Punny Gurl

To say that I am exhausted and heartsick and furious about the ever-worsening crisis of stray, feral, abandoned, and free-roaming cats and kittens in the United States would be a vast understatement. We are so far beyond the breaking point in this country where cats and their welfare is concerned, and we need to stop pretending we can TNR and adopt our way out of it. The "no kill" movement is a miserable failure that has shifted the burden of managing unwanted pets onto a general public that is not prepared to shoulder it, thereby increasing abandonment, and TNR is a band aid on a bullet wound that ultimately still leads to cats suffering and dying on a mind boggling scale (not to mention the environmental impact).

I don't know what the answer is, but I know at least part of it is something no one wants to talk about: the prospect of resuming shelter euthanasia as a form of population control, because there ARE fates far worse than never waking up, and I watch cats suffer them every single day. I also think we need a massive cultural shift and the legislation and funding to support it: widespread, affordable, accessible spay and neuter; spay abort for every shelter and rescue intake; penalties for abandonment; restrictions on free roaming animals; restrictions on intact cats; regulation of rescue organizations to discourage warehousing and hoarding, etc.

I don't see any of that happening with the current direction of rescue culture or cat ownership culture in the US. In fact, I bet a fair number of people reading this post will think I am monstrous and come after me in the comments (spoiler alert: I'm not responding) for daring to suggest solutions like spay abort and euthanasia for population control. I don't care. If you have a better solution than I've arrived after decades in rescue, then by all means, I will pass you the torch and you can start your new organization with this kitten for your first intake, because I'm supposed to be closed. But how could I look at an abandoned animal in obvious danger and say, "Sorry, kid, I'm out of the game?"

This tiny kitten was screaming on the curb near my workplace at 9pm last night, its sibling dead in the road a few yards away. He is friendly and affectionate, so not born to a feral mom; someone dumped them there. He is so flea covered he is anemic. I have no idea what I'm going to do with him, because I still have 4 kittens (who are now cats) from last year that proved impossible to place, and our local shelters and rescues are turning away intakes because they are out of space. If I try to surrender him, they'll offer the same "solution" they do the general public: TNR. Then he'll be back out in the elements getting parasitized to death and at risk of being hit by a car or torn apart by roaming dogs (which are also a big problem here). The colony cats in my town are lucky to make it a year even when they are being "managed."

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

those "boundaries" get us murdered lol. trans women who can't access women's shelters or other forms of housing because of cis women's "boundaries" are left on the streets to be assaulted and murdered

From pics community on reddit

You can fight ICE by annoying them

Mess up their food/drink orders- Lose their tickets/reservations

Overtighten lug nuts, strip spark plugs

Give them incorrect but real-sounding information

Record them with your phones

Disrupt them with loud noises (car alarms, music, banging metal) and bright lights (flashlights, headlights)

Shame them

(fuck yeah)

The fascists want complacency.

Do not give it to them.

(fuck them white supremacists )

In light of some of the many things happening across the world this year, I thought this Pride Month needed a special illustration.

a lot of people are giving examples in the notes of things they just find annoying like not using headphones in public, but OP is talking about actual literal scripts of things to say in awkward situations

if you have a date or two with someone and you don't see a relationship developing? most millennials / gen Zers just end up ghosting. but a social script that might have been taught and rehearsed in the past could be:

"I really appreciated getting dinner with you the other night and I enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark. I wish you the best, and hope you find that special someone!"

Remember things about your friends! Ask people about their weekends, hobbies, holidays, studies, and jobs! Listen for the concerns people have and what they are working on! Draw connections between one person and another to get the ball rolling. "Oh, Maura, you just got your first cat! You should talk to Felix, he used to work at a rescue. Felix, please tell Maura all the new-cat-guardian pointers."

"Bill, Sheila, Xan, this is my friend Kale. Kale is really into Star Trek, Bill you and them should talk about it!"

If you're looking for a manual on these sorts of things; social etiquette, social scripts, how to handle difficult and/or awkward social situations, etc. then I highly recommend picking up any book by Miss Manners. Her books really are the gold standard for learning the types of skills this post is talking about. I should also mention that Miss Manners is witty and hilarious so her books are also fun to read.

The best book by Miss Manners to get started with would be Miss Manner's Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. This one is probably the best starting point because it gives the best overview of all the basics.

Sorry @darlingdear but I couldn't let this stay in the tags.

I say this as someone who is neurodivergent had grew up very socially awkward, but recently I find the "screw small talk, I wanna get to know the REAL you" attitude to be pretentious as well as a demonstration of a lack of boundaries.

But also, I think a lot of people who have this attitude don't actually really know what does qualify as small talk. The definition of small talk is any topic that's of no real consequence and includes topics like food, pets, sports, music, whatever show you're currently streaming, whatever book you're currently reading, and yes, the weather. A lot of people who have this "I hate small talk / I don't do small talk" attitude probably think it's only reciting a bunch of secret scripts about the weather, and don't realize how much they engage in small talk whenever they talk about their pets or their favorite foods or the really cool show they're watching right now.

Small talk is a way of sounding out a person’s attitudes. It’s about finding out if they’re a rabid asshole or someone you want to spend more time with.

I had a professor who got angry at a group of (mostly women), from five countries, all of whom met yesterday, for talking about daytime TV. He basically insulted us and called us shallow.

It's not just the fact that this book is perfect for those of us who are neurodivergent, who can really benefit from having a book which kindly and patiently bothers to explain social rules and norms that people just expect you to know without ever telling you themselves.

It's also the fact that, despite this book being nearly 45 years old, Miss Manners makes it clear in the preface and opening chapters that she is explicitly against classism, sexism, and homophobia. She also makes it explicitly clear in the preface that her personal belief in the importance of good manners and etiquette has nothing to do with a desire to return to "the good old days", because those days were not actually good for women, LGBTQ+ people, poor people, and people of color.

What really made me re-fall in love with Miss Manners though was right in the opening chapter she addresses using sexualized threats and insults to debase and degrade others (you know, like "get fcked", or "suck my genitals", or "yeah well that's not what your mom / sister / other female family member had to say last night") because if sex is something that's supposed to be good and pleasurable, why are we using it as a threat to debase and degrade others? Honestly I love her so much for calling out the inherent sex-negativity of using sexualized threats and insults like that, and nearly 45 years ago at that!