*can't* believe he said that
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*can't* believe he said that

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The beautiful and endangered Dumb Gulper Shark
no you dont masaru
The Birdcage (1996) dir. Mike Nichols
a voidy trip through azeroth (and beyond)

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Good grief
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For reference, here's a full bibliography of bad* [tumblr]* posts which were incorporated into the above comment:
whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen
Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.
Evil macklemore (mackleless) song about buying brand new shit you don't need called Gift Shop
i spend your granddad's cash
i'm buying drop ship trash
I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks
Lemme get a little sippy
saw this post & blacked out for 30 minutes & came back to awareness having had created this. the creative urge overtook me.

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one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.
and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
can you imagine.
[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]