The Hogwarts Prophet

So does anyone actually dispute that this is the greatest song of all time?

        HIGH FLYING BATTLE OF THE SKIES!

                                                                                   Saturday 10th November                                                                                                  Samuel Skeeter.

Waking up to cloudy skies but a shred of light poking it’s way through the grey mass was a reassuring start to the day, considering the horrific weather last weekend displayed. The forecast promised only light showers and a breeze to face the players of today’s match. There was hope in the air that spectators would actually get to see this weekend’s match instead of a curtain of rain! 

All the players were geared up and ready to go for the 2 o’clock kick off. A tense silence between the second the quaffle left Shacklebolt’s hands and the moment the whistle was blown. In a flash, blue and red dashed around the pitch and the game was injected with a shot of adrenaline. Excluding old rivals Gryffindor and Slytherin, this is one of the most anticipated matches of the year!

5″ Gryffindor are already off to a great start as Foster bags the first 10 points of the match, in a quick dunk into the far right hoop. They're making it look easy.

9″  The Lions Captain, intercepts a pass from Wilson to Scott gaining 10 points.

12″ Nott and Skeeter are lurking around the top of the pitch, Nott seems intent on spotting the golden ball while Skeeter’s trying to gain his balance.

15″ Brown takes another ten points for the Lions, Gryffindor have their A game!

17″  Weasley goes to take a pass from Brown but has to dodge a bludger. The chaser collides with Richards in the blue, who grabs the quaffle from him. Ravenclaw snatch ten points! The score is now 30 - 10 to Gryffindor.

22″ Nott has his eyes on Skeeter, he’s not letting the smaller Ravenclaw out of his sight as he chases him through the stands in a game of cat and mouse.

28″ Brown takes a quick ten points for Gryffindor while Archer and Edwards are throwing beaters at the Ravenclaw chasers near the goal.

30″  Foster and Weasley attempt a Porskoff Ploy. The quaffle slips straight through Weasley’s arms but luckily Brown recovers the quaffle and scores 10.

35″ Archer dodges a bludger which then turns back around on him, he draws his bat and smacks the hyperactive ball into the Wilson, winding him for a moment.

39″ The Lion’s seeker, Nott,  stops sharply when Scott drops the Quaffle, without a second thought, the Gryffindor is flying fast down towards it, grabbing it and loop up towards the hoops, throwing it through and scoring 10 for the Lions. 

45″ Thomas has been keeping a good game, he’s successfully kept the bludgers away from the new chasers Ravenclaw have recently taken on. Gryffindor are certainly putting the newbies through their paces.

49″ It’s unbelievable the amount of points the lions are racking up while Foster claims another ten! Dodging a bludger from Matthews, he weaves through Richards and Bradley before aiming it straight through the top hoop!

52″ Matthews and Thomas smack two separate bludgers which Louth narrowly dodges. This allows Bradley to pocket 10 points with the keeper distracted.

59″ We see Thomas lining up a bludger and successfully backhands the ball to hurtle towards the Gryffindor Captain. Weasley takes the bludger in the middle of a reverse pass, which he manages to pull off despite injury.

60″ Skeeter and Nott look a little more lively as they’ve caught first sight of the snitch. Skeeter darts off after it first but Nott is quickly on his tail. The two bump shoulders a few times before soaring up to the top of the Hufflepuff tower.

62″ What’s this? Gryffindor have brought the lion out and Brown scores! It is quickly intercepted by Foster who rounds the posts and takes another 10!

62″ The score stands at Gryffindor leading with 90 - 20.

67″ Weasley takes a dodgy shot, it clips the side of the hoop in his favour and Gryffindor take another 10 points! This play has the Ravenclaw chasers flying in circles while the reds in the crowd are screaming with excitement.

71″ Skeeter and Nott seem to be trying to see who’ll be first to shove the other into the nearest stands. Skeeter slips for a moment and fumbles into a dive before picking the nose of his broom back up a few feet before the ground. Nott drops down after him and the snitch sends them both hurtling after it.

76″ Weasley goes for a shot against Wilson but is quickly blocked. The match is getting tense as the adrenaline spikes again. Hearts are racing in the stands!

77″ Weasley goes back for a quick second attempt after being aided by Edwards. The beaters throws him the quaffle after intercepting and the Captain snatches another ten points for Gryffindor! His name is chanted by the reds!

78″ A flash of blue and red catch the crowds attention as Nott and Skeeter are gliding a few feet from the ground in pursuit of the snitch. The two round the corner, there’s some rough play from both as they’re desperate with outstretched hands to be the one that takes it. The nose of their’ brooms knock against each other sending Skeeter into a bit of a wobble, the seventh year clearly having more experience and skill over the fourth year Ravenclaw.

79″ With the distraction from the two seekers, Edwards takes an opportunity and with some quick bluffing, he scores ten points against Wilson.

81″ Nott and Skeeter certainly aren’t giving up. Nott shows off his experience as he drives the younger player closer to the ground. They’re both batting each other’s hand out of the way as the snitch is at the tips of their fingers. It takes a split second for Skeeter to lose control of his broom and with the close proximity he sends Nott into a tumble onto the sand as well. It’s unclear where the snitch has gone until Skeeter starts wriggling and the snitch pops out of his collar before whizzing about disorientated. The Ravenclaw snatches the golden ball from in front of his face and 150 points are added to the scoreboard.

84″ The final whistle is blown by Professor Shacklebolt and Ravenclaw are declared the winners of today’s game even though Gryffindor showed true heart.

After an extremely dominant play from Gryffindor, the odds couldn’t have been predicted to lead Ravenclaw scraping a victory. It was certainly an act of luck that was blessed upon the eagles that afternoon. However, it cannot be disputed with the fire and drive that the lions showed they’re a force to be reckoned with.

This has been a incredible start to the season and the rest of the tournament can only be imagined, there are several strong players out on the field this year and Gryffindor are certainly ones to watch in the upcoming matches. 

         OPENING THE SEASON WITH A BANG!

                                                                                    Saturday 3rd November                                                                                                  Samuel Skeeter.

We started off the day with a pretty disappointing weather forecast, strong winds, torrential rain and bitterly cold conditions to add to the mix. Crowds of students gathered in hats and scarves, ready to cheer on their houses and friends. The true spirit of the school was definitely present at today’s game.

As we drew close to the 2pm kick-off mark, Professor Shacklebolt gave her usual safety talk with both teams and Cooper Anderson was seen approaching the Hufflepuff Captain, Bradley Wood, and offering his hand with a few words.  Both Captains shook hands and then separated to begin the game.

The players took their positions and at the sound of the whistle, the quaffle was released! Excitement erupted from the stands as flashes of green and yellow darted around the pitch. The snitch flew high into the clouds and both Wood and Clarington chased it up until they were lost in the mass of grey.

3″ The game has taken a roaring start. The quaffle is being thrown around like a hot potato. It is barely remaining in the hands of either green or yellow for more than a second! The players are all showing a fierce attitude today!

11″ Slytherin certainly aren’t playing around. Smythe has dropped low with Avery hot on his tail. The beater performs the technical Bludger Backbeat and sends Avery into a frenzy knocking her from her broom to the grass below.

18″ The first point of the match is scored! Hufflepuff take 10!

24″ Dunn sends a quick and harsh bludger towards Evans who takes a hit to the ankle and narrowly misses falling from his broom. Owens, the second Slytherin chaser almost collides with his teammate while on his way to score 10 points. The rain is really causing some trouble today ladies and gentlemen.

27″ Anderson and Smythe have hovered around together for a moment. There’s some form of quick discussion there that sees the two of them arching out and rejoining several feet lower. The two effortlessly perform a Dopplebeater Defence and send a bludger hurtling towards Dunn knocking him back into the Gryffindor stands. Medics are quickly on the scene and see to the player.

34″ After some disorientation and medical clearance, Avery rejoins the game.

34″ Slytherin quickly rack up 30 points onto their scoreboard!

35″ Clarington makes a surprise appearance! Her unusual seeking style makes an appearance, rather than spend most of her time hovering above the other players with her eyes peeled, she is actively weaving and twirling around everyone else to hunt for the little ball. Wood has dropped back below the grey clouds and quickly darted off towards the Ravenclaw stand!

42″ Hufflepuff score another goal, taking their total to 40.

43″ The current score is Hufflepuff 40, Slytherin 30.

51″ Wakefield attempts a Chelmondiston Charge and barely succeeds! The move was risky but paid off taking Hufflepuff to 50 points.

53″ It appears Clarington has spotted the snitch! She takes a sharp left and darts off after the little golden ball between the towers. Wood reacts and follows!

66″ The game has stilled for a moment as the weather has taken a turn for the worst. The rain is coming down heavily and making visibility poor. Wilkinson takes advantage of this and scores a quick 10 points bringing Slytherin to 40.

70″ Anderson is in the air commanding his team. He sends Smythe low to cover their chasers and it becomes clear he’s having some trouble with his rain goggles, resulting in him giving up the fight and throwing his goggles to the ground. Something seems to grab Anderson’s attention and by the time he looks back the Captain has been hit in the back of the head with a bludger. Jones is responsible for the forceful blow that knocks the Slytherin off his broom.

70″ Wood has spotted the snitch and is hurtling after it through the horrendous conditions. He has his arm stretched out to grasp it before a flash of green takes him out. It appears that Anderson had fallen from his broom directly above Wood and crashed into him on the way down. He completely takes out the Hufflepuff seeker and the two toss and tumble to the floor with a harsh thud. The players are splayed out in the sand and although Anderson appears unconscious, Wood sits up and it takes a moment for him to realise his entire left arm is bent the wrong way, earning a groan of discomfort from the crowd, before he passes out.

73″ With both Captains out, the command is handed to Smythe and Diggory.

78″ Malfoy blocks four back-to-back relentless shots by Hufflepuff chasers Wakefield and Thompson. It’s a tremendous play from Malfoy and it has the snakes cheering his name, before he takes a passing bludger straight to his face. The blow leaves the boy hunching over long enough for Hufflepuff to score themselves 10 points. We’re witnessing fantastic play from both sides!

79″ Seizing the moment, Wakefield scores another 10 taking Hufflepuff to 70.

83″ There’s clear anger from Wilkinson at the bombardment their Keeper has taken. He grabs the quaffle and darts off to the posts where Diggory is stationed. The Hufflepuff reacts quick enough and heroically darts over to block the goal. However, the keeps loses balance on his slippery broom and falls to the ground in a heap. The crowd groan as they realise Hufflepuff have just lost their keeper.

85″ Avery and Thompson quickly try and defend their goal but the Slytherin chasers take full advantage of the opportunity and rack up another 10 points.

88″ With Wood down, Clarington has the opportunity to grab the snitch. She darts in and out of the remaining Hufflepuff players and up into the thick, black clouds. The Slytherin returns with her arm raised, a glimmer of gold clutched tightly in her hand as the game comes to a close with a cheer from the greens.

89″ The final whistle is blown by Professor Shacklebolt and Slytherin are declared the winners of today’s game! What a battle we have witnessed today!

Hah! Thanks. To be quite honest with you I’m just cleaning out my inbox 🙈 Although I hope to have an article out for you today or tomorrow.

Me! For sure! I mean, have you seen me clinging to my broom for dear life? These punks stand no chance against me. I’m gonna knock them all dead. The only reason they didn’t start with Ravenclaw for the first game is because they were afraid it would be a blood bath. I can’t be tamed. Watch out Hogwarts.

My thoughts? Seb you can do better dude. Although it’s a little weird. I mean… you’re fifteen, going any lower and it’s just a bit odd. That’s my opinion. Sleep with as many people as you want by all means, you do you, but maybe head further up the school rather than down. It’s safer. Plus....more experience?

I haven’t slept with him. I don’t know. Ask him maybe?

Is that a trick question?

Maybe I’d have an easier time remembering the students if they made themselves more memorable. But I digress.

Please, though, Sue. Your audience awaits.

Look, I understand that you’re a little too obsessed with the idea of two of your classmates (I’m assuming, otherwise just two 14 years old getting it on, which is so much worse), but this is just crass and a little much. I watched these two become best friends over the past few years, and frankly, I’ll be damned if they’re made to feel awkward by this. 

Let the kids be, for all of our sanity, and probably your own. I think I do remember Professor Clarington mentioning that he offers counseling to the particularly disturbed. 

Well, Nonny, luckily for you, I graduated last year anyways. Now, if you’ll give me a second to remember who actually attends Hogwarts....seems like the dash is being overrun with Professors lately....

Okay, in no particular order: Bradley Wood (obviously, at this point, the guy’s practically a walking Greek god), Tyler Nott (I would nott be opposed), Sebastian Smythe (because he’s trying to sleep with everyone and seems to actually be succeeding), Santana Lopez (we love a firecracker with a smokey eye), and Cooper Anderson (admittedly because of my own biases, but honestly, have you seen the guy?)

Oh, I’m sorry, is my one reaction, not good enough for you? It’s like you all haven’t tried to relentless harass me about my personal life and things you know nothing about. 

But go ahead, give me something real to react to. I’d hate to disappoint you all, I’m here for your entertainment, of course. 

Yes, thank you, this is exactly the thrilling sort of gossip I was going for. Thank you, truly, for this riveting piece of information. 

Coop, bb, I missed you too, love xx 

But I’m working, sweetheart, I need gossip. Lunch tomorrow, though?