& stay not a grown up

are you a finger guns bisexual or an awkward thumbs up bisexual

everyone keeps saying “both” and I suddenly feel regretful I asked a bunch of bisexuals to make a choice

“, bones reveal” is killing me

i was in a thrift shop the other day and they were playing the most unsettling variations of normal christmas music, culminating in this rendition of the 12 days of christmas except it was like 12 guys all singing over each other and going “no!” and interrupting the lyrics with random other phrases until they deadass just started singing 5 golden rings to toto’s africa. can anyone confirm that this is a real song and not that i stroked so hard i astral projected into a universe where everything is somehow worse than it is here

this is what my anxiety attacks sound like

Oh I needed this laugh this evening. Thank you so much.

A king has no sons, no daughters, and no queen. For this reason he must decide who will take the throne after he dies. To do this he decides that he will give all of the children of the kingdom a single seed. Whichever child has the largest, most beautiful plant will earn the throne; this being a metaphor for the kingdom. At the end of the contest all of the children came to the palace with their enormous and beautiful plants in hand. After he looks at all of the children’s pots, he finally decides that the little girl with an empty pot will be the next Queen. Why did he choose this little girl over all of the other children with their beautiful plants.

The seeds were all dead (burned, fake, etc.).  The other kids cheated and got different seeds and planted them.  The little girl didn’t cheat and was not able to grow anything because the seed was dead.  She was the only one who didn’t cheat.

damn

Nothing like original fairy tales! 

Did Lord Vetinari write that post?

Either Havelock Vetinari, or his second cousin once removed, Niccolo Machiavelli.

do you take constructive criticism?

did da vinci take criticism on the fucking cistine chapel let them speeak

you know i was gonna say that the post is good but this reply had such raw power that i died as soon as i saw it. this is my ghost’s attempt to make contact from the other side

anyways i dont wanna see m*lanie m*rtinez on my dash ever again because she is literally a fucking rapist

update: melanie admitted that this story was true

and she didn’t even actually apologize? “she never actually said no…” that is not an apology an apology is showing remorse not vindicating yourself from your wrongdoing. there were many ways the victim said no, she just may not have said it verbally.