Will you come and wake me up?

everything can be improved by lesbianism

I open tumblr, I press my stupid little reblog button 20x, I disappear.

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

One time i tried to explain this to someone at a party and i stopped in the middle of it because i realized how stupid i was sounding

i think people are starting to forget what the LA in LARP means

*nodding sagely* Los Angeles Role Play

okay gang lets find that son of a bitch markiplier

Instead of an air fryer consider: sex reassignment surgery

How am I gonna cook these chicken nuggets

Why don't you ask my new vagina...

girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach

Moral of The Story: What?