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@polkaparty
ind. semi-sel. fandomless ORIGINAL CHARACTER , based on / a celebration of " weird al " yankovic. varied activity. layered with satire. parodied by CHUCK. a study in : absurdism , comedy , fourth - wall breaking , and the raw , complex intricacies of the very meaning of life as we know it.
est. 12 / 18 / 22 . CARRD.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
i often stare at the people passing by but they can't see me through my window shades . . IT'S LIKE I'M NOT EVEN THERE.
rules . roster . โก and ๐ if you'd like to interact !
i feel like if yanky ever spoke without using exclamation points the world would collapse in on itself and leave behind nothing but bread crumbs
-๐นher laughter returns. she smiles a smile only yanky could ever get from her. there was something so sweet, so genuine, about the way he yearned for her. in turn, there was nothing but genuine love for him. she gently lifts his head to rest it on her lap. ' yes, it was real. and it can be real again, if you want. '
furthering of AFFECTION sends the silly man's brain into a WHIRLWIND of joy and pure EUPHORIA. to yanky , there was absolutely NOTHING on this planet that was nearly as EXCITING and thrilling as the touch of his lover โโ it sent FIRE through his veins , BURNING so hot he wanted to RIP them out of his flesh and knit a sweater for emperatriz [ . . . ] he was COMPLETELY and UTTERLY infatuated. she drove him CRAZIER than a drunken crackheaded chauffeur !! โ oh , PLEASE ! โ he pleaded with BIG , sparkling eyes , CLASPING his hands together. โ won't you make me the HAPPIEST , LUCKIEST man alive !? โ
i've been trying to think of things to post in-between threads for my own balance purposes but im blanking LOL i hope everyone has a blessed week <3 i'm getting a bunch of packages for my wei/rd al collection throughout this week so i'm super excited for that !! are you looking forward to anything !?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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An observant viewer may take notice of the fact that Maxell is clutching his microphone hard enough that the plastic is splintering under his gripโ and hard enough that static-blood is starting to drip from between his fingers. Still, he smiles uncomfortably broadly, of two minds on how to feel about this. On one hand, he's very much flattered! An entire song, just for him! How lovely! (Even if it's about the wrong show. Maybe he can... convince Yanky to change the lyrics around later.)
On the other handโ he's being upstaged on his own show! The attention is supposed to be on him, not the contestants! Or, at least, it's not supposed to be on the contestants until their violent and (hopefully) hilarious deaths. But until then! People should be watching him!
The mic suddenly fractures, static-splattered chunks of plastic and metal dropping to the floor. Not even seeming to take notice, Max places his hands on either side of the accordion and presses it shut. "Hey! How about we save this for after the show, huh?โ (Assuming heโll still be alive once itโs over.) โWe don't want to keep the folks at home waiting too long, right? Right?"
it was certainly not in ANY capacity yanky's INTENTION to show out. did he MEAN to make maxwell angry ( and put on a BETTER SHOW than the established host could ever WISH to ) ?? no , of course not ! was yanky going to COMPLAIN about it ? also no ! hearing himself talk was the accordionist's FIFTH favorite hobby. yanky was the kind of guy that could ENTERTAIN himself for HOURS just talking to himself in the mirror in a dark , isolated room. ( it wouldn't be the first NOR last time that happened ! )
a sudden , AWFUL note plays as the accordion is SLAMMED back together , tearing yanky from his concentration and looking at maxwell with WILD , perplexed eyes. did he NOT LIKE it ?? ..
his disappointment in his curtailed performance is SHORT LIVED though , as he's EAGER to go along with WHATEVER maxwell had planned. โ oh , SURE ! โ and as EASY as that , yanky pulls the accordion off of himself โโ and CHUCKS it over his shoulder. he pays ZERO mind to the CRASHING , SHATTERING , and CAT WAILING that follows the tossing of his precious instrument.
yanky starts PUMPING himself up , FLAILING his arms nonsensically and BOUNCING in place. โ okay. LET'S DO THIS !! you people at home , โ a finger POINTS directly to a camera , LEANING towards maxwell and WRAPPING an arm around his shoulders. โ hold onto your SOCKS ! LOCK your windows ! ENGAGE in your earthquake safety protocols , and PREPARE yourselves for an episode so AWESOME , that it's gonna ROCK YOUR WORLD !! โ with a big , dorky grin โโ yanky looks to the host. โ what's FIRST , maxy !? โ
"Oh, gosh-," was all Johnnie could say before he was yanked into the hug. He didn't bother to struggle out of it, instead forcing a smile and hoping that he could make it through this extremely odd interaction. He had a gut feeling it wouldn't end anytime soon.
"My hat?" He asks, puzzled, before he realizes just what exactly his 'best friend' was speaking about. "OH, UM!" He exclaims, trying to think up a good excuse that would fit this guy's style. "I'd rather you not because...because I have a bald spot there and it would be super embarrassing to me if anyone saw it! I'm trying by best to cover it up, you see! And no regular hat would do, I have particular tastes."
as his new BEST FRIEND had given his explanation , his smile FELL briefly โโ โ a BALD SPOT ? [ . . . ] โ yanky questioned nearly SKEPTICALLY , squinting his eyes at johnnie and staring .. and STARING .. and after what seemed like a few too many awkward seconds โโ he GRINNED again. โ COOL ! hey , don't tell anybody .. but .. I'VE got one too ! โ and like that , the moron stepped back and flipped his head and hair forward , peeling back the CURLY MASS to reveal an oddly shiny bald spot right on the BACK of his skull.
and he stood normally , SMILING up a storm. โ we have SO much in common already ! โ delirious with EXCITEMENT , yanky LAUGHED a bit too hard , bouncing on his heels. โ you should show off your BALDNESS more. i heard on DISCOVERY that , get this : male baldness patterns are actually an EVOLUTIONARY TRAIT we have to attract LOVERS ! our brains are wired to think shiny , naked heads are SEXY. why would you hide yours !? think of all the BABES !! โ
Ernest has to bite his tongue before asking a question that would seriously make him look crazy. No, they couldn't have made another clone, right?
"So, it's not just me seeing double!" He decides to joke instead, shaking his head. โIโm about as evil as a bologna sandwich, I wouldnโt hurt a fly! But how do I know youโre not evil? Youโre not trying to reverse psychology me, are you?โ He lifts an eyebrow, crossing his arms for dramatic effect.
Usually, he believed in coincidencesโฆ but this one was far too strange!
โ me !? EVIL !? " completely SHOCKED someone would ever even CONSIDER something like that , his jaw DROPS. โ how can i ' reverse psychology ' you if i don't even know what that IS ? huh ?? HUH !?! YOU MADE THAT UP , DIDN'T YOU !?? โ yanky YELLS in growing , blind panic , LEANING right into the other's eerily familiar face.
โ you don't even have PINK AND YELLOW HAIR !! yours is BROWN and BORING ! seems pretty evil if you ask ME. โ a smile CREEPS across the lunatic's face โโ nodding slowly in a way that says ' i've got you NOW ! ' โ yeah , i bet you don't even own a copy of TITANIC on VHS ! โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ " yanky, " โ โ she says in a stern voice, like that of a mother preparing to scold a child,โ โ " i dismember and cut open people as, like, an extracurricular activity. i know what human insides look like and it's not that! "โ โ duh, ava says in her head,โ โ " and besides, ignoring however they'd get it, it would smell, like... really bad under those hot movie lights. "
โ NUH - UH ! โ comes the childish WHINE from the childish man. his pea - sized brain was already short circuiting from trying to COMPREHEND something new โโ and the usage of BIG , smart words like ' extracurricular ' WASN'T helping his case. โ you don't know what you're TALKING about , missy !! it's all real because [ . . . ] because it HAS to be ! the television NEVER lies ! โ
what if icarus hadn't hurled into the sea? what if he had inherited his fathers inventive bent? what might have he wrought? he did hurtle into the sea, of course. but in the tricky reverse narration that impala our entwined stories,
he was there to catch me me when i lept.
xxx
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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real yanky behavior ( do not reblog. )
haaaayyy will try writing over the weekenddd <3 how's everyone been
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ย
from this generator.
โ close your eyes and hold out your hands. โ โ what are you smiling at? โ โ i canโt leave you alone for one minute, can i? โ โ was it you? did you do all this? โ โ i donโt know how you do this every dayโฆ โ โ that is not an appropriate question to ask a lady youโve just met. โ โ iโm not sorry. โ โ i did warn you not to trust me. โ โ do you remember anything? at all? โ โ youโre lucky youโre cute. โ โ why donโt you just kill me? โ โ did you hurt yourself? โ โ i could show you the way. โ โ i donโt feel so good. โ โ you owe me a dinner. a very nice dinner. โ โ donโt go. please. โ โ you wanna know what your problem is? โ โ iโm here to drink alone. โ โ donโt run away from this. โ โ iโm just saying, murder is an option. โ โ i didnโt realize you were in so much pain. โ โ i guess it runs in the family, huh? โ โ you wouldnโt understand. โ โ weโve been through a lot. i think we should just lay low and take it easy. โ โ dangerous to be out so late. โ โ i hope you havenโt been standing out in the cold this whole time. โ โ i made a mistake. โ โ am i not good enough? โ โ iโm going to get you out of here. โ โ why did you bring me here? โ โ arenโt we in a good mood today? โ โ donโt shut me out. please. โ โ the stormโs getting worse. โ โ i never meant to hurt you. โ โ youโre about as intimidating as a butterfly. โ โ have you come to laugh at me in my miserable state? โ โ here, take this. youโll catch a cold. โ โ this is the part where you leave. โ โ why are you talking like weโll never see each other again? โ โ you stepped on my foot! โ โ youโre not a very convincing liar. โ โ weโre in completely different leagues. โ โ how did you find me? โ โ i donโt need you anymore. โ โ rough day today? โ โ snap out of it! โ โ you look better in my clothes than i do. โ โ why are you still here? โ โ can i askโฆ what happened? โ โ are you saying you care about me? โ โ i wonโt let anyone hurt you. โ โ itโs not stealing if it was mine to begin with. โ โ well, this is where i live. โ โ weโre not so different after all. โ โ how long have i been asleep? โ โ no more lies, no more secrets. โ โ can you forgive me? โ โ i thought youโฆ i saw you get shot. โ โ why are you really here? โ โ i wish we never met. โ โ you look like you need a hug. โ โ would you run away with me? โ โ see? iโm not just a pretty face. โ โ we can stop them. i can help you. โ โ what now? iโm tired. โ โ i didnโt want you to see me like this. โ โ i canโt do this without you. โ โ if you tell me yours, iโll tell you mine. โ โ are you threatening me? โ โ did you ever care about me? โ โ treat me like the princess that i am! โ โ iโm not leaving you. โ โ why did you come? โ โ i need your helpโฆ and you need mine. โ โ i wish i could hate you. โ โ i see you donโt recognize me. well, it was a long time ago. โ โ youโve lost a lot of blood. โ โ i had my suspicions, but until now i wasnโt sure. โ โ thereโs nothing left for me here. โ โ that isโฆ literally illegal. youโre describing something illegal. โ โ wait. iโve heard that sound before. โ โ just try to hang on. โ โ so whyโs it so important anyway? โ โ iโll stay in tonight, thanks. โ โ we canโt keep going on like this. โ โ in about a minute, youโll be sorry you didnโt listen to me. โ โ is this seat taken? sorry, itโs a bit crowded here. โ โ you canโt leave me here alone! โ โ iโll believe it when i see it. โ โ why are you laughing? this is a very serious situation. โ โ i bought two. here. โ โ iโve seen you before, walking by. โ โ why canโt i come with you? โ โ c'mon. arenโt you worried what might happen if we go? โ โ walk with me? โ โ itโs very rude to stare. โ โ how many times have i told you? you canโt visit me here. โ โ we canโt fix this. can we? โ โ are you going to kill me? โ โ itโs not like you can stop me. โ โ itโs not safe for people to see us together. โ โ take me with you. โ โ some risks are worth taking. โ โ let them go. take me instead. โ โ what do you want in exchange for it? โ โ is being drunk an excuse? โ โ promise me you wonโt overreact. โ โ how can i possibly trust you? after all youโve done. โ โ how long have you been standing there? โ โ why did you wake me? โ โ iโm not here to talk about my feelings. โ โ you were going to leave without saying goodbye? โ โ for some reason, iโm attracted to you. โ โ promise me? โ โ itโs nothing, iโm just tired. โ โ i feel safe with you. โ โ i donโt need your help. โ โ i think i have a bit more experience with this thing than you do. โ โ no way, iโm not doing that. โ โ i do care. โ โ you snore in your sleep. itโs adorable. โ โ i have a spare bed. โ โ youโre very kind. some day itโll get you killed. โ โ youโll always have a home with me. โ โ of course i care. youโre my family. โ โ you shouldnโt insult people that are bigger than you. โ โ i never wanted to hurt you. โ โ i swear it wasnโt me. โ โ we can just sit here, you donโt have to talk. โ โ did you miss me? โ โ this isnโt just about you. itโs about whatโs best for all of us. โ โ you can never admit when youโre wrong! โ โ is this what you wanted? โ โ what are you doing out here by yourself? โ โ sorry to put you through that. i guess i owe you one now. โ โ the only time you talk to me is when you need something. โ โ iโm still learning. โ โ if you have something to say, spit it out. โ โ youโฆ donโt like me very much, do you? โ โ iโm on your side. โ โ i risked my life for you! โ โ whatever youโre going to ask, the answer is no. โ โ you can stay with me. โ โ i just need time. โ โ please donโt do this, donโt act like you care. โ โ who the hell invited you? โ โ what? no witty remark? nothing clever to say? โ โ i just wanted to say iโm sorry. โ โ think of it as a compliment. โ โ do you ever stop being so serious and dull? โ โ itโs rare to see your kind around here. โ โ you remember me. thatโs good. โ โ youโre a terrible flirt you know. โ โ are you kidding me? weโre not โfineโ! โ โ right now i wish i was dead. โ โ i guess i shouldโve told you. โ โ youโre not alone. iโm here. โ โ youโve been so quiet. whatโs on your mind? โ โ knowledge is power. โ โ you scared me. โ โ well, whatโs so strange about that? โ โ donโt look at me like that. โ โ i want to be there when you get whatโs coming to you. โ โ just who do you think you are? โ โ you lookโฆ amazing. โ โ weโre safe, arenโt we? โ โ you know, i really hoped iโd never see this place again. โ โ donโt touch me. get away from me. โ โ i thought youโd like this. โ โ itโs too dark, i canโt see anything. โ โ whatโs that smug look for? you think you can do any better? โ โ who did you piss off this time? โ โ you shouldโve thought about that before you got into a fight. โ โ i only wanted to help. โ โ you knew and you didnโt tell me? โ โ you donโt scare me. โ โ wow, look who remembered my existence. โ โ change isnโt easy. โ โ why did you help me? โ โ why do you hate me? โ โ i canโt even trust myself anymore. โ โ i was making sure you werenโt dead, since you never called. โ โ you look awful. what happened? โ โ are you here to kill me? โ โ you know you arenโt allowed in here, right? โ โ was that a friend of yours? โ โ two years later and you havenโt changed. โ โ you look like you just saw a ghost. โ โ nobody tells me what to do. โ โ youโre too scared to do it, arenโt you? โ โ come on. it canโt be that bad. โ โ i hope to repay your kindness someday. โ โ just let me do this for you. โ โ why were they coming after you? โ โ how many people have you killed? how many? โ โ how much do you value your life? โ โ you donโt know when to give up, do you? โ โ donโt lie to me. โ โ iโm not sober enough to talk about this. โ โ have a drink with me. โ
an interesting topic of discussion: how yanky PERCEIVES the world around him. like , literally how he SEES things. he has a lot of problems with his brain , so he suffers from major hallucinations .. and because of this and being so unchecked for so long , they've only gotten WORSE with time. not only does he see and hear things that aren't there , but the very world around him is WARPED. faces , places , things , colors , they're all wrong. it's hard to describe how he sees things , but i can at least TRY to show you. he doesn't see people the way they really exist. he can only perceive a twisted , deformed , shrimp - colored version of them. he doesn't know where to look , making his eye contact/movement erratic. things around him are always in motion and out of place , but even if it's so strange , he's lived with it for so long , so it's basically become normalcy to him.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch โข No registration required โข HD streaming
in no particular order: my personal favorites from lights, camera, accordion ๐ช (1/3)
- ๐น a laugh fills the air as she watches him be the goofy and crazy man that he is. emperatriz gets on her knees next to his puddle of a corpse. gently, she scratches his head. ' you okay, amor? '
at the soothing SCRATCHING at his scalp , yanky GROANS as he comes to from fainting โโ ADJUSTING his glasses wearily. โ ooohhh .. i just had the CRAZIEST dream .. i was kissed [ ... ] by some sort of GODDESS !! .. โ then , he opens his eyes , looking up at emperatriz HOVERING at his side. he GASPS ! โ WAS IT REAL AFTER ALL !? โ
