fantasy feasts

Ahhh. That's a writer after my own heart, that is.

I'm currently testing a whole bunch of cake recipes in preparation for a massive holiday cake beast, and I thought I'd give this a shot. However, based on my research, the baking soda in this recipe seemed a bit underwhelming in terms of giving it a good rise, so I added a tsp of baking powder too.

Color me shocked when I realized that the cake was *meant to be flat*, because otherwise all the chocolate chips would sink to the bottom and form a solid layer of igneous chocolate. I got what was essentially a pleasant chocolate cake on top of a slab of chocolate lava. Next time, I'll dust the chips in some flour first before adding them, to help stop them from sinking.

Having eaten said monstrosity, it's not actually bad. It's very very chocolatey, and I can only imagine how much more chocolatey it would be if it had remained flat. The husband ate one slice immediately out of the oven and had another slice for breakfast, so I assume it's a crowd-pleaser all around. I actually think it would have been TOO chocolatey if all its chocolatey goodness had been concentrated inside a flat cake.

I didn't have any blackstrap molasses, so I added another tsp of vanilla. I also didn't have a chocolate cow, so I used chocolate almond milk instead, and it turned out fine. I didn't have a scale either so I measured out a cup and a half of chocolate chips and threw them in. Also, sifting the flour would probably have a better result, but I fucking hate sifting, so I didn't. I also used a cast iron pan way smaller than the pan required, so my bake times varied.

I'd definitely recommend serving this with the whipped cream rather than the sugar, because it desperately needs something cool to cut through all the unctuous chocolatey sweetness. The husband eats his cake in a bowl with whole milk, like cereal, because he's very creative with his cardiac arrest. I have a glob of blackberry jam with mine, because I find the tart jam goes well with the buttery cake.

The recipe below is adapted straight from the book, with my additions in brackets. Have fun with this one!

INGREDIENTS

1 stick butter [softened]

1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

1/2 cup white sugar

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract 

2 tbsp blackstrap molasses 

2/3 cup chocolate milk

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa

1 cup [all-purpose] flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder [my addition]

1 6oz package semi-sweet chocolate chips

METHOD

Grease and flour 13"x9" pan.

In a large bowl, cream butter or margarine until fluffy. Add brown sugar and white sugar and mix thoroughly.

Add eggs, vanilla, and blackstrap molasses, beating well after each addition.

In a separate container, stir flour, cocoa, salt, and baking soda together. [Add baking powder if using.]

Beat into butter mixture, alternating with the chocolate milk. Beat for 1-2 minutes, and then fold in chocolate chips.

Pour batter into greased and floured 13"x9" pan. Bake 35-45 minutes.

Can’t get more evocative than that!

This is a simple recipe for using up a whole bunch of brown bananas. The husband is in the habit of buying a bunch of bananas and eating exactly half of them before declaring the rest “too brown to eat.” I, on the other hand, would eat a banana right up to the point where it starts spawning Zerglings, so I made this recipe for using up every last banana, dammit!

I hate freezing this personally, because I have to layer wax paper between slices and the texture never comes out right after reheating. I just wrap the whole loaf pan in cling film and chuck it in the fridge, slicing whenever I feel like having a nice hearty snack.

If you don’t have a candy thermometer, keep a plate in your freezer to test the syrup on. Heat up the syrup over a medium low temperature until it reaches a foamy bubble. At 3 minute intervals, slop some syrup on the plate to see if it sets to a sort of gummy texture. When it does, that means it’ll cling to the top of your loaf rather than oozing straight through it!

You can also skip the peanut syrup topping (simply omit the honey/agave and peanuts) for a simple banana bread recipe, or you can half-ass it by slathering honey straight from the bottle and right onto the loaf. Just make sure the loaf is completely cool before application, because a hot loaf will absorb the sugar syrup too fast and you’ll lose the nice, airy texture!

INGREDIENTS

1 stick unsalted butter, softened

1 cup brown sugar

2 eggs

3 bananas, mashed

1 lemon

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

Pinch salt

2 tsp baking powder

½ tsp ginger (POWDER)

1 tsp cardamon

1 ¼ cup honey or agave

1 ¼ cup roasted peanuts

METHOD

Preheat oven to 325F. Grease loaf pan.

Cream butter and sugar together.

In a separate bowl, combine eggs and bananas.

Zest the whole lemon and add to the wet bowl.

Juice ½ the lemon into the wet bowl. Reserve remaining half lemon.

Whisk wet mixture vigorously until well combined.

Stir into creamed butter bowl and mix well.

In yet another bowl, mix flours, salt, baking powder, ginger, and cardamon well.

Fold dry ingredients into wet mix until all flour is JUST moistened. Deposit into loaf pan.

Bake in 325F oven for 50 minutes to an hour, or until knife inserted into loaf comes out clean.

When bread is done, leave it to cool in the loaf pan.

While waiting, combine honey/agave with peanuts and juice of remaining lemon in a saucepan. 

Cook over medium low heat until 240F. Maintain temperature for 10 minutes, then take off heat.

Top fully-cooled bread with WARM peanut syrup. (Syrup cannot be poured when cool!)

Let syrupy loaf set in fridge for at least 1 hour.

To store, wrap tightly in cling film and refrigerate.

In my husband's case, he takes a bite and goes "aaargh" and then moans about how soft the insides are while still having a nice crunch on the outside oh my god he's so lucky to have married me, etcetera. The man loves his cookies, I guess!

I actually love the whole wheat flour in this. It adds just a touch of finer texture to an otherwise soft cookie, while the oats contribute a pleasant chewiness. The whole wheat also makes the outside far crispier than all-purpose, which I enjoy. I eat mine cold and crunchy because I'm a savage, but the husband microwaves his for maximum melty gooeyness.

The overnight rest is so that the cookies don't spread as much while baking and remain nice and plump, rather than flat and burnt. You don't HAVE to do this step, but it makes the recipe foolproof, and it also helps the whole wheat flour to blend a bit better into the dough.

Cookies are misleadingly soft when they come out of the oven, but if they're golden brown on the edges of their bottoms and they pop cleanly off the pan, they are done. Don't let them get golden brown all over or they'll be too hard!

This makes 24 generously-sized cookies. Well, they're not as big as American store-bought cookies, which tend to aim for facehugger proportions, but they've a nice heft to them from the oats and the wheat flour, and the spices add a wonderful heat!

INGREDIENTS

1 stick unsalted butter

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup whole milk

2 eggs

1 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

2 cups rolled oats

Pinch salt

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp chili powder

1/2 tsp cayenne

1 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

METHOD

Cream the butter and sugar.

In a separate bowl, mix the eggs and milk.

In yet another bowl, mix the flours, oats, salt, baking powder, and spices.

Alternately add the dry and wet mixes to the creamed sugar, stirring all the while.

If too wet to handle, add all-purpose flour tbsp by tbsp. It should be sticky but not runny.

Fold in chocolate chips.

Pour mixture into ziploc bag or wrap in cling film. Make sure all the air is knocked out.

Refrigerate for at least 4 hours, preferably overnight.

Before preparing cookies to bake, preheat oven to 375F.

Using a 1/4 cup or an ice-cream scoop, plop cookie dough onto ungreased pan.

Bake for 12-15 minutes until edges are JUST golden brown and they come off the pan without fuss.

Remove and let cool.

In a somewhat thematically appropriate vein, I made this jam using blackberries I picked during the height of summer, when every insect in the world was also trying to eat them (and myself as well goddammit). I froze it all just so I would have some readily available out of season, but the husband wanted jam, so jam he got!

I made sure to pick some that were underripe, because they have more pectin. Pectin's the stuff that turns fruit into jam after some science shit happens with sugar, and it's more available in sour fruit. If using sweeter fruits, add a tablespoon of lemon juice per 2 cups of fruit.

I recommend tweaking the recipe so you never fill your jam pot more than halfway full. You don't need water or anything to pad this amount here. Any fuller and you run the risk of spilling hot liquid sugar all over your cooktop and yourself, and that's both dangerous and ridiculously difficult to clean. Keep a wet rag handy to wipe up hot spills immediately, or risk spending hours buffing it off with baking soda!

Try not to add too little or too much sugar than what I have. Too little, and you risk the jam not setting properly for the proportion of liquids, and too much will be far too sweet. Go maybe a cup or a cup and half more or less, at the very most.

If you don't have a candy thermometer, wait until it reaches a fast bubble, and then let it keep going for 10-20 minutes. Near your cooktop, keep a dish sitting in a bowl of ice, and splat your jam on the plate to see if it's set. It's set when it no longer runs or drips!

These are also not canned, so store them in your refrigerator and consume them within 2 weeks or risk botulism, I'm afraid.

INGREDIENTS

6 cups frozen berries

4 cups white sugar

Candy thermometer 

2 mason jars (1 pint size)

Heavy-bottomed pot

METHOD

Over low heat, heat up the berries until they bubble fast and soften.

Mash the berries with a fork or potato masher.

Stir in the sugar SLOWLY to avoid splashback.

Keeping the heat low, heat until 220F. Stir occasionally.

Once at 220F, maintain temperature for 10 minutes, then take it off the heat.

Pour into mason jars while hot, and then cool in refrigerator.

Ooo, that sizzles. Sorry sorry sorry

Anyway, I wanted to make a crunchier, heftier version of my usual go-to dinner rolls, because the husband is a serial over-stuffer of his sandwiches and he wanted something that would hold up to his multi-layered constructions. So I did some experimenting and came up with this hearty roll that you can make in a flash, without having to let it sit around all day.

The whole wheat adds a crisp to the bread that an all-purpose version simply cannot replicate, and it has a nutty flavor that complements heavier cheeses and spreads quite well!  The oats add a nice crunch if you decide to toast this, so this bread makes amazing grilled cheese sandwiches!

It's even freezer ready, which is what every time-strapped cook wants, really. Generally most breads are, but this one has the body to really stand up to the temperature changes without being mushy. 

I added an extra egg to help make the dough a little more tender and to rise a bit higher, and it really works. They go from rounded puck shapes to beautiful golden brown domes in no time at all!

INGREDIENTS

3 cups whole wheat flour

1/2 cups rolled oats

2 tbsps yeast

Pinch salt

1 cup whole milk 

1/4 cup vegetable oil

2 tbsps honey

2 eggs

METHOD

Preheat oven to 425F. Grease baking sheet.

Combine flour, oats, yeast, and salt in a bowl.

In separate bowl, warm the milk in microwave in 10 sec bursts, stirring in between.

Stir in oil, honey, and eggs. Mix well.

Gradually pour liquids into flour mix, stirring constantly.

Knead until it clings to the paddle and comes off the bowl cleanly.

If too wet, add tbsp by tbsp of whole wheat flour until it reaches Play-Doh consistency.

Separate into 8 balls. Fold over and knead each ball 20 times, then shape into hockey pucks. Place on greased sheet.

Cover balls with cling film and let rise for 10-15 minutes.

Remove cling film and bake for 5 minutes in 425F oven.

Remove from oven, turn tray around, and bake for another 5 minutes or until browned and bottoms come off the sheet cleanly.

Let cool on baking sheet. Use metal spatula to scrape them off. They should pop right off!

I also wanted to change the direction of this blog, away from the gimmicky stuff that I really would only make once or twice and never again. I really want to write about things that I'll make all the time, that's delicious and good and simple. Maybe I'll toss in a few special-occasion recipes, but for the most part it'll all be stuff that you can throw together in an afternoon without fussing about time or ingredients or even skill.

Furthermore, I'd like to slowly introduce some Burmese food, because that's a huge part of my upbringing, but Burmese cooking is so rarely found and so distinct that I was always afraid of losing my readers if they tried it.

But, you know what? I want to make Burmese food, because I love it, and I want to document my attempts at it so I can learn the things my mom always made for me. And you're welcome to try them!

Anyway, salsa. I don't measure salsa ingredients all that much; I just go outside and pick whatever tomatoes and peppers are ripe on my plants and then I throw them all into a bowl with some other shit and then it works because salsa! My jalapenos are red because I let them ripen more on the plant, but green works fine. Just remember to remove the seeds, or you'll be in for quite a spicy shock!

(Fun fact: Jalapenos will grow fucking everywhere. I had one in a concrete planter in a clay soil in shitty shade and it still somehow grew large enough for me to feel sorry for it. So I put it in a real planter indoors in my cold ass basement under a shitty 10v grow light and it fucking grew??? Now it’s happy and huge in the sun in a ginormous pot because I’m afraid if I keep mistreating it it’s just going to consume my gardening sins and turn into Planthulu.)

I add green grapes to this because the husband hates tomatoes, and grapes help cut some of the tomato-ey flavor down while adding a nice sour note. I do try to measure the cilantro, lime, chili powder and salt, because they're very strong flavors and you don't want too much of those.

Works well blended up, or chopped roughly! I like mine chopped rough for burritoes, and blended up for nachos.

INGREDIENTS

1 cup tomatoes, chopped

1 1/2 cup green grapes, chopped

3 jalapeno peppers, seeds removed, chopped

1/3 red onion, chopped

1/4 cup cilantro, loosely packed, chopped

1/4 tsp chili powder

1/2 lime

Salt to taste

METHOD

Mix everything but the chili powder, lime, and salt.

Slowly add the chili powder, tasting as you go. Stir well.

Squeeze lime slowly into salsa, tasting as you go.

Add salt to taste, then mix thoroughly with a spoon.

Blend in food processor (if desired).

Let sit in the refrigerator for 1-2 hours. Serve.

One good thing about being an Asian trapped in an area without Asian markets is that you will eventually straight up discover the secrets of alchemy. One day you're cheering when you find a substitute for char siu sauce that tastes almost the same, and the next day you're suddenly transmogrifying lead into gold.

I'm joking. Somewhat.

The husband treats red bean pastries like gold, essentially. He adores them. We used to get them at a Korean bakery, and he used to carefully ration them out between trips so they would last. I myself grew up eating them, so they have a certain nostalgic appeal, and they are NOT FUCKING AVAILABLE HERE, in this WASTELAND OF CRACKER BARREL AND GOLDEN CORRAL, so if I crave them, I have to make them.

This is a very simple recipe, without any funny stuff. If you can make basic pizza dough or bread, you can make this. Hell, as long as you are able to put stuff in a bowl and then make ball shapes with your hands, you can make these. They’re not complicated! If you DON'T have a steamer, you can use the red bean paste in a baked recipe instead, or just slather it on some prepackaged buns. 

I always make the paste the night before, so it has time to cool and really clump together, for ease of scooping. This recipe doesn't skin the beans, so you might get bits of skin in the bun, but I'm not bothered by it. Just a head's up, however! If you’re very turned off by skin bits, dump the paste into a food processor and pulse to get it extra fine.

Also, if you're not fussy about the surface appearance of the buns, you don't need a towel under the steamer lid. Basically the towel prevents water from dripping back down on the buns, which would give the buns a wrinkly appearance. I did it just for the photos, har. This is the standard steamed bun recipe I made before, adapted from The Woks of Life. Yes, I took out the sugar and added more milk. WILDCARD!!

I steam the entire batch in one go, and once they're cooled they're ready to go on a big sheet of wax paper and into the freezer! After 3 hours of freezing, I pop them into an airtight freezer container for neater storage and replace them in the freezer. When I want a lovely, steamy, plump snack, I microwave them for 1 1/2 minutes each!

Also, I made a little traditional red mark on one bun with a little dab of blackberry juice, because it's common to label your white buns this way in Singapore, where I grew up. You don't have to, but if you're making multiple flavors it might be a good idea!

INGREDIENTS

For the bean paste ~

2 cans kidney beans (drained, washed)

1 1/2 cups brown sugar

Pinch salt

3 tbsp all-purpose flour

For the buns ~

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup cornstarch

1 tbsp active dry yeast

1 cup whole milk (or almond milk if vegan)

3 tbsp vegetable oil

2 tsp baking powder

Wax paper (cut into 2x2in squares)

METHOD

Bring beans to a boil in a pot. Stir in sugar, salt, and flour.

Lower heat to medium, and then mash beans in the pot with a fork.

When liquid has mostly evaporated, turn off the heat.

Refrigerate paste when cooled.

In a separate bowl, mix flour, cornstarch and yeast. (NO BAKING POWDER.)

Slowly add the oil and the milk while kneading, until dough forms a big lump.

Cover bowl and let rest for 2 hours.

After rising for 2 hours, sprinkle baking powder on dough and knead thoroughly.

Divide dough into 8 balls.

Flatten a ball into a disk, then fill with 1 1/2 tbsp of paste.

Pinch sides together, then place pinched side down on the wax paper.

Repeat until you have filled all 8.

Bring water in steamer to a boil, then lower to medium heat.

Steam each bun for 15 minutes.

The scene where Chihiro helps clean the stink spirit is one of my favorites. For one thing, it's a subtle way of yelling at people who litter. I myself am an anti-littering misanthrope: I don't care how busy you are, CARRY YOUR GARBAGE TO THE NEAREST BIN.

For another, the spirit's gift is kind of a hilarious throwback to disgusting Asian traditional medicines. In my favorite old school kung fu movies, there's always somebody drinking some disgusting black slop out of a delicate porcelain bowl, with a tiny wizened old person pouring even more disgusting black slop in, should the unfortunate drinker finish. But it's good for you! Maybe. Perhaps.

But if you're a fan of bitter playing with sweet, as well as bite-sized snacks without all of the suspicious additives and corn syrup, then this will be the recipe for you! It has peanut butter, coffee, and honey for energy, rolled oats for fiber, all bundled up easily into a no-bake dessert! 

If you're particularly lazy, there's no harm in just throwing all the stuff in a bowl and mixing it, then eating it like cereal. The only drawback of not mixing dry and wet separately is that you might get odd patches of unmixed stuff, but if you pour milk into it, no one can tell the difference. Ancient medieval cooking secret!

I personally don't mind getting bitter hits of raw coffee grounds or the cocoa powder dusting, but if you're not a fan, feel free to omit them. Hell, you can even dust them in powdered sugar, if you're so inclined! I do recommend a dusting of something powdered, because the balls are less sticky to pick up during nighttime snack runs.

If the mixture is too dry and crumbly, even after warming it up in your hands, add in a little more peanut butter.

If it's too wet, add in more flour, tablespoon by tablespoon, until it's at the right moldable consistency.  

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 cup rolled oats

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 tbsp cocoa powder (+ more for dipping)

1 tbsp coffee grounds (optional)

3/4 cup natural peanut butter

1/2 cup honey (or agave to make it vegan)

1/2 cup chocolate chips (optional)

METHOD

Combine oats, flour, powder, and coffee grounds in a large mixing bowl.

Stir in peanut butter, honey, and chocolate chips. Mix thoroughly.

The mixture should resemble cookie dough - a bit crumbly, a little sticky, but shapeable.

Form into balls.

Dust balls in additional cocoa powder. Store in airtight container in the fridge.

Phew! And yes, a lot of things we fancy are full of fat. This recipe sure is. It's got TWO entire sticks of butter! Two!! I've also used a lot less sugar than most recipes recommend, because I'm not fond of too much sweetness. Am I fond of too much butter? Maybe. Perhaps.

This is a fine basic cupcake recipe for you to tweak at your pleasure. I used fresh strawberries in mine to further cut the sweetness, and you are welcome to try other mashed up fruits, chocolate chips, flavor extracts, citrus zests, and so on. Add any wet fruits to the wet ingredient bowl. Add chocolate chips LAST, right before pouring into the cupcake tin.

If you’re not able to consume an entire thing of cupcakes in one go, unlike my husband, god rest ‘im, these also keep very well! For storage, keep them unfrosted, in an airtight container in the freezer. Keep the frosting in the FRIDGE, not the freezer, or it'll be weird and watery and swampy. Don't ask.

To defrost, I let them sit at room temperature for about a couple of hours before serving, which is by no means a hard and fast metric. I've taken some out at breakfast for a lunchtime snack, for example. This also locks in the husband’s serving sizes to something more reasonable than “the whole batch.” I also used reusable silicone baking cups, but paper ones will do in a pinch.

INGREDIENTS

2 sticks butter, softened

3/4 cup white sugar

1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Pinch salt

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 eggs

1/2 cup milk

1 8oz packet cream cheese, SOFTENED

2 cups confectioner's sugar

METHOD

Preheat oven to 350F.

Cream 1 stick of butter and sugar together.

Mix flour, salt and baking powder in separate bowl.

In yet another bowl, mix vanilla, eggs and milk.

Pour wet ingredients into creamed butter and combine.

Pour dry ingredients SLOWLY into mixture and stir well.

Scoop 1/3 cup batter into greased cupcake tins.

Bake for 18-20 minutes, or until golden brown.

While cupcakes bake, blend 1 stick of butter, cream cheese, and confectioner's sugar together in a blender.

Chill frosting until firm and ready to pipe.

Let cupcakes cool in their tins until room temperature.

Frost however (badly) you like. 

Serve with fruit as a garnish, if desired.

Done! These are lovely little bite-sized pops of creamy goodness, perfect for hot summer days! You can see the extra strawberries I mashed into mine too.

Alright, so I just wanted an excuse to post this wonderful passage. It's bloody brilliant. It's such a lovely crystallization of human nature into such a succinct little snowglobe of disappointment. This happened immediately after an epic pitched battle involving several large spoilers, which is incidentally the perfect time to sell food, really. War is exercise! People get *hungry* after exercise.

And also dead. But you know. At least the survivors will be reasonably fed, once they further survive Dhblah's food.

I never thought about writing this down as a recipe before because I've been doing it for a while, to the point where it's second nature. My mother always made yogurt this way, because we were too poor to afford the nice, not runny, not watery yogurt, and I've always made it basically the same way. I *have* however discovered several tweaks for adjusting the thickness of the yogurt, and to compensate for low quality milk.

The basic premise is this: You take cow’s milk of any kind, low fat or whole or whatever, and you apply heat to it to thicken it a bit and warm it up for the live bacteria. Then you let it cool so you don’t scorch the poor buggers. When it’s cooled to a blood warmth, you add in what’s called the starter culture, or your little single serving Fage or Chobani. Then you cover it up and wait until the culture eats its way through the milk and produces 2 things: Yogurt, and whey. You can mix those up to make a yogurt drink, or you strain out the whey for thicker yogurt. 

This is a good recipe if you want to use up milk that's about to go off, and you really don't need to adjust it very much. If you're using less than a half gallon of milk, throw in the whole single serving tub anyway. If you're using more, double up as necessary. I use a single serving container of starter yogurt because they tend to be on sale for less than a dollar, which is excellent.

If you're lazy and just want a yogurt drink, you don't have to fuss with this beyond the slow cooker part. Just stir in your sweetener once you've finished the overnight culture, and pour into a bottle. If you want yogurt you can spoon, and even perhaps fork, you'll have to strain it anywhere from 2-5 hours. The longer the strain, the thicker the yogurt. You will also want to strain it extra long, with the cheesecloth and a wire mesh strainer. YES, you need both, or the cheesecloth will sag into the whey.

You get whey if you strain it. I dilute it 5 parts water to 1 part whey and I pour it on my citrus plants as fertilizer. I've heard you can drink it, but I don't worship Brodin.

For really thick yogurt, you want to add 1 packet of gelatin right before turning on the heat at all. Just stir it in. During the heating part, you may also want to let it cook for the full 3 hours. You can also let it strain for up to 8 hours for yogurt cheese, which I enjoy but the husband hates, because it's essentially cream cheese and it reminds him of throw up. I, child of third world countries, don't mind the texture. Your mileage may vary.

For low quality milk, try adding gelatin, or straining it more, or using a blender if you want a yogurt drink.

Ultrapasteurized milks tend to not be as smooth, and be more watery in general. You also want to get a really high quality starter yogurt if you can help it - it MUST have live cultures, or the recipe won't work.

You will definitely need the abovementioned cheesecloth and wire mesh if you desire thick yogurt, but if you don't, the bare minimum you need is a slow cooker. I also recommend having binder clips, as shown above, to help the cheesecloth stay in place. The pot method requires lots of stirring and thermometer-watching, which is fairly tedious and much more unforgiving.

I also like to bake throughout the evening, and by the time I'm done the oven is pleasantly warm (NOT scorching). So I put my slow cooker crock pot in there, with a towel to make it extra snuggly. You can even leave it near a computer area, which tends to be warmer than other parts of the house, or a recently showered-in bathroom.

DO NOT ADD ANYTHING OTHER THAN GELATIN TO THE MILK BEFORE THE ENTIRE PROCESS IS COMPLETE. No, you can't get creative with fruit. Any other ingredient can mess with the delicate live cultures and prevent them from doing their work, so save all the fancy stuff for the finished product.

INGREDIENTS

Half gallon cow's milk (any kind)

1 single serving thing of yogurt (with live cultures!!)

1 packet gelatin (optional)

METHOD

Pour milk into slow cooker. Add gelatin if desired.

Set cooker on low, cover, and let milk heat for 2-3 hours.

Turn off slow cooker, and let sit for 2-3 hours (equivalent to previous cook time).

Scoop a cup of cooked milk into a separate bowl. Gently stir single serving yogurt into bowl.

Pour cup of milk/yogurt into slow cooker. Stir thoroughly. Replace cooker lid.

Wrap towel around slow cooker and leave it somewhere warm, for 6-8 hours, or overnight.

Strain, if desired, for 2-4 hours in the refrigerator.

Pour into airtight glass containers. Add liquid sweetener of choice. Refrigerate for 4 hours at minimum.

This movie is a movie that changes with you as you grow up. I saw it as a young lass, and thought it was a fun, if a bit morose, film about a young witch. Basically, I went "ooo" at the pretty pictures. As I grew into a doubting teenager, I saw it as a capsule of my (lack of) self esteem, and commiserated with Kiki when she moped around. When I finally fruited into a haphazard adult, the story's themes finally hit my head with a resounding clang. Of COURSE it was about growing up! It was about growing up and growing in. I took comfort in Kiki's attempts to be adult, in that no one really gets it right all the time. It's hard, boring, sometimes depressing work. Even doing the things you love can wear down on your soul. I got all that and more, even from this ostensible children's movie.

Kiki specifically talks about eating pancakes as a down-on-her-luck thing, lamenting that she would have to eat pancakes forever if she didn't make enough money. I did eat nothing but badly-made wheat pancakes for months in college, which basically proved her thesis. Truth be told, you can use box mix like she did, especially if  it's on deep sale. Just put in 2-3 drops of vanilla extract to liven up the taste a bit. There's nothing wrong with box mix; it's a great way to learn the muscle memory and the methodology behind cooking while not fussing over ingredients, and it's also an excellent time saver.

I do prefer to make my own since it's cheaper once you spread out the cost of ingredients, and it also allows me to tweak the recipe to my exact specifications. And box mix or homemade pancakes can be frozen for later when wrapped individually in cling film, making a lovely microwaveable snack!

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Pinch salt

2 tbsp white sugar

3 tsp baking powder

2 tbsp vegetable oil

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup whole milk

1 cup water

METHOD

Mix dry ingredients.

In separate bowl, combine wet ingredients.

Make a well in dry bowl and pour in wet ingredients.

Stir until barely combined. (Lumps are fine!)

Allow to rise for 3-5 minutes.

Heat nonstick pan over medium heat.

Drop about 1/3 cup of batter into pan.

Cook one side until pancake bubbles and slides around easily.

Flip and cook opposite side.