Postcard Confessions

“The harsh world stares at her hands... I wish she knew how much I love them.”

“I think it’s funny how you thought I wouldn’t tell anyone about you... My family couldn’t be more proud of me for turning you in.”

“I have involuntary orgasms doing strenuous exercise at the gym all the time. I wonder if anyone notices.”

“I compare my groceries with those of others at the store and always find my choices superior.”

“You told me grandpa died of old age. I heard you talking and know he killed himself.”

“I’ve been pumping iron for a year & my wife has said nothing, but other women do...”

“Sometimes I feel like a freak for still being single.”

“STOP HIDING!! And start doing what you need to do in order to be happy!!!!”

“I’m bringing a flask to your straight-edge wedding!”

“I’m your sweet innocent cookie bearing neighbor... who turned you in for disability fraud.”

“Now that I’ve lost the weight, fat people disgust me.”

“Hiding the family secrets didn’t save us from them.”

“I will never tell you how in love with you I am. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“I’m so much healthier (and HAPPIER) as the ‘estranged’ one!”

“When I was young I spent a lot of time praying, going to mass, saying the rosary. I wish I had spent that time drawing.”

“While drunk driving I had the thought, ‘I always thought this would be harder to do...’ “