so be it. i'm your crowbar.

@staff

He looks like a fleshlight

It would have cost you $0.00 to not say that and yet you did.

I FOUND ONE OF MY OLD DIARIES FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL AND IT STARTS OUT “DEAR JOURNAL-CHAN”

@thebibliosphere As a bard I think you should see this

the energy of ordering food via drive thru and then eating it in your car in the parking lot is so powerful. like you could walk 50 feet and sit at a table in the light but we just stan alienation in this country

me hunched over in the dunkin parking lot like a goblin, devouring an old fashioned donut in the dim orange light of the streetlamps, abba blasting,

physically im in my bedroom but mentally im on an island in greece singing abba 

friend was right cuz that fit shreds

owned

Big nut energy!

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

I’m sorry what

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

@genericrevenge

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

Mia Thermopolis, you wild

I can’t believe people can get the point across with crackers.