#groceries

My roommate (26F, I'm 27F) and I split grocery costs, we take turns doing the big shop every other week and Venmo request each other for half. Sounds simple, except when it's her turn, she consistently buys stuff neither of us discussed, specialty snacks, a $9 candle "because I was already there," skincare from the grocery store, and then requests me for half of the total receipt.

I brought this up gently the first time it happened, she said she'd "be more mindful." Second time, half the receipt was baking supplies for a cake she was making for her boyfriend's birthday, unrelated to our actual meals. I paid it both times because I didn't want to nickel and dime over what felt like small amounts, but three months in it's added up to real money, and I'm the one always double checking receipts now like some kind of accountant instead of just trusting the system we agreed on.

Told her going forward I'll only Venmo for items that are actual shared groceries, and she can keep the rest off my half. She said I'm being cheap and "ruining the whole point of splitting things evenly," and that tracking it item by item is petty compared to how she never complained when I bought name brand stuff during my turns.

AIO for wanting to actually stick to what we agreed to buy, or is itemizing groceries between roommates genuinely as uptight as she's making it sound?

Reddit consensus: NOT OVERREACTING (NOR) (94% confidence)

Top comment: “You both should just start buying your own groceries. NOR”

Notable comment: “NOR. Personally I’d be more inclined to keeping simple. My housemate and I buy our own food and take it turns for shared household items like dishwashing liquid, garbage bags, salt, pepper etc. It’s easier to manage budget that way and avoids arguments or people taking advantage. Keep a list on fridge of whose turn it is for the basics as they are purchased. It helps avoid one person always buying the cheap stuff like garbage bags during their shop while the other person always gets stuck buying the pricier items. You literally take it in turns paying for individual household items. Hope that make sense?

In my experience once a housemate like yours has shown they are willing to take advantage they have shown you who they are. Believe them. It will lead to resentment and frustration if you allow this to continue.”

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