first few are manually induced and then a fit of chhinkni snz because i'm torturing myself for a very special reason

Western Pasqueflower

First up we have Pulsatilla occidentalis, also known as the Western Pasqueflower which is a member of the buttercup family found in alpine meadows of western North America. The image on the right is what they look like when they're blooming, but the image on the left? That's actually the plant's dry fruit, or "seeds" (or more specifically, its achenes) which are described in botanical texts as "silky-plumose" or "soft-hairy" or "feathery." At the end of the season this flower has essentially transformed into a tiny, nostril-sized feather duster. Do with that imagery as you please.

Fun fact: Did you notice that even the leaves and stems of this plant are fuzzy? This is an alpine 'insulation' adaptation that allows this species to withstand the harsh conditions of its natural habitat by acting as a kind of 'fur coat' and trapping cold air when the plant is at its most vulnerable growing stage. This trapped air actually results in the surface of the leaves/stems being measurably warmer than the surrounding air.

snzfucker rating: 8.5/10. A solid 7.0 points on account of those feathery fuckers alone, plus a bonus 1.5 points because this is the flower equivalent of a character in a snzfic that gives the cold and sniffly character their jacket to warm them up.

Black Pepper

We all know her. We all love her: Here we have Piper nigrum. The fruit of this South Asian native plant contains a natural chemical known as piperine (yes it is named after the plant) which is believed to be the reason it's sternutatory (aka fancy word for sneeze-causing) in nature. I touch on this in more detail in this post, if you're curious as to the how/why). Curiously, there have been some interesting studies that indicate piperine itself may act as a mast cell stabilizer with anti-inflammatory/anti-allergenic effects. So the thing that makes you sneeze might...help you not sneeze??? Go figure.

Fun aside: I was at dinner with a friend once (and in her defense she was a little bit tipsy) and she turned to me halfway through seasoning her pasta and went "Wait…does pepper come from plant?" I was like: "GIRL….WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD IT BE? IT'S PEPPER!" To which she replied "I DON'T KNOW! A MINERAL? LIKE SALT?" Which honestly, I shut up real quick because, yeah....fair point.

snzfucker rating: Obligatory lifetime service award of 10/10 because she has done so much (and continues to do so much) for our community.

Green Bristlegrass

Green Bristlegrass, or Setaria viridis, belongs to a genus known as the Bristle Grasses. There are over 100 different Setaria species across the globe, which share genetics and thus a similar resemblance. I think I mentioned in this in Vol 1, but honestly...sometimes you just come across a plant that just looks like it was evolved specifically for inducing. This is unequivocally one of them — and I mean, is that not the most tickly-looking mfer you've ever seen??? And the fact that it grows on a tall stem? PLEASE.

Fun fact: Several species of Setaria are considered to be highly invasive in North America, as they can grow rapidly, seed prolifically, and thrive in even the poorest of soil conditions, easily outcompeting other species.

snzfucker rating: 8/10. No notes.

Traveller's Joy

Next up we have Clematis brachiata: yet another flowering plant with seeds that are described as "feathery" and "silky appendages" that disperse in the wind. This plant also has traditional medicinal properties — parts of it can be brewed into a tea to ease cough and cold symptoms, among other ailments. Oh, and I almost forgot (jk, as if): when the fresh stem and tendrils are crushed, it produces a "pungent" scent that is said to clear the sinuses by inducing sneezing. So there you go. "Traveller's Joy?" Nahhh, this plant is a snzfucker's joy.

Fun fact: This plant is native to southern Africa, and it's common name is believed to be an ode to it's many medicinal properties - back in the days when travel was by foot, this plant was a welcome presence, as its crushed leaves were used to relieve aches and pains, blisters and sores.

snzfucker rating: 10/10. Truly a triple threat. Exceptional work on this one, Mother Nature. Exceptional work.

Sneezewood Tree

Did you know there's a tree that causes "violent sneezing" when its wood is sawed or sanded? NOW YOU KNOW!!!! The wood produces a natural oil that contains a chemical called nieshoutol, which has been described as "peppery" and "highly aromatic" and "irritating." Woodworkers who process the wood (either by sawing it or sanding it) are said to be struck with "violent" fits of sneezing. 👀 It has also been traditionally used as a snuff, and as an inhaled medicine to relieve headaches....ifyouknowwhatimean.

Fun fact: The wood of this tree is highly valued for its lumber which is imported across the globe, as it's extremely durable, rot-resistant, and repels insects.

snzfucker rating: 9.5/10. Guys. It's literally called SNEEZEWOOD. Like, hello?????

Spreading Snottygobble

Persoonia elliptica is one of several species of Snottygobbles — and yes, I did choose to specifically feature 'Spreading' Snottygobble, which is named on account of its growth habit (the term 'spreading' in botany generally refers to a plant that grows outward/horizontally as opposed to upright/vertical) and not, as it would suggest, anything to do with contagion.....but yes, we're all thinking it. This is the messfcker of the plant world.

Fun fact: Allegedly, the common name is derived from the mucousy inner flesh of the small green fruits this plant produces, which are evidently so delicious they are eagerly 'gobbled' up when ripe.

snzfucker rating: 6/10 on account of its slightly cursed name. I have nothing respectable to add here.

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