Poly Feels

–”haha you have a crush on [friend]. Ahaha you luuuurve her”

–”are these your socks?” “nope” “oh well guess they’re mine now”

–”I’m free on Wednesday and Friday” “I’m only free Thursday” “okay I have two hours free on Thurs” “well I can do Thursday IF I change the washing machine repair hang on…” 

–”is it okay if I stay out tonight?” “please do, I have to be up at seven”

–”hahaha look at these idiots on Tinder, they want a live in maid and childcare…”

–”hahaha look at this doofus on Tinder, I bet he’s a yoga instructor” “did you match with him?” “… yes”

I’m always confused by what the people in the #StandardPolyStockPhoto are DOING and why their feet are always sticking off the bed. So I decided to start writing my own narratives… Website: KimchiCuddles.com

the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love

the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities

the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, you’re either inadequate or they’re too needy

the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else

the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity

the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship

the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on

the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life

A week or so ago, I spoke with a friend who’s also in an open (or maybe just flexible?) relationship. She had some great insights to share, the two biggest ones being:

I) Know that if your partner would leave you, it wouldn’t be because of the open relationship. Your partner chose you for a reason, and still stays with you. It’s worth remembering this, and communication keeps being the most important thing here, too.

II) Doubts stem from your own mind. Unless you have a good reason to think it’s because of your partner, remember that the voices in your head often aren’t there because of your partner; they come from you. And maybe the voices are there to keep you safe - but they also won’t let you be happy if you risk being hurt, either.

Is that a riding crop in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 

Communication

Consent

Reblog if you’re polyamorous/open to polyamory in the future/in a polycule or open to one/interested in polyamory I want to see how many of us there are