it’s me, I’m your boy

28 is the oldest you can get in your 20s. 29 is crazy young like leave them alone weirdo. 30 is old 31 is super young

Broke up with my eggwife now we’re in a vicious custardy battle

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

what the hell are you supposed to do live without any vices or bad habits on vice and bad habit planet

galadriel voice "things that were once $5 are now $20"

I ❤️ ADOPTING SPEAKING & TYPING MANNERISMS FROM MY FRIENDS

straight vs queer ships in shows are always like….omg girl and boy shared a lingering glance once? that must mean they’re in love?…versus i killed my father because he dared lay hands on you. when i was doing it i felt like the divine light of justice and my love for you felt pure and clean and holy because i rid the world of evil in devotion to you.

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"