Pony's Rant a Day

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?

Thank you @punkrorschach - this is fabulous!

He affects 5G towers like metal does a microwave

He walks into Chernobyl and parts the radiation like Moses did the Red Sea

The worst sin you can commit around so-called "woke" white liberals is pointing out that, actually, NOT every homophobic republican is gay!, actually, many of them are just evil cishets doing their thing, and the closeted ones affect people more through evil than through their gayness so why are y'all so fixated on it? Hooooboy y'all those liberals will FLIP THEIR SHIT because how DARE you fuck with their hilarious narrative turning every evil anti-queer politician into a good ol' fashioned fag like they deserve, it's actually SUPER liberal and cool and effective to blame all queerphobia on queer people, why are you RUINING our GOOD TIIIIME

"BUT DOESN'T GRINDR KEEP CRASHING WHEN--" no. Jesus it happened ONE time at ONE republican gathering. Yes there's a SLIGHT increase in traffic on the site for their gatherings - the same as EVERY SINGLE BIG GATHERING OF HUMANS. If you've been telling people "Grindr crashes at EVERY GOP convention" you've been spreading misinformation to blame queer people for the violence they face in the US and it's gross

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

Another good post to read for those writing small human characters. 

My son was about three when he came to me in the middle of the day and said, “Mommy, there’s a knight behind the bush.” I thought he meant a toy knight or something. So I follow him outside and he goes, “Listen. Do you hear it? It’s night behind the bush.” It was a cricket. A cricket was standing in the little patch of shade under the bush, chirping. So, my son saw this dark area with accompanying nighttime sounds and decided, okay, well, that is a night right there. Their brains are incredible.

My little bean knows she’s two, constantly saying proudly ‘I’m two!’ And the other day she saw this very frail old lady who looked one foot in the grave, pulled a face and said ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’ I almost screamed.

OH SHIT SHE’S THREE

the two year old bean is now 11, that’s how long this post has been going around, and I STILL bust out laughing like a maniac whenever I read ‘oh shiiiit. She’s three.’

Yeah, I’m not ready for foz’s kid to be a teen….

he enjoys mai tais and cookies just fyi

Do I now picture some of my Brain Raccoons looking like Jimothy? Yes.