-Kesar (naturally-unstable)

Now, as I sit in my room with a new scar left in my mind, the feeling of a new set of hands refusing to let me go, my brain cannot help but twist the story into making me believe that I was at fault. I am not. I remember my words, my panic. I remember wanting to run, and running. My friends want him in jail, but the fear that made me freeze then, has turned into dread. I hate confrontation, so I will do what I can. I will bury it deep enough that it will only occasionally ache in my heart.

The law is still against us, but I still dare to dream. Of bike rides and apartments, of you and me. And you can trust me to make things dramatic, but trust me when I say I fell in love when you said you saw me in your carefree dreams. It's been years, babe, so let me warn you, I'm quite the hypocrite. I'll never approve of your boyfriends, i'll be jealous of your husband, but, honey, what about me? I scan through all the cinephiles and I stay awake with the clowns. I've had my own share of traitors, you know how men are. You're still the purest of jewels, you still laugh at me, when I say the boy from eighth grade still flirts with me. He says he wants to be my first kiss, but he doesn't know of the time I had your lips on mine. We walked hand in hand, we sang the quietest of songs. I sent you different letters, they all scream I know you better. I reserved all my "I love you"-'s for only when your name is on my screen. So I tell him to not make me wait for something he can't give me. And I can't move on from something I never had, but is it wrong for me to wish that when you will wave into the crowd, there will be a smile only for me?