your local happiness pokémon

no human being is 100% happy 100% of the time

being a person is extraordinarily difficult even in the best of times

this is not the best of times

someone is grateful you exist (don't argue, it's true)

a bad day does not predict a bad existence

Take some time on your own to decide what healthy relationships and friendships are. Make a list of the things you want, and also the things you need (ex: would be nice if we had things in common, not always necessary. But I need honesty)

Step two-

Commit yourself to the standards you have for your relationship. Articulate what you will not tolerate. Promise yourself that you won’t allow specific behavior from anyone.

Step three-

Mean it.

Step four-

If a person does not adhere to your boundaries, let them know they have crossed a line. Not in a week from now, not later on when it happens again. Immediately address the disrespect, let it be known that it wasn’t ok, and say you cannot be around a person who behaves that way/treats you that way

Step five-

Mean it.

Step six-

Give the person space to demonstrate they understand your boundaries. No need to nag or continually bring up how to felt slighted. Give the person space to change their behavior.

Step seven-

If the person crosses your boundaries again, create space from them. You may or may not decide for that space to be permanently cutting them off, or just demoting them from friend to acquaintance. Do not pretend that it didn’t bother you. Do not ignore it. Do not immediately forgive them. They did not respect your boundaries, so they are not equipped to be in your life.

Step eight-

It's okay to cut back, even if something is big and beautiful, if it's overwhelming you. You can chop back by a third with most plants without doing any damage. It's very daunting at first, seeing the absence, and you'll think you've made a horrible mistake cutting back something that was Good - but it will recover, it will even thrive, and you will be happier not having Too Much to deal with anymore.

It's also okay to give away a plant when you realize it's not making you happy. It's okay to replace it with a different plant that does.

Some plants just don't want to live with you. You can nurse them along, coax then, coddle them, and watch them get more and more ragged and miserable no matter what you do. It's okay. It's not necessarily you. There could be a draft you can't feel, the humidity in your house could be wrong past all fixing, or maybe its roots were rotten from the day you brought it home. You can let it go without shame. You tried. It didn't want to live with you.

Succulents want to be left alone. They are very pretty, they are very exciting, but they want to be left alone. There's nothing you can do to buy a succulent's love but put it in a window and walk away.

In fact, most plants don't need you to try as hard as you'll feel obligated to try. You might crush the first few with how much you want them to be happy living with you. That's okay. Learn from it. Don't try so hard. Water less often. Except for coleus and polka dot plants, those fuckers are thirty.

Growth is slow.

When plants are repotted, they don't 'do much' for a while. All the work is going on under the soil, where they are trying to put down roots in this new place, get their nutrients, get their botanical ducks in a row, as it were. Give them time.

One day you'll look around and the plant you thought was just kicking along in very dull fashion has doubled in size, erupting with leaves that lovely waxy bright green of babyhood. It will catch you off guard. Happiness always does.

If you break something, it's not necessarily dead forever. If you strip the leaves away from the break and put it in water, you have a 50/50 chance of it putting out little white roots like hairs. You can start again sometimes, and this time don't drop it getting out of the car.

Rotate your plants if they're not in direct light, or else they'll grow weird.

Everything wants water and light. You can give them water and light. It's just a matter of finding the right proportions for the right plant.

It's okay to cut back, even if something is big and beautiful, if it's overwhelming you. You can chop back by a third with most plants without doing any damage. It's very daunting at first, seeing the absence, and you'll think you've made a horrible mistake cutting back something that was Good - but it will recover, it will even thrive, and you will be happier not having Too Much to deal with anymore.

It's also okay to give away a plant when you realize it's not making you happy. It's okay to replace it with a different plant that does.

Some plants just don't want to live with you. You can nurse them along, coax then, coddle them, and watch them get more and more ragged and miserable no matter what you do. It's okay. It's not necessarily you. There could be a draft you can't feel, the humidity in your house could be wrong past all fixing, or maybe its roots were rotten from the day you brought it home. You can let it go without shame. You tried. It didn't want to live with you.

Succulents want to be left alone. They are very pretty, they are very exciting, but they want to be left alone. There's nothing you can do to buy a succulent's love but put it in a window and walk away.

In fact, most plants don't need you to try as hard as you'll feel obligated to try. You might crush the first few with how much you want them to be happy living with you. That's okay. Learn from it. Don't try so hard. Water less often. Except for coleus and polka dot plants, those fuckers are thirty.

Growth is slow.

When plants are repotted, they don't 'do much' for a while. All the work is going on under the soil, where they are trying to put down roots in this new place, get their nutrients, get their botanical ducks in a row, as it were. Give them time.

One day you'll look around and the plant you thought was just kicking along in very dull fashion has doubled in size, erupting with leaves that lovely waxy bright green of babyhood. It will catch you off guard. Happiness always does.

If you break something, it's not necessarily dead forever. If you strip the leaves away from the break and put it in water, you have a 50/50 chance of it putting out little white roots like hairs. You can start again sometimes, and this time don't drop it getting out of the car.

Rotate your plants if they're not in direct light, or else they'll grow weird.

Everything wants water and light. You can give them water and light. It's just a matter of finding the right proportions for the right plant.

Found out you weren’t autistic but actually schizophrenic? Thought you were ace and aro but you were just a late bloomer? Tried out new pronouns and a new name, but eventually learns that you are cool with your assigned gender? Thought you were gay, but then one day you also fell in love with someone of another gender? 

….And so on and so forth.

We NEED to normalize this shit. No one should feel like they need to uproot their whole identity and move to a new blog because their label changed. No one should be shamed for getting that one step closer to figuring themselves out - even if that step is a step towards the “norm”, we need to celebrate the bravery and strength it takes to come out again and again and again.

A lot of times I don’t do the self care things that I need to do because they seem too daunting or time consuming or involved. But what I’ve learned is that I don’t need to do everything with my full effort to the best of my ability, I just need to do it. It’s much better to do a little self care than none 

You don’t have to wash your hair every time you take a shower. Or shave your legs. Or use that fancy exfoliating body wash. You can jump in and wash your face and your underarms and nether regions and hop out. You will feel so much better and be so much healthier than if you had sat in bed and not even approached the bathroom because the idea of conditioning your hair was too much

You don’t have to cook a full healthy meal. You can eat components that would go into a meal like cheese and left over rice. Or you can even eat just one thing like a slice of turkey or a piece of bread. Eating a simple thing is better than eating nothing, even if its a bag of chips

You don’t have to go to the gym and do a full workout. You can do a workout at home or go to the gym and just do one or two things. Your workout can consist of you doing ten sit ups on your living room floor

You don’t have to go for a walk. Open the blinds or even the window and let the sunlight in. A lack of sunlight can be detrimental for your mood and even health, so any little bit helps whether you are physically outside or not

You don’t have to do your hair up in a cool do or put product in it. You can just comb it and go on

If you are a person who shaves their face, you don’t have to use that fancy aftershave. You don’t even have to get every spot perfectly. You can half ass it and look more like yourself than you did, and that is pretty important to your mental health

You don’t have to brush your teeth for two minutes, floss, use mouthwash, and put in your retainer. You can do some or one of those things. Brushing your teeth for fifteen seconds will do more than for zero seconds, and using mouthwash alone will do more than doing nothing

Self care is hard sometimes and you get overwhelmed. We all do and that’s okay. The best way Ive found to get it done is to get it partially done. Doing things just “good enough” IS good enough when thats all you can do. Be kind to yourself and just do what you can. I love you