY SHOES OFF

As a Canadian I thought it was just Americans who didn’t remove their shoes in their houses but turns out there are millions more RIDICULOUS HEATHENS around the world keeping their shoes on when somebody probably just swept the floor.

this cracked me up more than i think it should have

not all heroes wear capes

Big sit energy

If Edna dissed me like that I’d have to throw my whole self in the trash out of shame.

merry christmas ho ho hoes

NO HALLOWEEN IS NOT OVER YET.

IT’S ONE AM ON NOVEMBER FIRST AND SANTA HAS ALREADY POURED THE SHOTS

Oh My God

I’ve never seen this added to it before

IT GOT BETTER

you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you better watch out 🎅 you bETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎅

This is very good.

This is meddling with forces we have yet to fully comprehend.

It’s wax.

*centrist voice* So would you stop being friends with someone just because your favorite color is blue and their favorite color is waterboarding innocent people?

I’m this turtle