bluethelizard

https://archiveofourown.org/works/67509911

Duality of Days Without You

Bc you know what I want/hc? Sakura becoming a doctor for her own selfish reasons. Sakura becoming a doctor bc she has a saviour complex due to continued neglect in her team and family. Sakura dealing with her unhealthy obsession with Sasuke that stems from her flawed belief that they're soulmates and she just cant let go of him, hes not beyond saving. That she has to be perfect yet loves him despite his flaws.

Sakura's mind loved to wander.

Before, she would think of Sasuke and his pretty ways, his pearly skin, his white teeth, his long fingers that held his kunai with deft poise. His sharp accuracy during drills that bled into every one of his movements, legacy of a clan, upholding customs that no longer existed.

She'd imagine him slipping into her room late at night, while the moonlit sliver of light ran from the window. And he'd breathe in that way of his, calm, composed.

Sometimes she'd close her eyes and let her mind wander further. It was almost as if she could hear his breathing. In, and out. As her mind drifted into bottomless sleep.

Although, ever since he'd left the village, the events had replayed in a loop in her head. Sakura's fantasies had morphed into a different sort. Daydreams she used to enjoy, of eating out with Sasuke or training together on missions had given place to almost exclusively what-ifs and replays of that night.

When those thoughts came to mind, she'd always try to push them back.

Well. She'd never admit it, but, sometimes, at night, when no one was listening in to the fizzle of her heart, she allowed herself to give in to the longing, her tricked mind believing that anything could come true. Nothing had happened and nothing would happen. He'd come back to them, to her.

---

He was here before her, yet his breathing was not calm.

In her room, the window had shattered into a thousand pieces. Yet there had been no sound, only silence, the wind, his breathing. He was there before her, his head hung low.

She called out to him, still drowsy with sleep. "Sasuke-kun?" Still not quite believing. Why was he here in her room? Hadn't he left Konoha? Wasn't Naruto after him? Had they succeeded after all?

Her thoughts whirled around in her head. She raised her voice, panicked, and called his name again. When his face tilted to face her, it was twisted in an ugly grimace. Tears dripping down his cheeks.

Her body moved on its own. In an instant, she had side-stepped beside him. A second of hesitation, before her arms wrapped around his head, pushing all of her doubts aside. Her hands were on his neck, and they were freezing cold. She kept her hands steady, tried not to move, not to be overbearing, although she couldn't help clinging on to him.

His sobs raked through her like iced water. She could feel him so closely, her heart beating loudly against him, as his body shook in agony.

She wouldn't let him go. Never again. "What's wrong?" He was slowly shifting his weight on her, leaning his head forward on her chest. As if… returning the embrace?

Calm down, she told herself. The feeling of him leaning onto her was… foreign, to say the least.

The night was dead silent around them. She peered out the window, where the glass had shattered, and listened to the wind. Where had Sasuke-kun come from? Where were the others? Questions were spinning in her head again, yet she didn't have the strength to ask and be denied; she could only hold on, tightly, until he would decide to let go.

It was all so strange. The boy she loved and knew, crying into her arms, in the dead of night.

Worry dripped into her bones, like a sinuous poison worming its way in. She couldn't shake the feeling that the Sasuke-kun she knew had not turned back, would not come back. Nothing made sense. He was gone, yet he was here.

Why?

The boy she loved was broken beyond repair. She knew this -- yet she had kept loving him.

Had he realized his mistake? Sakura wanted to bite her inside cheek, hard, to see if this was all real. Does it even matter? whispered a small voice inside her. At any rate, he wasn't moving. He wasn't saying anything, either, which was not unusual for him. She realized, numb, that he had stopped crying.

Their breathing sounded together. Empty, hollow.

Uchiha Sakura often regretted her name.

It wasn't the sort of regret that kept her up at night. Those were reserved for life-changing moments in her polaroid, such as Pain's attack, when Sakura had rested the village's weight on her shoulders, trying her best to support her shishou, as a green apprentice medic. It wasn't the toe-curling, blush-inducing, tears-welling sort of embarrassment she felt when she first confessed to Sasuke and was met with little more than silence. There was another sort of regret, deep in her heart, that barely felt like a whisper. It was like the breeze blowing on grass. A sort of sated, muted regret, one that she felt hard-wired to forget, that she had never named.

Her name.

Although Sakura had worn the emblem of her clan throughout her genin and chunin years, it was little more than a formality as the Haruno clan had never been associated with flashy techniques or hereditary assets.

When she had flipped through its genealogy in her academy days as a ninja, it seemed utterly irrelevant. The only weight it carried was Sakura's pride. She had made it her own.

For years, although it had become her trademark, it was also a morsel of her civilian upbringing that carried over every mission she took, every human life she saved. A reminder of where she had come from; a token from her parents. She was a culmination of all that came before her.

People would stare at her back for hours in tents as they watched her perform surgery with her hand-molded chakra scalpels.

When she traveled on missions after the war, civilians and officials alike would sometimes recognize her. The flash of red passing by. Haruno Saskura.

She supposed it was a bitter irony to miss something that, in a way, she had never owned. The Haruno name had been little more than a slip of the mind, a creation that she had made hers by circumstance. A surname that was given to her and ended with her.

And now that she didn't wear it anymore, she wondered if it existed at all. Was it hers to begin with? Its existence was, or was not, dependent on her remembrance of her past. Without her to carry its burden it was as fickle as the wind.

When Sakura's mother died, her name had been chiseled into stone. Haruno Mebuki. Haruno-san had been well-loved in her neighbourhood, always welcoming neighbouring kids into her home, a radiantly beautiful woman with a heart just as golden. She had raised a wonderful family and an accomplished daughter.

Immortalized, the name finally carried the weight of its holder.

In the same way, Sakura had given up her name to become an Uchiha. Most days, the crest on her clothes was accompanied by an incredible sense of pride as she stalked the empty roads of the compound. Unlike her own, it was a gift drenched in history and blood.

It had been the dream of young Sakura to carry it.

But with a new name, she often felt like many connections severed and had to be rebuilt. People who did not recognize her, or refused to. No longer Haruno-sensei, but as Sakura Uchiha. She supposed there was a difference that was deeper than how people addressed her. To her it had always felt the same, but perhaps there was that nagging voice that told her she knew this; something after changing her name would always be fundamentally different. For better or worse.

Au début, la pluie est douce, une brume liquide comme un avant-goût. Pourtant, expressément insatiables, les météorologues avaient bien eu le soin de prédire l’averse qui allait suivre en soirée.

La boss avait failli péter les plombs en apprenant qu’il y avait interdiction de flâner après dix-sept heures; que oui, carrément, tout le monde devait rentrer chez soi avant seize. Delphie, elle, avait sauté de joie en l’apprenant. Il y avait des nouvelles de toutes sortes qui circulaient: plus de trois litres de précipitations, fermetures de routes; déjà on faisait des réserves de sable. Pas possible non plus de prendre le bus en paix. La voiture était inondée de gens qui dégoulinaient de la tête aux pieds, jusqu’à former une seule grosse flaque.

À la sortie du bus, la pluie lui cinglant le visage, Delphie eut une pensée pour M. Yoon, qui, à cette heure, avait l’habitude de se dégourdir les jambes. Était-il au courant qu’une grosse averse s’annonçait? Elle se dit qu’il valait la peine de passer le voir à l’étage.

Elle gravit les marches une à la fois, ses lunettes embrouillées, son chandail collant à la peau. Il m’excusera de mouiller son tapis, se dit-elle. Au déclic de la serrure, elle jeta un coup d’oeil à l’intérieur. Les lumières étaient éteintes dans le deux et demi. Son tourne-disque jouait.

 « Monsieur Yoon? »

Pas de réponse.

Son manteau manquait au crochet de l’entrée. Il avait pris sa canne et ses gants. Delphie sentit un petit frisson de panique monter en elle en pensant à cet homme qui marchait seul dans la pluie glacée.

Certes, il était encore tôt. S’il s’était rendu au parc, elle aurait encore amplement le temps de le rattraper pour retourner à l’appart.

Elle dégringola l’escalier et s’engouffra dehors. Il faisait un temps de chien et elle avait l’impression de pénétrer dans les limbes profondes d’une nuit sans lune.

Le truc avec M. Yoon, c’était qu’il ne portrait jamais de couvre-chef et ensuite se plaignait qu’il avait froid. D’ailleurs, tout le monde savait qu’il ne venait pas d’ici, mais personne ne s'était renseigné sur les détail. Tout ce qu’on s'était dit, parce qu'il aimait les rayons du soleil comme on aime un jardin de roses, c'était que ça devait être un endroit ensoleillé, où les champs verdissent à l’année. 

Bien sûr, quand elle arriva au parc, il y pleuvait des cordes. Delphie fit le tour des modules, mais aucun signe. Ni près de l’étang. Elle cria son nom, l’imaginant mal errer dans le centre-ville avec le temps qu’il faisait. Et à qui pourrait-il bien rendre visite? Ça faisait des années qu’il avait perdu sa femme, et maintenant, son chat.

Il avait pour seuls compagnons la musique, mais on n’avait pas entendu une note de violon dans l’immeuble depuis des mois. Seule ses vieux disques vinyls jouaient encore dans l’appartement autrement silencieux.

Il n’était pas non plus au café du coin, ni assis au piano en bordure de rue. Elle sortit son cell; pas non plus d’appels de l’hôpital.

Au loin, un éclair déchira le ciel où l’obscurité avait repris son règne. Toujours pas de signe du vieillard. Ses jambes s’emboîtèrent. Elle courut d'un arrêt à l’autre en failllant trébucher sur les marches du trottoir. Il était seize heures et trente.

Elle le retrouva finalement dans un abri-bus. Ses jambes glacées jusqu’aux os, elle se traîna jusqu’à lui.

 « Ça va, M. Yoon? » Elle tentait de reprendre son souffle. En l’observant, il n’avait pas l’air mal en point. Il était assis et fit signe que oui.

 « Faut rentrer, monsieur, il pleut à boire debout. »

Il ne cillait pas.

Au moins, pensa-t-elle, irritée, il était resté au sec. Qu’eux deux dans l’abri, et une boîte à ses pied. Delphie s’exclama, en reconnaissant la forme d’un instrument, « Vous êtes venu jusqu’ici pour jouer du violon? »

Elle se pencha pour ramasser la boîte. Le dessous était trempé. Elle n’en fit pas le commentaire. L’important, c’était qu’ils se mettent au chaud.

La voix rauque de M. Yoon s’éleva. « J’ai perdu la note, » dit-il, sa voix empreinte de mélancolie. La musique avait dû lui rappeler… quoi? Son passé, sa femme? La violence de la pluie dans sa jeunesse, peut-être.

En levant les yeux vers lui, elle vit que dans les sillons sinueux de son visage, des larmes s’échappaient à grosses gouttes.

Au milieu du déluge, M. Yoon avait l’air d’un enfant.

« C'est le temps de rentrer, » dit-elle. Elle ne voulait pas le brusquer. Mais il se faisait tard. 

Ils se mirent en marche. Tous deux au milieu de la tempête, la tête trempée et le coeur plein d'eau.

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Tartaglia | Childe/Ying | Lumine (Genshin Impact) Characters: Ying | Lumine (Genshin Impact), Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Minor Characters Additional Tags: snezhnaya, masquerade au, Carnival, Memories and Angst, Venice Carnival, Easter, Mutual Pining, Or Is It?, Aether is Not The Abyss Prince, no evil twin, Fatui Harbinger Tartaglia | Childe (Genshin Impact), Canon Divergent, Katheryne - Freeform, A Mysterious Commission Brings Lumine to Snezhnaya, friends? to lovers, strangers? to lovers, reconnecting, Angst until I drop, lumine is tired, Proximity and Warmth, Tartaglia is Retired, they both kinda are, Soft your honour, longing for the past, Rebuilding, Not Exes But Worse, Extreme Pining and Denial of Feelings, Fluff and Angst

  Summary:

Somehow it hurt to see him laugh. It reminded her yet again that there were things about him that were not familiar. She thought for a long moment that she wanted to strip him of everything that was simultaneously old and new and foreign and young, until all of it melded together and she wouldn't see the difference: until all that was left of him was the bare porcelain of his soul.

Her eyes dipped down. She almost opened her mouth to chastise him to stuff his hands into his pockets, or else he'd get blisters.

  What was she thinking?

 Without meaning to, she found herself cracking a smile again at this man before her who had tousled hair, rough edges and sparkling eyes.

His hands reached for hers. "Well then, no better time than now to ask you to dance. Shall we?"

Recent > Forum > Club & Events > MMA and Sparring > [new] Looking for a spar

###Looking for a spar

Post #1

*Mon - Sep 1 at 08:03 - Ajax Kazakov wrote:

Second-year transfer student from Snezhnaya here; anyone dtf?

Post #7

*Mon - Sep 1 at 19:12 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

Edited: Down to FIGHT holy heavens

*Mon - Sep 1 at 19:13 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

Stop sending me DMs guys 😭 I just wanna spar

Post #8

*Mon - Sep 1 at 20:59 - Diluc Ragnvindir replied:

No.

*Mon - Sep 1 at 21:02- Ajax Kazakov replied:

Too late.

I'm approaching your location rapidly.

*Mon - Sep 1 at 21:05 - Diluc Ragnvindir replied:

?Try me.

*Mon - Sep 1 at 21:09 - Kaeya Alberich replied:

Help aslkjdlfkjs i gotta join ts

Post #14

*Tue - Sep 2 at 15:03 - Itto Arataki replied:

Mixed MMA clb trains evry tuwsday & Thusrday. Yr welcome to join brother!

*Tue - Sep 2 at 19:04- Ajax Kazakov replied:

Oh, good to know. Thanks mate!

*Tue - Sep 2 at 19:05- Ajax Kazakov replied:

Wait, where is it?

*Tue - Sep 2 at 19:12- Albedo Rhinedottir replied:

W-239-b. Sports complex

*Tue - Sep 2 at 19:15- Ajax Kazakov replied:

Thanks

Post #25

*Tue - Sep 2 at 18:07 - Mavuika Kiongozi replied:

He's about to get destroyed isn't he. Oh well, succession ig

*Tue - Sep 2 at 18:28 - Makoto Ei replied:

lol

*Tue - Sep 2 at 19:01- Ajax Kazakov replied:

Don't worry about me, haha.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 18:07 - Raiden Ei replied:

there is a cutoff, so better lock in, as the youngsters say.

Post #27

*Tue - Sep 2 at 18:07 - Kunikuzushi Ei replied:

Genuine question, are you an incel.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 19:04 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

Genuine question, are you down to fight or not?

*Tue - Sep 2 at 19:13 - Kunikuzushi Ei replied:

Hope your skills are where your mouth is.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 22:59 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

While you were busy typing on your pc, I was getting roughhoused by a hot girl. Who's winning here?

*Tue - Sep 2 at 23:03 - Kunikuzushi Ei replied:

Literally pull up and I'll break your legs in less time than you can beg for mercy.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 23:59 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

. ✦ Chilumi, Genshin college AU, mostly crackfic lol ✦ .

Top > Forum > Updates & Announcements > [new] Read this class of '29!! -- Confessions OPEN 4 all!!!! (modded)

## Confessions corner

Post #1

*Mon - Sep 1 at 01:01 - Yanfei Lau wrote:

Welcome to the confessions thread, class of Sumeru '29!

Post #2

*Mon - Sep 1 at 01:03 - AKASHA system at 08:31 - wrote: Beep, bop! I'm a bot! Remember to keep all discussion respectful in the ##Confessions forum as it is be monitored at any time by college administration.

Post #3

*Mon - Sep 1 Yanfei Lau at 08:30 - wrote:

Welcome all first years;;; Drop your confessions here! School news, events, sports, juicy gossip, relationship updates, teacher slander... anything goes!

Post #4

*Mon - Sep 1 at 14:02 K'uhul Ajaw - wrote:

let's gooo

Post #5

*Mon - Sep 1 at 14:02 Xiangling Mao - wrote:

Anyone have restaurant recs around school?

I'll go first

Wanmin

*Mon - Sep 1 at 14:02 Paimon Vy - replied:

Seconded

Post #6

*Tue - Sep 2 at 08:21 Charlotte Dupont - wrote:

Dorms are so icky… It's literally been three days and I've already found a rat. I think it nibbled on my food. I'm gonna barf

Post #7

*Tue - Sep 2 at 09:30 Sara Kujou - wrote:

Did the rat have a name and if so was it Itto.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 11:28 Charlotte Dupont - wrote:

No unfortunately I didn't see it

Post #8

*Tue - Sep 2 at 12:35 - Ajax Kazakov wrote:

Blonde goddess with short hair and bangs, in ECS-202, always sits second or third row. Wears white but literally so goth and dresses so good omg. Beautiful amber eyes. Writes with muji pens in a green notebook and has perfect elbows. If you're reading this pls hmu. Like, don't be shy, drop your number. I'll even beg like a good boy.

Post #9

*Tue - Sep 2 at 12:39 - Kaedehara Kazuha replied:

Dude, you do know this is your school account, right?

Post #10

*Tue - Sep 2 at 12:59 - Beidou Wang replied:

that was fast

Post #12

*Tue - Sep 2 at 13:01 - Venti RawrwindirXDDD replied:

Holy. It's the second week. Calm down your balls, big fella.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 13:50 - Xingqiu Fei replied:

Excuse me, how did you change your display name?

*Tue - Sep 2 at 13:51 - Venti RawrwindirXDDD replied:

The mysterious powers of the wind, my friend.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 13:59 - Neuvillette Lafontaine replied:

Don't listen to him. He's been a parasite at this school for gods know how long and probably cracked into the uni server at some point.

Post #24

*Tue - Sep 2 at 15:29 - Kunikuzushi Ei replied:

Ask for her number instead of polluting forum space with your dumbass questions.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 15:29 - Cyno Kumar replied:

damn

*Tue - Sep 2 at 16:53 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

She always sits with like ten friends, and leaves the room like 0.1 seconds after class ends. I've tried asking around but everyone just shrugs & says to refer to her brother??Who even is he and why does everyone know him?

*Tue - Sep 2 at 16:54 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

I wish it were as simple as just asking.

*Tue - Sep 2 at 16:54 - Kunikuzushi Ei replied:

…Fucking who asked?

*Tue - Sep 2 at 16:53 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

..?

Post #31

*Tue - Sep 2 at 20:40 - Heizou Incognito replied:

Is there any chance you could find her through your class registry?

*Tue - Sep 2 at 22:09 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

Worth a shot. Thanks!

Post #47

*Wed - Sep 3 at 19:21 - Baizhu Lin replied:

Approaching her in person might yield better results than asking on this forum.

Wed - Sep 3 at 20:42 - Collei Amar replied:

Prof. Lin!????

*Wed - Sep 3 at 20:48 - Cyno Kumar replied:

Prof Lin, can you curve my grade the way I swerve the huzz

*Wed - Sep 3 at 21:06 - Collei Amar replied:

Bro.!?!? Aren't you supposed to be on patrol?

Post #79

*Thu - Sep 4 at 15:35 - Mona Astara replied:

She's my friend, and she says to relay that she's not interested.

*Thu - Sep 4 at 15:40 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

!!!!

Post #151

*Fri - Sep 5 at 02:07 - Kaveh Khalaji replied:

Is bro talking about the new president's sis LMFAO. If so your dead lol.

*Fri - Sep 5 at 04:09 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

ummm ok. Can he fight XD

*Fri - Sep 5 at 02:07 - Kaveh Khalaji replied:

I wouldn't try him. He can deffo knock a guy out if you've ever seen what he looks like.

*Fri - Sep 5 at 02:07 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

I'll take that as a no.

Post #153

*Fri - Sep 5 at 9:10 Ayaka Kamisato - replied:

Other friend here. Can confirm she can fight. Don't think about it.

*Fri - Sep 5 at 15:40 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

*Deleted: Update: *She can fight???? And she's smart??? AND she's single?????? AND her brother's the student gov president??

Post #168

*Mon - Sep 7 at 15:40 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

*Edited: Thanks everyone for your help on this thread. Mystery girl and I went out on a date and prepping for a second

Post #170

*Mon - Sep 7 at 18:37 - Kaedehara Kazuha replied:

Holy pull?!

*Mon - Sep 7 at 21:01 - Ajax Kazakov replied:

nah bro, she pulled me fr

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁Chilumi (hanahaki AU). ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

Dear Lumine,

How does one tell a family member that they are dying?

--The hypothetical speaker, that is. Not the family member.

Why do you ask? No particular reason…just out of the blue…

----------------------------------------------------- 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

"Does that mean I'm going to heaven?"

The doctor gave him a look that meant he had no theological input to offer whatsoever.

Childe let out a sigh. He wanted to curl into a ball and wallow. Nothing. He let out a second sigh, louder this time. The doctor got the message and promptly exited the room.

He'd been useless anyway. This one was the fifth one and they'd all said the same: venom of unknown properties, meds, bedrest. Probably incurable. They couldn't pinpoint his problem or when it'd end. It was like his entire body was decaying.

He thought he might die of boredom first, though. If the venom hadn't been so hard at work, bedrest was sure to be the finishing blow.

He had nothing to do.

The stack of letters on the bedside cabinet stared at him accusingly.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

Dear Tonia,

Just as I was starting to enjoy myself, misery strikes again.

Yes, it is as you imagine it. Lumine finally agreed to start a correspondence with me. Needless to say that I jumped up in joy in Northland Bank and nearly flooded the entire floor in celebration.

So what is the misery in all this, you might ask? Well, simply that the wait kills me as the furnace boils a man alive, and it's almost just as worse as not sending anything at all. I've made the discovery that life seems especially fickle in the crucial moments where one builds up anticipation to visit the mailbox, makes the trip with his heart in his palms; only to return empty-handed on a modicum of disappointment.

At that moment, I assure you I could have died of depression!

I console myself with the knowledge that since she is reading my letters, she must be well. As they say: Le coeur n'as pas d'age… c'est vrai!

After all, she has agreed to receive my letters, not to reply to them.

How is everybody? Still holding out from the winter? Send my kisses to Teucer and mama. And soupy hugs for everyone else.

Your favourite brother, Ajax

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

Dear Lumine,

Yesterday I met on the roof of the hospital a peculiar snake. I attempted to feed it some beans from my hospital lunch kit, but it wanted nothing to do with it. Even the snake warrants a write-up to the nice lunch ladies.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

They'd come and fetch him for dialysis soon. It's actually close to the end. Stuck in Inazuma, left to rot alone. Fitting.

Plus my bed's sagging.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

Dear Lumine,

Every time I think of finishing a letter I end up writing a sentence and stopping midway. I end up gazing out the window, towards the open sea, wishing I could feel the breeze on my face.

You're still in Fontaine, then? In that case, there'd no way we're looking at the same sea right now, huh.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

Dear Lumine,

I've been having more and more trouble breathing. I need a fuzzy blanket, for starters, then some real food. Still no news from anyone back home. I wonder if Inazuma is as strict as they say with their mail? Even outgoing mail?

Damn. I'd be embarrassed if they read the things I write you.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

Dear Lumine,

It is said that when a man writes a letter, it is never truly about the letter.

In this case, you might say that I've come to collect a debt. As is usual in my line of work.

Indeed, we never went on that date we agreed on… remember??

If you don't make fun of me for it, I'll be a good sport next time we spar, too.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I miss you.

Your friend and ally, Childe

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

Dear Lumine,

I am actively dying. The doctors said I'd

Nevermind.

All in all, I think it's rather too early for me to meet the 13th Harbinger.

Come give me a kiss, pretty please?

(He'd let his fantasies take over for that one.)

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

Dear Lumine,

The doctor found all my letters and almost threw them out. I crawled off my stupid, sagging bed and begged him not to.

He probably thinks I'm crazy now.

What's a guy to do but write to his dead girlfriend, huh?

So, yeah.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.𓇼 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𓇼 ׂׂ་༘࿐

My dearest Lumine,

Of course I'll always write you.

If you ask me, everyone, even the dead, deserve letters.

Ajax.

PS. : ) Let's go ice fishing again.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ϟ ⚡︎ ϟ ˖ ݁ 𖥔.Sakura Genjutsu AU.𖥔 ݁ ˖ ϟ ⚡︎ ϟ ˖ ݁ 𖥔.

Pt 1. In which Sakura finds a loophole

“The existence of consciousness is both one of the most familiar and one of the most astounding things about the world."

The words jumped out at her, stalling her reading. It was a simple sentence on a piece of paper, yet it felt to Sakura as if she was uncovering a truth for the first time.

Which came first, the mind or the body?

As she twisted and tossed the thought in her head, a wave of chakra washed over her, tingling at the tips of her fingers, as if reminding her of its existence. Chakra was a shinobi's greatest weapon; yet few had studied enough theory of it to adequately manipulate it. Through the pile of books she had pored over, not one chakra theorist could claim themself to offer any comprehensive theory. It was still one of the mysteries of the world, neither mind nor body, and not quite both.

Could thoughts, attitudes and feelings be reduced to fundamental physical matter? At least two of them did; but what of the former?

In all her long twelve years of life, Sakura Haruno had experienced about multiple instances of dissociation between mind and body.

After all, her affinity and (recent) interest for genjutsu had taught her just how important subjugation of the mind could tilt the tide in battle. A shinobi could overpower their enemy by intercepting communication (and thus rendering the opponent factually blind), or misleading them to think all hope was lost.

Yet, sensor-type training had never been encouraged in her days at the academy, much less taught. Ninjutsu and taijutsu were all the craze.

Another realization hit her head-on, one that was perhaps more fundamental. A thought that had been running at the back of her mind for years: shinobi, who prided themselves on a rather outdated system of honour and duty, had yet to embrace any kind of conjunction at all between mind and body.

Putting significant effort into her training with Lady Tsunade meant that she had to not only physically build up her strength, but also fight daily against exhaustion, pain, failure, and even more so, her vast ignorance. A doctor's battlefield was a never-ending line of tents where knowledge and practical skills were erected as law. Every day, she had learned to push the mental and physical boundaries of her body, until her chakra became not only a physical manifestation of her vital energy, but also an effective, usable vector for her mind.

Yet how many of her classmates, other chunins, had healthy, well-adjusted lives? How many knew basic arithmetic?

She made a point of counting.

Baffling.

Whenever she suggested stress management to her shinobi patients, it was almost always met with a shrug and a face that suggested they definitely were not "considering it".

If anything, history had shown, three great wars and waves of mass psychosis later, that the shinobi world had an aversion to open communication, diplomacy, and work-life balance. Or, at the very least, an aversion to nurturing them with the same level of care put into drilling children to become weapons of mass destruction, all in the namesake of peace.

She kept reading.

"No conception of the natural order that does not reveal [consciousness] as something to be expected can aspire even to the outline of completeness.”

In other words: there was a lot of work to do.

Perhaps the world of shinobi was lacking something fundamental.