what even am I?

i rlly hope theres a season 2 so we can see her animated 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

shes the lesbian ever i love her so much

favorite comedies that ended too soon ≡ Santa Clarita Diet (2017-2019)

Manila really is Just Like That.

i go to Plaza Miranda and within seconds i will find a practicing mangkukulam selling cheap toys, tarot card readings, underwear, and curses all from the same stall in front of Quiapo Church. i have bought a curse off one of them once. i still have it in my bedside drawer because i chickened out last minute and never used it but now i'm too scared to get rid of it.

i walk through the informal settlers/squatter areas near my home and hear whispers of people dying in their sleep-- and it's almost always because of either two things: the police shot them in the night or because they brought something back with them from the province.

people disappear a lot. sometimes, they never find them again. sometimes, you only find parts of them. you're sure it's probably the work of a human but. you're never actually sure.

there are balete trees where you least expect them. there's one by one of the back roads leading to my office building and nobody wants to take it down because there's something living in it. same goes for the great sampalok tree in front of our office building. but they park their cars right next to them, paying a simple bow and "tabi, tabi po" as a parking fee. i try not to look at both trees when i pass by in the evenings on my commute home.

just last week my aunt called to casually tell me that they had their house blessed AGAIN because their maid had accidentally angered something the last time she visited her province of Nueva Ecija and everybody in the whole family has been waking up with scratches and bruises on their arms ever since. they had the house blessed by an abularyo this time because the first blessing from a catholic priest didn't work.

actually, my whole family on my grandmother's side is sensitive to this shit-- which explains the nonchalance, tbh. this isn't their first paranormal rodeo.

i know there is a branch of literary theory that studies why the development of magical realism, tropical gothic, and urban fantasy in fiction is largely credited to the global south (i.e. latin america, mainland asia, and south east asia), but fucking living in this bizarre city really drives it the fuck home.

there's at least two fucking balete trees near Manila's town hall. a building that is, by the way, shaped like a fucking coffin. i cannot make this up. it's so on-the-nose, it's like actual literary imagery right out of a magical realist/tropical gothic short horror story. and it's REAL.

listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning

luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps

once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionals 

youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning

the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter

after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time

once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites

Where's my gaudy decorations? The out-of-this-world paint jobs?

Here's the general art style Chinese mountains are drawn in:

And here's how some of them actually look:

I started masturbating analy with one finger and it felt good but not great like i never got anywhere and git kind of bored