*evil Spock voice* eat shit and die 🖖🏼

i miss everyone

you wouldn’t like me after you’ve seen my fabulous flying machine

i bet girls hated it in 1902 cuz you would constantly go on dates w guys who are working on an invention to present at the world fair

The two most accurate predictors of transness are childhood bullies and lesbians who go “im like NEVER attracted to cis men but youre my one exception I think” to girls that don’t know theyre girls yet

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

i was actually born as a CD but a wizard turned me into a human to teach me a lesson

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams