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If you ever find yourself about to fuck the Tamsy Caines, consider yourself lucky. He doesn’t give it out to just anybody.
I feel like Tamsy would treat sex the same way Hannibal treats his food. It’s all about sensuality, presentation, and taking the time to savor every small detail. (I’ve never seen Hannibal, is this accurate?)
Similar to Enjin, Tamsy also likes mirror sex. But to him, it’s more sensual than downright freaky sex.
He’s so fucking toxic but the dick is good enough to make you forget how manipulative he is.
He will eat you out for your pleasure. It’s not that Tamsy doesn’t enjoy going down on you, but he really only does it because he knows you like it. Still, if Tamsy is between your legs, he isn’t coming back up until you’ve came about 5 times.
Tamsy likes positions that let him be in control. You will rarely be on top of him, and even if you are, he’s still the dominant one.
I am a bdsm Tamsy truther. Tamsy will soft launch his love for bdsm, but he won’t go beyond what you're comfortable with.
Tamsy Caines is a smart man. His logic is that if you can arouse someone, you have some form of control over them. Thus, if you want something from Tamsy, you’ll have to earn it. Going back to my point about oral, he knows you like it. That’s why he expects you to work for your reward…
He spews absolute filth with the most angelic voice. His dirty talk is somewhere between praise and degradation. Most of the time, you feel too good to wonder if he’s truly being mean or teasing you.
Tamsy’s voice could make you do anything. He tells you to “quiet down” and “wait for him to let you cum” in such a soft spoken voice you can’t help but listen to him.
Tamsy is a very kinky man. Spanking, slapping, dacryphilia, bondage, biting, pet play, hair pulling (you & him), overstimulation, corruption, anal, edging, begging, the list goes on.
We’re looking at 7 inches, cut, and no veins. He’s pierced (duh), and his tip is the prettiest dusty rose color you’ve ever seen. He keeps himself clean shaven down there.
As sick as it is, I think Tamsy lowkey has a thing for virgins. A pretty innocent girl that he can ruin and make sure she only wants his touch? That’s right up his alley.
Aftercare with Tamsy is simple. He’ll run you a bath, give you a massage afterwards, get you a change of clothes, and brush your hair.
His body count has a comma in it, just so you know
Enjin likes all parts of a woman’s body. Ass, tits, thighs, etc. He’s not really picky
Really likes cowgirl and reverse cowgirl because he can watch you get off and smoke a ciggy at the same time
I feel like Enjin lowkey has a thing for bossy women. He won’t bitch if you take the lead every now and then.
Will fuck you anywhere. The couch, the bed, the bathroom, the kitchen counter, the car, the club bathroom, the elevator, hell in the middle of waiting at the DMV if you want. Tell him you want him and he’ll give it to you right then and there.
Would clone his dick. Has cloned his dick. It was a Valentine’s Day present for you.
Loves mirror sex. He’s hot & you’re hot so it just makes sense that he would get off at watching you two fuck.
Going off that, Enjin has a collection of spicy home videos you two have made together.
As far as kinks, there’s nothing out of the ordinary. Spanking, squirting, mirror sex (again), light bdsm, edging, overstimulation, public sex, and maybe anal if you’re also down.
He likes receiving more than giving. It’s not that he doesn’t give head, but he likes the sight of you going down on him more. Still, he likes 69 and face sitting because he has full access to your pussy and ass.
He will tease you with the most shit eating grin on his face. He’s so smug and he knows he’s making you feel good. Enjin really likes to make fun of how wet and loud you are.
We’re looking at about 7.5 inches, cut, and he’s trimmed. He’s longer than he is thick but is that really a problem? Curves to the right and he has a faint musky smell. A few veins on the dih.
Likes to pretend that your pussy is “talking” to him when he fucks you. He treats her like she’s a separate being from you.
Not really great at aftercare, sorry. The most you’re getting is him asking if you want to shower and “so what are you about to do?” You will not be staying the night.
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Not to be all love and light uwu, and I do think baneful magic has its uses and that people have a right to protect themselves against real harm, but sometimes the things I see people talking about casting curses on others for just tells me that the curseworker is not a safe person to be around.
The way I look at it, baneful magic can be the magical equivalent of a physical assault, yeah? I keep seeing people talking about cursing someone over a disagreement, or general dislike, or something that could be resolved with a conversation, like adults.
If you would physically hurt me, just because we disagree or don't like each other, then you're not someone I care to engage with full stop. I see no difference with baneful magic.
So if you are thinking about cursing someone, I believe it's important to sit with it for a while and think as diplomatically as possible about why you want to, and to try and be specific about what you want to happen to them. If baneful magic is about defending yourself and applying consequences, then you still have a responsibility to mind yourself. What did this person actually do, and is it worth violence towards them? Would it be justifiable for you to, say, punch them in the face for this? To cause serious or lasting harm, that may extend beyond them to their loved ones who have nothing to do with the situation? Or are you in fact being the aggressor here, just because you can get away with it, over something that is just not that serious?
Neck kisser, back kisser, leg kisser, ass cheek kisser, foot kisser. There’s not a single inch of you that Bro Santa would not kiss. If he can reach it, he’s kissing it.
There are some parts of a woman’s body that society deems ugly, but not Bro Santa. He likes bush and stretch marks. Also, Bro would salivate at the sight of breast veins (iykyk)
As far as his favorite positions, Bro loves prone bone, cowgirl, and sideways. Y’all he’s 35. Don’t expect him to put you in the most creative positions. The most he can do is either full nelson or leapfrog.
I’ve said this before, but Bro Santa is not a hard dom, or an obvious dom really. Bro is gentle and affectionate and will give you exactly what you need and more. You don’t really notice how in control he is until he’s whispering in your ear that “you can give him one more, can’t you?” And you do.
Proud eater. He just likes putting his mouth on you. You have to watch out for him because he’ll pounce on you randomly just to suck and kiss on your pussy. If you have an outie pair, he really likes to play with those just so you know.
We’re looking at about 9 inches, cut, and a bit thicker in the middle. He has hair but he keeps it trimmed. Taking him is no easy task, that's why he has to prep you by giving you mind-blowing orgasms beforehand.
For the sake of Dear and his rambunctious friends, Bro prefers sex in the bedroom. If he knows it's just you two in the house for a while, maybe he’ll consider fucking you in other parts of the house.
As far as kinks go, Bro has a few. Daddy kink, breeding, overstimulation, lactation, hair pulling (you and him), and squirting. He’s a perverted old man lol.
If you’re like me and you have a fat twat, I don’t think you’re safe from Bro mindlessly playing with it. You two could be in bed watching a movie, and suddenly there’s a large warm hand playing with your mons pubis. Idk why, he just seems like the type.
Aftercare king! After you two are done and he’s cleaned you up with his tongue he’s running a bath for you and getting you a snack and some water.
A place somewhere in Brooklyn, New York where it’s just the two of you…and a cat
Waking Higuruma after he fell asleep in his office overlooking cases…again
The smell of paper and fresh linen
Macallan 18 sitting in a decanter in the kitchen, for when Hiromi loses a case
Tiramisu in the fridge, for when Hiromi wins a case
Date nights at jazz bars, making him try new fruity cocktails
Dark chocolate tucked away in Hiromi’s desk drawer, a snack while looking over cases
Putting hand written notes in the pocket of his blazer
Wine and a bubble bath every night before bed
A grand piano in the living room, he knows how to play he just doesn’t as much…
Sitting in the kitchen eating takeout together
Hiromi giving you a summary of the case he’s currently working on, he shouldn’t but who are you going to tell?
Laying on the couch together, smelling L’eau Papier and soap on Higuruma’s skin
Packing a homemade lunch for him while he gets ready for work
Roses just because
Hiromi coming home to the smell of a home cooked meal after a long day
Dragging him to bed after 11pm because it’s late and he needs to rest
Snacking on a charcuterie board while you force him to watch Desperate Housewives with you, he’s actually very invested in the show but he’ll never admit it
Investing in lavender essential oil and sleepytime tea to help him get some sleep
Thank you for reading, here's a slice of tiramisu <3
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my favorite higuruma headcanons .ᐟ ⋆˚࿔
wc. 1.8k | cw. nsfw under the cut. mdni.
part 2 here!
higuruma only wears glasses at home bc his eyes are fried from reading case files in his laptop, but he hates them!!!! he's got that sharp, perfect bridge of the nose, but the glasses still slip down every five seconds. the good thing is seeing him get annoyed and pushing them up with his middle finger while trying to read. in my opinion is a top-tier domestic view
you would expect pure jazz, and higuruma does love it, but his playlists are a mess of arctic monkeys, tame impala, and mitski BUT his "take it to the grave" secret is that he unironically listens to hatsune miku or 2nd gen k-pop's girl groups (girls generation maybe?) just to feel alive after a loooong day at the office
higuruma is chronically offline. you mention a tiktok trend and he'll look at you like you're speaking a foreign language. also if you ask him if he's a dog person or a cat person, he'll just look confused and say "i'm a lawyer…"
also don't ask him about team summer or team winter. he hates sweating through his suits in july and he hates feeling like a literal onion with all the layers in january. higuruma just wants it to be a crisp october day so he can wear a nice suit and be left alone
his phone is never on ring. it's permanently on dnd or silent vibration. sudden electronic noises make him physically wince. the only way to get a fast reply is a text, and honestly, he would probably prefer an email for anything serious. if a notification pops up and he doesn't know how to clear it, higuruma gets genuinely stressed
higuruma got tired of instant ramen during his bar exam days, so he learned to cook with a professional precision. he does the whole sunday meal prep thing, chopping veggies perfectly then freezing everything in identical containers with a little tag with a date. it's efficient, but man, he can actually cook
speaking of college days, higuruma got that functional strength from doing judo and track back in college and he still goes for runs at 2 am when his brain won't shut up about a case. he is lowkey proud of his legs and arms, and honestly? he should be
even though he's forced to use a laptop for work, higuruma is obsessed with high-end stationery. he has impeccable, calligraphy-level handwriting and only uses fountain pens because he likes the feeling of them. his version of retail therapy is going to a boutique and spending way too much money on a specific type of textured paper lmao he is a nerd
definitely he's not a party drinker, but he's a meticulous one. higuruma doesn't get the point of shots, he's a whiskey or highball kind of guy. maybe he'll sit in his dark apartment, staring out the window, sipping his drink in total silence
but if higuruma is really spiraling, he'll make tea in the traditional way
he prefers coffee tho
i'm pretty sure he's super sensitive to smells, with that nose, how could he not be? higuruma hates very sweet or cloying perfumes. he personally smells like sandalwood, old books and neutral laundry detergent
and that's why he's a clean freak. higuruma likes his space to be tidy, clean, and smelling nice. ahhhh! nothing better than coming home to a place that doesn't smell musty
higuruma is a light sleeper and a total grump about it for sure. he has to sleep with a silk eye mask because any bit of light wakes him up. if he gets hit with insomnia at 3 am, he doesn't just toss and turn, he gets up, puts on the glasses he hates, and reads a dense philosophy book until his brain literally gives up
that too! i think he reads a lot, like a whole lot! maybe i'm exaggerating, but this man reads way too much and a huge variety of subjects. he likes psychology, philosophy, world history… he reads fiction, poetry, novels, autobiographies, EVERYTHING! plus, he's not picky at all. obviously, he enjoys japanese or asian literature, but you can easily find him reading spanish or nigerian literature
he definitely drives a black sedan that is incredibly boring but impeccably clean. higuruma doesn't understand people who put accessories or stickers on their cars. to him, a car is a metal box meant to get you from point a to point b without attracting attention
higuruma has no idea how funny he is when he's being serious. he'll say something incredibly dry or legalistic in a casual setting, and when everyone laughs, he just blinks, looking genuinely offended or confused, you know, with a frown, lips in a small, almost imperceptible pout. he's a comedy goldmine but he's too busy being serious to realize it
and being a lawyer means he literally cannot function without a paper trail. higuruma keeps receipts for everything, everything!!! dinners, groceries, even a 200 yen coffee, organized in a folder by date. it's not that he's cheap, it's just that in his mind, if there's no record, the event didn't happen. when he buys you a gift, he definitely has the receipt tucked into a separate envelope yk "just in case"
speaking of being cheap... higuruma would rather get soaked than use one of those cheap, clear plastic convenience store umbrellas. he only carries a heavy, long-handled black umbrella with a wooden grip. he really doesn't like the cheap umbrellas, he finds them disrespectful lol also he'll meticulously shake every drop of water off it before entering a building, and he lowkey judges people who leave puddles on the floor
higuruma is the type of man who shows up to the airport 4 hours before a flight, like airport dad energy. he needs everything under control: passport in a leather holder, gate located and plenty of time to sit and read a book. the idea of "winging it" or running for a flight gives him actual physical anxiety
he projects this image of i only drink black coffee and neat whiskey, but he has a hidden weakness for traditional japanese sweets or chocolate. after a particularly brutal day in court, you'll find him eating a single, expensive truffle with a look of absolute, soul-crushing seriousness :')
maybe he'll forget to buy milk, but higuruma will remember a specific sentence you said three months ago at 11:45 pm lol his brain is trained to retain testimony, so he "wins" every argument, not by shouting, but by calmly pointing out your contradictions with photographic memory. it undoubtedly makes him a difficult boyfriend, but a terrifyingly attentive one
for example, he'll remember something you said once without even realizing it, while you were walking through a mall or street. weeks later, he'll give you that thing you saw and said was cute as a gift
nsfw under the cut
higuruma is a clean-shaven or bust kind of guy. he hates the itch of a stubble, but he's not into the whole fully naked look down there. he's 36, not 8; he likes feeling like a grown man, thank you very much
higuruma used to be insecure about his nose when he was a kid, but then he realized that it's actually a… very high-performance asset during oral. he's been quietly confident about it ever since iykyk
since he dominates for safety, he's very big on clear instructions in bed. higuruma needs craves order. but the second you playfully disobey him or laugh during a serious moment, he absolutely short-circuits. his lawyer brain doesn't know how to handle rebellion that isn't a legal violation, and that's when the authority mask finally starts to slip
but college!higuruma was a sub and yes, you read it right. he had an older girlfriend in college and he once asked her to swap roles but she shut him down and he basically locked that part of himself away. now, he's terrified of being vulnerable because he assimilates letting go of control with getting rejected
sometimes, when he's overstimulated or if you're particularly bossy, you can see the sub!higuruma peeking through. if you grab him by his tie and pull him down, or if you tell him exactly what to do, he'll get this dazed, obedient look in his eyes. he'll follow your lead with zero hesitation because, for a split second, he doesn't have to be the one in charge
bc of his upbringing, he's a natural overachiever. higuruma is not doing it for his ego, he's doing it for you. he's meticulous about your pleasure, checking your breathing and your reactions like he's analyzing a witness. he wants to win at sex by making sure you're absolutely ruined (in the best way)
since he grew up only getting validation through success, praise kink hits him like a freight train. if you whisper that he's doing a good job or that he's so good for you while he's between your legs, he will literally lose his composure. he'll bury his face in your thighs just so you don't see him blushing
we already talked about that nose, but it's patience that gets you… let me explain! higuruma LOVES eating you out and he approaches it as if he was studying for the bar exam. he'll stay down there as long as it takes, completely focused, using his hands and his mouth until you're shaking. for him, it's comforting bc it's the only time his brain finally calms down
i think higuruma is very sensitive to touch and sound. if the room is too loud or the sheets are too rough, he can't focus. but once he's in it, he's a vocal lover. he doesn't talk dirty in a cliché way you know like "you like that?", he's more about low, gravelly whispers, describing exactly what he's doing to you in that dry, legalistic tone that suddenly sounds deadly sexy
he's big on edging !!!!! in his mind, the build-up is the trial and the orgasm is the sentence. he likes to draw things out, making the tension almost unbearable, because he feels like he has to earn the release
and as we know higuruma has a thing for restraints, he loves seeing you with your wrists tied, rope knots decorating your skin, he loves having control over your reactions and your pleasure. but if he lets you bind his hands with his own silk tie, it's the ultimate sign of trust. it's him literally handing over the control he's worked so hard to maintain
he thinks he'll never leave a mark on you where anyone can see it. but the time he got carried away and left a hickey on your neck… god, that man lost his precarious grip on sanity lol higuruma also likes when you leave a marks on him. a little scratch or a shy bite on his shoulder or hip? HE LOVES THEM!!! he'll keep it hidden under his clothes like a secret treasure, touching it through the fabric during meetings just to remind himself he's yours
Is an absolute sweetheart in the bedroom. He always wants to know if you’re feeling good and if you need him to speed up or change the position. He likes communication, which is sexy.
He’s not necessarily a brat tamer, but he can tame a brat. Honestly, he would much rather reward good behavior than punish you. Gris would whisper things like “don’t you want to be a good girl for me?” and “that’s not how good girls act” before he would want to deliver any punishment. He’s a patient man, but he does have a limit…
Gris is the king of praise! He never forgets to tell you how beautiful you are and how good you’re making him feel.
As far as kinks go, I think Gris is pretty vanilla. He’d be into light bdsm, and maybe some roleplaying. Honestly if you have anything you want to try, let him know. All he wants is to please you.
Gris Rubion is packing, water is wet, and the sky is blue. These are all facts. We’re looking at 8.5 inches, a shower, and he’s cut. Oh, and a vein running down the underside of his shaft. He curves a little, you can’t really tell by looking but you can definitely feel it.
Will not have sex anywhere that isn’t in his house or your place. He likes comfort and intimacy, so he’ll fuck you anywhere as long as it’s just you two around.
Hates quickies, he wants to go for hours. To Gris, quickies are too casual and he could do without them.
Gris is a giver. He wants to make you feel better than anyone else ever could. So yes, he does enjoy going down on you at random times of the day. He does enjoy overstimulating you to tears after each orgasm. And he certainly enjoys the blissed out look on your face when he’s done with you.
Likes positions that let him be closer to you: classic missionary, mating press, and he loves reverse cowgirl...
❤︎ cw . . . reader x bro santa, established relationship, mix of normal gachiakuta verse and modern au
❤︎ note . . . i would do things to bro santa, you have no idea, but mhgh i had to cut some of this down because i got SOO OUT OF CONTROL!!! GENUINELY HE DRIVES ME INSANEE OUUGHH BRO PLEASEE!!! crossposting to ao3 eventually!
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
oh he's so so doting, no matter what. bro loves to kiss all over you, softly asking if you're okay, softly praising you for doing so good, asking if he did everything you needed him to do. genuinely, just an absolute sweetheart, and will 100% order food after if its not too late and you aren't too tired as he cleans you up with a warm washcloth, playfully teasing you at the way your thighs are still trembling a little.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
bro is so obsessed with your tummy, he loves touching it, rubbing his hands over it, pressing kisses to the softness there, and sometimes will just give it a little, teasing squeeze. but he's ashamed to ever admit how obsessed he is with your boobs, whether yhey are big or small, he loves rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, loves kissing them before popping one into his mouth and lazily rubbing his tongue over it. for himself, he likes his hands, because he gets to use them to feel you, touch you, make you feel good. and he LOVES knowing your hands are so much smaller when you both hold hands, it makes his ears go so fucking red as he tries not to grin.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
now this is where he gets so nasty. this man cums a lot. a fucking lot. it's thick, hot, and shoots out really far, and he's always so embarrassed about the mess. but he absolutely loves watching his cum ooze out of you, the embarrassed noise you make when you try to close your legs so he can watch. oh, and don't let him cum on your face or neck, he will absolutely break as he begs you to let him get a picture of you like this, especially a polaroid for him to keep stored away.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
the poor thing still sometimes cums in his sleep, and he is always so fucking embarrassed about it. most of the time, he gets lucky enough to wake up before you and clean up, but the days he wakes up to you cooing at how cute he is, he genuinely wants to burying himself…and every time he cums in his sleep, it's a dream about you all glowing and pregnant with his baby, but he's never told you that part.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
at his age of 35, he is very experienced and definetely knows what he's doing, especially because he was very, VERY experimental in his mid-twenties. now, he's just a bit embarrassed to admit it, and never wants to go too far with you and come across as a creepy old man. if you tell him you're into that and you want him to be your creep old man, he's groaning into his hands. "god, you're gonna kill me, honey…"
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
he loves loves loooves missionary, don't get him wrong. the intimacy of it, being able to see your every reaction, and constantly press messy kisses all over your flushed cheeks…but his absolute favorite position to have you in is prone bone. oh, especially when he gets to have you in a headlock as he gives you some nice, deep thrusts that make you speechless and dumb, and it keeps you still for him so you can't move away so he can give you everything you need.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
bro is usually serious in the moment, always taking your pleasure to heart. he may crack a joke here and there, tease you a little bit and nip you to get a sweet little laugh out of you, but otherwise, he's absolutely honed in to make sure you are constantly in pleasure.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
poor guy is so busy all the time he never really has time to truly groom himself to the way he wants to. he's got a thick, dark happy trail of curly hair. he gets a bit embarrassed by it, but if you ever tell him not to shave or that you like it like that, he's melting in the embarrassment. bro thinks you are just saying that, but when he sees how messy you get when you give him head he realizes you aren't lying at fucking all. nose buried into the curly hair, drools and precum soaking the hairs…okay, if you like it that much, he guesses he can get it a little untamed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
oh, he's so fucking romantic, absolutely enamored with you and makes sure you can tell he loves you. constantly running his hands all over your body. it's hard for him not to be intimate and loving with you, even if you ask him to be rougher, he's muttering under his breath how gorgeous you are, how blessed he is to have you as his, and only his.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he's sloppy with it, head hanging back and mouth open as he strokes his dick with an excessive amount of lube. it's so fucking messy, loud, and wet as he quickly fucks his fist, a pair of your panties against his face as he dreamily sighs your name into the fabric, absolutely ashamed at himself but so fucking pent up he couldn't help himself. and…can you really blame him when he starts humping your pillow, groaning how much he misses you as he spills his cum all over it. but, is it…that bad if he sometimes thinks about having you lick his cum off the fabric?
K = Kink (g: giving, r: receiving, b: both)
cumplay, lactation, pregnancy (likes you all round and glowing with his baby in your tummy), dacryphilia, scent kink, high heels, clothed sex, belly/throat bulge, brat taming (b), free use (g), overstimulation, breeding, praise kink, pet play, play fighting/wrestling, size difference, voyeurism, exhibitionism, daddy kink (r), somnophilia (b), humiliation (g), dry humping, temperature play, dumbification
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
if it's not the bedroom, he is absolutely obsessed with fucking you in the back of a car. something about how big he is hovering over you in the back seat, how everything just feels hotter, the way the windows fog up…it really really turns him on more than it should. and the thrill of possibly getting caught, knowing someone could notice the way the car bounced up and down, the hands pressed up against the foggy window, oh, it only makes him wanna fuck you even deeper.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
honestly, anything you do that's romantic and sweet, he's practically melting in your hands. he's truly in love with you, so any kind of love and affection you give him makes him lean into you, chasing after your lips when you kiss him chastly, desperate for more of you. but when you walk past him and brush or run your hand across his chest, oh he is hard as fuck.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
he can't really do any kind of genuine degradation toward you. he's just so full of love and adoration for you, it genuinely would pain him. he tried too once, but genuinely the second the insult slips off his tongue, he's stopping and immediately groaning, kissing you deeply. "i can't, baby, 'm sorry, i know you want it, but i can't call you or insult you like that, you're too perfect."
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
it's a solid tie. he loves giving head, especially when you let him hold you down and just go brainless off your taste, moaning and growling against your slick cunt, putting gentle little kisses right on your clit. but because of his size, he never really prioritized himself getting head, but when you decide you'd love to give his dick the worship it deserves, he's whimpering, fisting the sheets, doing everything he can to avoid grabbing your head and fucking your tight throat,
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
he loves slow, deep, giving thrusts, keeping it intimate and sensual to make sure you get to feel every inch of him. he knows you think it's torture, the way he constantly drags his dumb cock against your walls so you have no choice but to just feel it. but when he's overly stressed and pent up, he's still going slow and deep, but he's hitting so fucking hard, turning your moans into poor little grunts, debauched noises getting punched out of you.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
he's not too big of a fan of quickies, because he knows it takes a long time for him to cum and trying to hide his hard-on from not cumming is truly a task on its own. but he's also just got an awful habit of turning one round into two…and into three…and then into six. so anytime you try to get a 'quickie', it turns into full on marathon sex with bro whining 'just one more, i'll make it fast, i promise, baby.'
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
of course, he's always down to experiment. if anything, he did a lot of experimenting when he was younger, so he knows what he likes and what he doesn't, but he's always ready to do things you wanna try out. if anything, he's your guy because he is going to make sure you understand what you are about to try out, making sure you know your safeword(s), and after you both try something new out, he's sitting you down and asking what you liked, what you didn't like, and if you want to do more of it. he's a closeted freak, just ask.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
he lasts too long, it's insane, he is absolutely insatiable. but he can't help himself, sometimes he gets frustrated when it takes him so long to cum. however, he can't lie that knowing he can make you cum at minimum 2-3 times before he has due to his stamina is pure ego fuel. and he loves marathon sex, really enjoys how after each round, both of you end up more and more brainless, sloppier, and dumb, he thinks it's the most romantic thing ever to just get absolutely lost in each other until neither of you can speak.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
he had a fleshlight…keyword: had. he went a little too hard on it and the poor thing is absolutely destroyed. bro is always a bit nervous to have toys because dear is a nosy little guy, but he's willing to try getting some new ones once you guys manage to find a lock box of some kind. he'd love to experience a fleshlight again, except next time you are the one sliding it up and down his shaft for him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
he loves teasing you all sweet and coy, little nips and near kisses where he pulls away last minute. but when he's got you spread open on his lap, his fingers sliding in and out of you, his lips trailing up and down your neck. but he never speeds up, never letting you get to fall over that edge, just keeping you stuck in that sticky, gooey feeling of pleasure. "d'aw, mami, you're so lovely like this…mhm? yeah? no, no, not yet, don't cum yet, jus' feel it for me, okay?" ugh he's so fucking mean, no amount of squirming is gonna get you what you want…unless you slip up and call him daddy and then he's accidentally sinking his fingers in you deeper.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
he sounds so good, a lot of groans and grunts, mixed with soft pants of your name. and he always does it right in your ear, making sure you can feel the vibrations of his noises. he's not too loud, always cautious so no one hears him but also so he can hear your sounds too because he's a sucker for those pretty noises he can get out of you. but the nights you guys are going crazy, completely feral for each other and it's just the two of you in the house? he's so loud, trying his best to hold his sounds back, but he just fucking can't, literally sobbing from how good it feels to have you milk every last drop out of him, whining, and whimpering all for you.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
lowkey, very gross about you kissing him after he cums in your mouth, like. really, really fucking gross, he's tugging you up before you get a chance to swallow, messily shoving his tongue into your mouth to get a good taste of you and him. he doesn't care about his cum dripping down his chin, or the way you are hiccuping moans against his lips as you try to catch your breath as the mess of spit and cum just make the kiss sloppier and sloppier. but he really fucking loves pulling away to see how nasty you look, dazed, shocked, and just covered in a mix of your fluids. yeah, he's a mess for making you a mess.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
he's got an absolute monster between those thick thighs of his, a nice, thick, and heavy one. and he knows its big, too big even. he's a show-er, 8 inches on hard and on soft, and it's got a nice girth to it, the thickness in the center always giving you a tough time to get the rest of him in, but fuck if it doesn't stretch you out good. he's got a nice, thick . he's real sensitive under the base, run your tongue over it and he's throwing his head back, letting out the prettiest whimper. it curves a bit to the left, but it's not like it matters, it's still too heavy to stand up on its own.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
oh, it's so high, like, insanely high. but he keeps it under wraps, because he doesn't want to come across as a desperate loser who gets excited from a chaste kiss. plus, he's so busy taking care of dear and the others, he doesn't have time to truly deal with his building need. but when you finally sit him down, tell him it's okay to feel needy, to be pent up, to be horny, he'll slowly dip into it with you…just be careful, when he finally snaps from all the frustration, he's going to be insatiable.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
bro cannot and will not sleep until you sleep. he's so doting on you, making sure you are comfortable and satisfied. oh and he's an absolute sucker for cuddling, so he wants you to cool down before it's time to settle in because the last thing he wants is you to feel sticky and gross when trying to fall asleep. but the moment you are sleeping, he's following right after, his arms wrapped around your waist as he does his best to match your breathing. (he's such a nerd…)
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stealing your husband’s chocolate and finding out it was laced with an aphrodisiac!
[content: MDNI, crack smųt, a very unserious piece of work, piv, hair pulling, use of aphrodisiacs, sukuna’s sour but then he’s sweet]
Never in your life have you been so horny it hurt.
“Kuna, please—harder,” you cry out.
“I’m going as hard as I fucking can, you little slut,” he snaps, each thrust matching every harsh word that gets spat through his teeth. “THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T EAT RANDOM. CHOCOLATE. ON. THE. COUNTER.”
“I’m sorry! Fuck!! I didn’t know!”
“There was a note saying DON’T eat it—you just didn’t give a shit because you’re a thief and a glutton. A liar now, too,” he continues to scold you over the chocolate bar he was going to give to Jin so he’d stop groveling over his ex. It’s been 6 fucking months, he’s tired of having to listen to him go on and on about Kaori. Enough is enough—he needs to go out and sleep with someone.
And now Jin’s never going to shut up. Sukuna doesn’t even want to look at you right now—let alone reward your behavior with dick.
“And now you’re cryin’ like it’s my fuckin’ fault.” It’s him who should be crying right now. “It’s simple: Leave my fucking snacks alone. I always get multiples of each so you’d keep your grubby little hands off them. Why can’t you just be normal and go in my wallet?? Fuck—Arch that back some more.” He cracks his palm over your ass. “Yeah, hike it up nice and high.”
“I can’t!” It feels like it’s about to break with all the weight he’s putting on it! Both of his hands pinning you down, burying every last inch of his cock inside of you.
He scoffs, nudging for you to close your thighs, then planting his knees right next to yours so they stay that way. “Do you want to cum?”
“…yes,” you whimper.
“Then fucking arch it.”
You sniffle. “Okay.”
He breaks character and huffs out a laugh as he watches you continue to helplessly stretch and squelch around him, making a creamy mess all along his shaft. He straightens his back, big hands now firmly grabbing your hips as he picks up the pace.
“Yeahh—stay right there,” his chest rumbles as he lets out a low, drawn-out groan. The smack of his hips growing louder, driving himself right into that little spot that won’t stop screaming for his attention.
It has his attention now.
The new angle had you whining into the pillow, absolutely reeling from how good he was at this, despite his complaints. He knows how to be rough. Nearly lifting you off the bed once he starts pulling your hips back, heavy balls smacking against your sensitive clit as he makes you meet each and every rough thrust he delivers.
“F-fuckk!” you choke out, barely able to form a coherent sentence as you start babbling out a bunch of words.
“So fuckin’ spoiled.” He complains, but just barely. “C’mon brat—you’ve been working me like a fuckin’ dog, give it to me already.”
“I know, I’m sorry.” He doesn’t believe you. You sound like you’re in heaven right now. “Mmhh—I love you so much.” His scowl deepens. “So, so much—you’re so fucking big.“
“Tch.” He grabs a handful of your hair, then yanks you back until you’re up against his chest, lips grazing your ear while muttering in it. “I don’t want an apology. What I want is for you to cum on my fuckin’ cock already. Or should I just stop?”
“No, no don’t! Please! I’m trying, I swear,” you begin to plead with the man.
“Try harder.” Then he smiled, because he felt you squeeze around him. “Jesus Christ—you need to me talk you through it too? The chocolates supposed to make you horny, sweetheart. Not useless.”
“It’s not my fault,” you whimper, and squeeze around him again, pulling a condescending huff out of him.
“You poor thing,” he hums. “Probably spent the whole day waiting for me to come home so I could make you feel better, huh?”
His breath tickles your ear and you nearly moan. “Mhm—I thought about it all day.”
“Well aren’t you sweet,” he mutters, tone as condescending as ever. “You got what you wanted, too. I’ve been taking care of you for a while now. How many times have I cum in you now?”
“I… I don’t know—“
“Of course you fuckin’ don’t.” He cuts you off, unamused by your answer. “Want me to do it again? Fill you up, make you feel all nice and warm?”
“Please.”
“Give me what I want then. If these sheets aren’t soaked by the time I’m about to cum again, I’m pulling out and finishing on your face,” he lets go of your hair and begins to laugh. You don’t get much of a chance to react before you feel the pads of his fingers on your clit, pulling a gasp out of you once he starts rubbing little circles on top of already fucking you. “Heh—let’s see if playing with this cute little clit saves you.”
And he knows you don’t deserve it—any of it, honestly. Unfortunately, he can’t help himself, not with the reactions he gets out of you. He married you for many reasons—getting to spend the rest of his life with a squirter was one of them. The moment your breathing grows labored and you sound like you’re gonna start to cry, his lids grow heavy and he starts saying all the things he told himself he wouldn’t say today.
"Yeahhh, that’s it, baby—fuuuuck—takin’ it so good.” He is fucking gone. Voice thick, filled with nothing but lust and awe as he presses against your lower belly. “C’mon, you want it here, right? Yeah, you know what to do—don’t let some fuckin’ asshole finish on your sweet little face.”
Yes. Your husband just degraded himself. And you just egg him on without meaning to. You were already whining about how it was too much, the incoherent “want it inside,” just made it better worse.
“I will, I’ll give you so fuckin’ much if you just give me one—just one. Easy. Shit—I’ll fill you up as much as you want afterwards.” He doesn’t know what he’s saying, but that doesn’t matter when it’s what has you crying and trembling and finally gushing around his cock.“Yeah, that’s it. That’s it, that’s—fuuuuck yeah. Good job, sweetheart—good fuckin’ job. Fuck.”
Funny enough, he came right after you, which was a relief because that meant his job was done and he was finally able to give his dick a fucking break after hours of feeling like he was working for free, when he had already worked a regular eight hour shift prior. The biggest relief of all was seeing you lie limp in bed, after slightly worrying if you ever actually would.
He leans over you with a smug smile, already having forgotten how much you pissed him off earlier as he moved some hair away from your face. Checking to see if you’re actually asleep or not, then feeling a deep sense of peace when seeing that you are. He presses a kiss against your cheekbone, and in the most loving way hopes you stay that way because he cannot do that again. Then finally, he gets up to use the bathroom.
The peace is only lasts four steps until it’s completely shattered again when he hears your weak voice.
amandla
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