Exterminate My Bones

chaotic dumbass

I nearly spit out my fucking drink.

I have tears literally everywhere I haven’t laughed this hard in so long. Who thought of this, I want to marry them and shake their hands 

“So, Mister…GRAAAAGH Underhill-by-Sackville, is it?” “Indeed.” “You’re an Orc, but you don’t mention any clan….” “Oh, I’m culturally Hobbitish, I was adopted at a very young age.  And I’m very keen on this position you have open at your trading house.” “The guard position?” “Heavens, no.  I barely know which end of a sword goes into the miscreant.  I am a certified accountant, and eager to make my mark in respectable society.”

I want to read about the Halfling who was responsible for Recent Events, personally.

if you must know, her name is Tabitha Smallburrow and over a handful of years she adopted 3 orcs, 2 tieflings, 7 tabaxi (had mistaken them for a litter of kittens when they were put up for adoption in the neighboring city) and finally one very unwilling and fully grown dwarf

Now I want to see a DnD campaign where at least half the players are siblings by adoption and none of them are the same race.

“The cause of the duel is reputed to be an argument over arrangements for the Vienna Musical and Theatrical Exhibition.” - I like these ladies.