Queen Of Hell

New edition ! Recipes from Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook are marked with a *, all the others are creations from talented fans (shout out to @fantasyfeasts, for providing most of these, and @sewuniversebacktogether for attempting to make troll food). Discworld themed food for everyone !

Appetizers, snacks, sandwiches

Nanny Ogg’s Special Nibbles - with special party dip, made specially *

Sheep’s eyes *

Sam Vimes’s BLT

Sausage-inna-bun 

Seldom Bucket’s Favourite Snack *

Where’s the Pork?

Main dishes

Primal Soup *

Pie floater 

Slumpie *

Brodequin rôti façon Ombres - aka man’s boots in mud *

Horse Steak, Onions, and Foraged Vegetables

Genuine Howondaland Curry *

Mrs.Colon’s Genyooin Curry *

Lady Sybil Vimes’s Kedgeree *

Sourcerer’s Kedgeree

Curry with named meat

I Hate Chicken

Grimchi

Rincewind’s Potato Cakes *

Rincewind’s Potato Madness

Jolly Nourishing Fried Potatoes

Sergeant Angua’s Vegetable Stew - with dumplings *

Mrs Whitlow’s Artery-Hardening Hogswatch Pie *

Ploughman’s Pie

The Shepherd’s Crown pie

Mr Hong’s Fish Bars 

Noodles

Wow- Wow Sauce *

Pizzas

Klatchian Hots -with anchovies 

Klatchian Hots -without anchovies

Quattro Rodenti *

Creator’s pizza

Crunchy fried rat pizza

Four Strata Pizza

Bakery and sweets

Dwarf cake *

Dwarfish drop scones *

Drop scones

The Scone of Stone

Dwarf bread

Toffee-Rats on a Stick

Traveller’s Digestives *

Jammy Devils *

Figgins version 1* version 2 

Soul Cake Duck cakes

Tupenny upright

Nobby’s Mum’s Distressed Pudding version 1* version 2

All Jolson’s Black Death meringue 

Mrs Cake

Ankh-Morpork chocolate bonbons

Death by Chocolate

Chocolate Delight - with special secret sauce *

The Least Favourite Dessert of Verence II, King of Lancre  *

Nanny Ogg’s Maids of Honour (nsfw-ish…) *

Strawberry Wobbler (very nsfw-ish) *

Spicy Spotted Dick (no, not nsfw) * 

Bananana Soup Surprise  (not-as-nsfw-as-it-could-have-been)

Weatherwax Apple Pie

Pteppic’s Djelibeybis *

Klatchian Delight

Honey Ice Cream

May contain Nuts

Troll food !

Troll drink (I need a name for this one !)

Sweet Stones

Lumps of Coal (this one is not supposed to be Discworld related, but come on !)

Don’t forget the drinks ! Check Discworld Drinks :

City Watch Cocoa

Follow up:

AND I support women's wrongs

I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!

You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.

How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”

I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.

Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-

+ bonus (someone that should be feared):

Scott, you’re my best friend. Okay? And I need you. Scott, you’re my brother. 

Notes on this:

1. Battlefront II footage credit to ThePhunkyfish on YouTube.

2. He's only ribbing and not actually hating on the sequels.