theo

"wait, you're gunna have to look me in the eye." because Natalie has never flinched away from the hard and ugly things in her life!!!! she was never given the choice she HAD to face it when her father turned their trailer into a crime scene. time after time she does the hard thing, head-on. she cuts the ring off Coach Martinez' finger when Travis can't. they all cannibalize Jackie but Natalie carries away her bones. they all hope javi comes back but Natalie wakes up every morning and marches out into the unknown. they all need to eat but Natalie wields the gun. they all draw a card but Natalie knows it's going to be her the same way Van knows on some level it won't be her. someone has to face it. and she pulls a card anyway even though she doesn't even believe in the bullshit and thinks lottie might be better off dead... but the group wouldn't be. so she will look the darkness in the eye, even while shaking and starving and scared, and force it to look back at her before she's sacrificed to it. maybe part of her hoped Shauna would do it quick, and she'd die like Jackie before it can get worse (how can it get worse?) but she still turns around to stare death down. you're gunna have to look me in the eye! you have to witness the life you think you're ready to take. you have to see that I am not an animal. and if I am, it's no different to the animal you are. and then that eye contact breaks. and they're all just starving rats in a cage. run!