i had two hours of sleep and that why i can’t and won’t shut up
that too
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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h
macklin celebrini has autism
Not today Justin

if i look back, i am lost

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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i had two hours of sleep and that why i can’t and won’t shut up
that too

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parks and rec had the best minor characters
This is funnier than anything shitpostbot could ever dream of.
Only 32 days until this joke expires. Reblog while you can.

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The bean jar
[My Chemical Romance voice]: When I was…. a young boy… my Father… had what he called the bean jar…
have i mentioned recently @allieinarden is the best
*has a crush* This is infatuation. It isnt real
*sees hot person in hallway* Love at first sight is true the lord has blessed me today the stars have aligned My soulmate is here
If those eyes are jigglin gtfo

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“i don’t trust anyone anymore” says the 13 year old girl who got in an argument with her friend one time
His username is:
xHarlemShakex
1. A. 14. N.
2. B. 15. O
3. C. 16. P
4. D. 17. Q
5. E. 18. R
6. F. 19. S
7. G. 20. T
8. H. 21. U
9. I. 22. V
10. J. 23. W
11. K. 24. X
12. L. 25. Y
13. M. 26. Z
24 8 1 18 12 5 13 19 8 1 11 5 24
X H A R L E M S H A K E X
one time i was really sad and i decided to put cream cheese and bagels in a blender to see if i could make a bagel smoothie and when my dad asked why i was putting bagels in the blender at 2 in the morning and I just started crying hysterically
low key wanna break a poets heart so they’ll write poems about me forever and i will be on their wiki page as a mysterious, possibly villified figure.
space is weird
Did you know that if you put Saturn in water it would float? Or that we are moving through space at the rate of 530km a second? Or that the moon is drifting away from Earth? What about that the light hitting the earth right now is 30 thousand years old?
thanks nasa

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I had a dream recently...
That I was out playing pokemon go, and people all over the world had started seeing this new pokemon popping up. Like out of nowhere this little thing started appearing occasionally. No word from Nyantic or The Pokemon Company about when or why they had released it. The pokemon was called “sleepytired” and it looked like this.
And you couldn’t catch it, the ball would just go straight through it. People were data mining and shit trying to figure out how to catch this thing but they couldn’t. Eventually they would just have to give up and leave the encounter. After a few weeks of people reporting sightings of it, and no word from Nyantic, some creepy shit started happening…
What started happening was, if you entered an encounter with a “sleepytired” with the AR on it would manifest in the real world. But it wouldn’t do anything. It would just float there, watching.
So people being curious started doing this whenever they could, and these things would just manifest and stay there. Obviously this was causing problems because these things would just be floating menacingly in local parks and in the local McDonald. And they couldn’t be moved, because anyone who tried to move them or touch them would be struck by sudden, intense, chronic fatigue that seemingly had no cure.
The last part of the dream I remember was watching a news broadcast telling people that pokemon go was now illegal, and to avoid touching or disturbing the creepy little things that are now just about everywhere.
what, in no particular order, the fuck
jokes over all you fuckers
“In an incredibly disheartening study”