sometimes life puts you in the same situation again to see if you’re still a dumbass

“where were you during the coup?” on my couch in sweatpants because it was noon on a wednesday during month ten of an out of control pandemic

everything is so important and so fucking stupid

when will your flop ass motherfucking fave get a vocabulary

it feels like those of us still on tumblr have committed for life

I am drunk and on my way home walked past this truck that had pictures of fish on it and said ‘meat without feet’ I laughed so hardr

guns don’t kill people, horses kill people

The government is supposed to be doing shit for us. Demand it.

“ah surely the kanye jeffree starr alleged hookup is the craziest thing I’ll hear today” I say, a full minute before checking twitter to see armed maskless white supremacists have stormed the capitol building and the senate is barricaded in their chamber

What’s up with the fairly recent trend of leap years all being bad fucking years like 2008? Shit. 2012? Fucking shit. 2016? Absolute fucking shit. I’m just gonna predict 2020 is gonna be the Most Absolute Stinky Piece of Shit year to date

Date of Origin: July 3, 2018