what, like its hard?

David didn’t expect her to come with any less than a dramatic hair flip and maybe a long skirt for swirling emphasis; he left the door open for this exact moment, and as she entered he shut the door behind her. Quite frankly, he would have been surprised for her to not talk. He’d never tell her, but his strategy for talking to her if they’d met before would be the exact same as his method for Radish: silence. 

He smiled a bit when she asked if he was happy. “Big question,” he answered, his voice intentionally darkening with drama. “Are any of us happy?”

Chuckling, David sat facing backwards on his sofa, looking at the mess Cat was making behind it on the dining room table. He used the time getting comfortable to survey her attitude right now. “He told me that he upset you. You know that means I have to check in.”

At his first question back to her, she shifted her weight onto one hip, pursed lips twisting up into a smirk. “Oh far from it.” she replied, watching him move to the couch. Turning back around, she went to work sorting out the materials she dumped on  the table, flipping open her sketchbook to an incomplete design. She hated the fact that after he had said everything to her, after he went and cut the strings between them, he asked David to ‘check on her’. 

players: kitty and @dcvcid​

Cat slammed her comm device down on the table, letting out a groan. If he was going to insist on either finding her or her going over, then she’d just take everything she had been working on with her. The closer she got to his place, she realized the door was left propped open. Which was good, she could dramatically stomp into his house without having to wait, which would have interfered with her path of frustration. Kitty let her heels on the steps of of his porch be enough of a warning before she slipped in through the entrance dropping sketchbooks, pencils, fabric, a pin cushion, and scissors on his dining table.

No. Every part of him wanted to scream out the words.

To pull her back into his arms and tell Cat he was sorry; sorry for hurting her. Sorry, for making her take care of him for so long, for making her worry about him. Garrison wanted to tell her how much he loved her. Her strength and her tenacity, her loyalty to people she cared about. How good and strong and beautiful she was.

But what good was that?

She was someone that deserved more then just his words. Cat deserved to be shown all those things through action. Something he hadn’t been doing as of late, somthing he couldn’t do… not yet. There was so much guilt in his heart and fear. Fear was the biggest thing, because he still saw Charlotte. In his dreams, in his waking moments. He still saw her, still heard her voice. As much as he loved Cat, and wanted to be with her. Garrison couldn’t because he hadn’t let go of Char, at least, not yet.

Complicating matters was his drinking problem and it was a melting pot of disaster. And that was the last thing he wanted to leave at her door step; a pile of shit that he made for himself. Expecting Cat to clean it up and make it better.

He had to do that on his own. Before he could even think about a future with Cat.

Was there a better way? Maybe, but not one that wouldn’t leave Cat thinking she could help some how. She would stick with him, and as much as he wanted her help, and wanted her by his side. Garrison didn’t want her to stop living because she was taking care of him. He wanted them to take care of each other, as partners together. He just prayed that it wouldn’t be to late.

It was a bad idea, but even that thought didn’t stop him. Gently brushing her hair back away from her cheek. tucking it behind her ear, fingers linger along her jawline as he tilted her head to look at him. “ For now, I think it’s for the best, love.”

Her body tensed and she pulled away from his touch, her hand catching his wrist and pulling his hand away. Lowering her head slightly she set his hand on his stomach, hesitating before patting the back of his palm lightly. Her voice was quiet but she was sure he could hear her, “Please don’t call me love.”

None of it was fair. Whatever ‘fair’ meant anymore. As if anything in their life was fair after being trapped in a goddamn video game. If life had been fair to her, her parents would still be alive and she’d have a full family and not whatever broken construct she’s made out of a sibling she raised and her ex. The longer they sat there, the less sad she felt and the more anger filled her. Everything that ever had a chance at being good in her life, she lost or ruined. How King Midas of her. 

Hot tears continued to roll down her cheeks, Cat not able to wipe them away fast enough to keep her face dry. She stood up, shaking her head and quietly laughing to herself. Of course this would happen to her. All she was doing was being nice to someone she loved, all she wanted to do was be there for them and help them when they needed it the most. She let countless nights of stress build up because she didn’t want him to worry about her all for him to just throw her to the side like he did with the vase. Letting out a sigh, she looked at him again, opening her mouth to speak but stops, “Whatever.” 

Cat stuck her hands out in a ‘stop, don’t’ manner before turning around, still feeling the heavy presence of their tension behind her. This time she stepped through the glass, letting it crunch beneath her heels. She waited for the door to completely shut behind her before leaning against the wall next to it, half listening to the room behind her and trying to let whatever emotions she was feeling settle. Knowing she was far past the point of controlling them, Cat gave up and headed towards the hospital exit. 

kitty: i AM fine

d3v0id: i know he said something to you, kitty

d3v0id: don't make me go find you at circus hq

kitty: that's kind of how a conversation works

kitty: i'm fine

d3v0id: do you want to come over?

kitty: oh that's cool

kitty: i'm uh.. working on some design i have

He looked at her in amazement, wondering how women could be so focused and so unperturbed by such things. Matt was still buffering. Was Cat so worried that she’d forgotten the past few years they endured completely? The things that had led up to arguments and tears in their old apartment a world away? He’d been so different then, it felt like it had all happened to another person. But feeling her so close and, not a moment ago, kissing her - it was as though no time had passed at all. How could that be?

“No, I’m fine,” he repeated automatically, a reflex. Her laugh seemed to bring him back quicker than his own mind. The sound of it had always been a comfort and something that automatically had his lips twitching upward. The specter of a smile that he conjured up was barely noticeable though, and just as sudden and unsubstantial as it arrived, it faded away among all his confusion. 

“I was with the guild and some other people. Discussing the fight, I-” Why did he feel so obliged to explain himself now? “Lina, I’m not about to leave you here on you’re own. Didn’t I promise that?” Matt smiled again - more conscious than before. Still, it disappeared before he spoke again. He rarely called her Lina nowadays and he was just noting that. “What’s all this? Is something going on?”

Cat could feel a little bit of heat in her face at the use of his old nickname, missing the way it sound coming from him. She watched the smile hint at his lips twice, almost wanting to keep talking to see if she could get it to happen, witness something she hadn’t truly seen in years, but his question brought her back to real time.

Her eyes left his face while she smoothed out the clothing covering his shoulders before pulling them back to herself, suddenly very invested with the nail polish that coated her nails. “Um I...” Although she tried to answer his question, the right words weren’t coming to her. Looking back up at him, she spoke slowly, carefully thinking of her words before she said them. “I chose you. You are my family. There are other people, sure but if.. or when we get out of here? I only have you and my brother that I’m certain of.” It wasn’t that she doubted everyone else, but who’s to say they were going to remember all if any of this? With the people she cared most about in the world being across the Atlantic, she couldn’t guarantee that when this was all over and done with she’d have them on her side anymore. With a shake of her head she added on, “and I can’t do this without you.”

She was fully aware that the two of them were still standing in the hallway of their HQ, that anyone from Circus could pass by and see and hear everything being said, but it wasn’t a priority in her mind. Taking his face in her hands, Cat locked her eyes on his. Following her impulses, she stepped in closer, leaving minimal space between them now. “I’m going to kiss you again because that was really nice.. If you’re okay with that.” She waited for a no or for him to step back and stop her but it never came, so slowly, she leaned in a kissed him again, much less rushed this time.

Rom didn’t venture out into dangerous boss battles for the glory of the front lines, nor the satisfaction of knowing you helped unlock a new floor. No, he put his life on the line for the sheer adrenaline rush and the feeling of getting completely lost in a frenzy. For that short moment, it was as if all in Matt’s mind cleared. He could stop worrying about anything except sticking his doubled bladed spear into the nearest enemy and watching with glee as they pixelated into shards. By the time it was all over, Rom was covered in grime and gore but sauntering with a smirk on his lips. Cat wasn’t in the midst of the battle so he didn’t have to think about her safety but he’d checked his friend’s list just in case. It was a good habit to make sure that no one that actually mattered was missing. 

Then it took him a little longer than usual to make it back. He’d lost track of time bragging and joking with some of the other Circus members and info brokers that he knew; chatting about the loot and XP points and predictions about the new floor. He hadn’t even considered anyone out there would be worrying for him or that Cat was pacing around waiting for him to appear to her in one piece.

When he finally did, Rom opened his mouth to greet Cat but the look on her face and the way she rushed at him gave him pause. Suddenly her lips were pressed urgently against his and her arms tight around him. He hadn’t had time to register what was happening, only time to hold her and balance himself before she’d pulled away. Eyes wide, face pale and breathless, Rom stilled into her embrace. What was that? What was that? Holy shit, what the hell was that? “Of course I’m fine,” he said weakly and absentmindedly, heart thundering. It’d been years since Matt had last been kissed by Cat and his mind threatened to stall while he tried to make sense of what had happened and what he was feeling. As she pulled away, he looked at her with slightly widened eyes.

Cat held him tightly for another second, hands gripping his jacket tightly. Even though everything was tecchnically digital, the solid feeling of his torso against her fingertips brought some sense of comfort. She hadn’t yet deciphered if what he was covered with was his or everyone else’s, but noted he was walking and that he didn’t seem to wince when she hugged him. So far, he was better than everyone else she cared enough to check up on. It slowly processed while she was hugging him that she had just kissed him for the first time in three years and she’s not quite certain what the feeling in the pit of her stomach is. Pulling back, her hands rest on his shoulders, eyes searching his face, trying to read his expression.

“You weren’t hurt at all?” Her words were quiet, slightly hesitant. Cat’s best plan right now was to stick to talking about the boss battle and where he had been, giving them an easy way to avoid what just happened. Talking about it now definitely felt like it was going to be a bad idea, because he was going to ask questions she didn’t have the answer to. Letting out a breathy, relieved laugh she kept rambling out questions. “Where were you? Why- why did it take you so long to get back here?” 

players: alchemy & OPEN location: literally anywhere 

          “quick – e.t., yes or no?” i wish there was a reason that she was asking the player that probably (or, definitely) was just looking to mind their own business other than; “i want to know if i can trust you if one of the next bosses is an alien. and, like, i’m not saying it’s probably going to happen, but i am a psychic. i took a course. i have a certificate. so make of that what you will.”

the voice coming from beside her broke her focus off some sort of shiny material on the table in front of her. kitty turned to the blonde, a bit of confusion registered across her face. “wait like.. from the movie?” she asked. despite the players guild affiliation, the more she spoke, the more kitty seemed to like her. “that’s honestly kinda really cool. but what does e.t. have to do with the next boss- oh.” 

He hated seeing her cry, what was worse. Garrison hated it because he knew that he was the cause of it. That he was hurting her and making her worry. It was just a habit now, pulling Cat closer as the tears poured out of her. Garrison couldn’t not hold her when she was like this. It was going to make things harder later but he didn’t care. All he wanted to do was to soothe her to help her. Like all those times she had helped in the last few months.

“I don’t know,” he whispered against the crown of her head. Arms wrapped comfortingly around her. The truth was, he hadn’t started drinking until after the fight. When he thought the other raptors would suddenly hop out and finish him off. “ The point is nothing worse happened, and I’m going to be fine.”

Was he? Nothing about his actions so far we’re fine, In fact, they were far from fine. If he continued on this path; Garrison didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone. He wouldn’t make it to the end of this game. Maybe that was for the best. Giving all of the people he cared about a clean break of him. They would be better off, Cat would be better off.

Garrison didn’t notice the tears that started to stain his cheeks, as he said the next words. “You don’t need someone like me Cat. You need someone you can count on. Who isn’t a fucking worthless…” his breath hitched. Taking a deep breath before continuing. “ You’d be better without me,” he said the words confidently because he really did believe that she would be better without him. That she could live her life without him. She had done it once already hadn’t she? Cat was strong enough, it was Garrison that wasn’t strong enough. The love he felt would never go away. He knew this now, but right now. He wasn’t good for her. A thought that plagued him during his forced sobriety.  Plaguing him because Garrison wasn’t ready to accept Charlott’s death, wasn’t ready to stop masking his fears with booze and sex. Pushing her away, Garrison gently wiped away the tears on her cheek.

“ I don’t want you here, I don’t need you here.” Saying the words even as they broke in the back of his throat. He said them anyway because he needed her to get away from him. To realize that he was no good. “Get out of here.

” Get out of here before I ruin you too.

When he pulled her into his chest, full sobs racked her body. That moment was all she wanted for months. To feel like he was fully there, not heavy with alcohol, hands holding her the way they had before. She listened to his words, head dipped into his chest. Despite him reassuring her that he was fine, she had a hard time believing it. Even sitting there with him, she felt like he was being torn from her hands and she was rendered helpless.

Words to counter his sprung to the back of her throat, getting stuck in her mouth. She had people she could count on. To her, he was priceless, she didn’t see how she could be better off without him. She’s lived through it, Cat knows what it’s like to be without him and she can survive, but she doesn’t want to have to.

As he pushed her away, she felt her crying slowed to tears rolling down her cheeks, eyes focused on him and what he said. Her mind raced with a thousand thoughts all at once, but the overwhelming theme was that he was leaving her, that he was giving up on her, on them. Everything she had done, every ounce of love she had poured into him had just been thrown back in her face. Cat tried to straighten up, hating the feeling of being small, still trying to think of the next thing to say.

It was hard to meet Garrison’s eyes, the way she sat on the side of the bed feeling all too familiar to when her husband told her things weren’t working. A small scoff left her mouth as she wiped her cheeks with her hands. “I don’t think..” Words breaking off as her voice cracked, Cat gave in. She could sit here and argue and cry all she wanted, but she knew from experience that if someone said they were done with you, they meant it. “If that’s what you want.”

location: monster bash players: @playerkitty​ and hades

“I swear,  he’s the fourth tree I saw today. Is it a popular costume? Since when did being trees become a thing?!” He was wound tight tonight. He knew it, his guild mates knew it, hell people seemed to steer clear of him because even they knew it. While he was doing better being in touch with his emotions and coping in a healthier way, he was still wrestling with a lot of things, and tonight… tonight wasn’t very helpful. 

He had agreed to come as a part of a theme with Achilles and Padme and while they were all friends again, and while it was just a costume, it was still a reminder that he was no longer with them, but that they were in the process of moving on. 

Well… supposedly. He wasn’t doing all that great in that area, feelings wise. 

“I’m… I’m sorry… I’m just… I’m a bit on edge right now.” He gritted through his teeth, handing a flute of champagne over to kitty. “You look nice, by the way.” 

Kitty listened to Hades complain about costumes she helped make and twisted the ring on her hand, trying to figure out how she could interject into his grouchy rampage. She had noted though, that his costume seemed to match both Achilles and Padme’s though, which was a risk even she wouldn’t have made.

Graciously, she took the flute from him, the corners of her mouth curling up into a smile. “You know, I helped make those tree costumes.” Bringing the glass to her lips, she sipped on the champagne, shrugging her shoulders in a cheery manner at his compliment. “I’ll accept that compliment though, thank you very much.” Kitty leaned back against the wall, eyes raised slightly to meet his own, “A party really isn’t the place to be this grumpy, you know. What do you say I give you like... another two minutes to get everything off your chest and then we like dance or something?”