memories and the lack of

you're all i think about. you said you need me so badly i made you feel like you're starving. you're the one who kept saying you "don't do casual". there's so little of me left after the last time, i had no choice but to give you all of me. so then why wasn't i important enough to prioritize? why did i have to be the first thing to go when life got stressful? i was here, trying so hard, so desperately to help lighten your load. you couldn't be bothered to give me the time of day. the way you looked at me at the picnic when i said i was glad i stayed- i ignored it in the moment but wondered if you weren't, if maybe you had been ignoring me on purpose, told myself i was catastrophizing- did you know then? did you know even as you kissed me goodnight? did you tell your other partner on the drive home? for weeks you said nothing and let me once again convince myself i'm just broken. why did you have to be yet another person who claims to love me while making me feel so small?