i put the sad in salad

1.

“Okay, and who’s the president?”

“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”

“It’s okay, you know who he is.”

2.

“Who’s the president?”

“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….

“Yup, good enough.”

3.

“And who’s the president,”

“Not fuckin’ Obama!”

“I feel ya.”

4.

“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“

“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”

“Oh, well, alright then.”

5. (My personal favorite)

“Who’s the president?”

“Ew.”

They’re basically a literary prank– the sentence starts out in such a way that you think you know where it’s going, but the way it ends completely changes the meaning while still being a complete and logical sentence. Usually it deals with double meanings, or with words that can be multiple parts of speech, like nouns and verbs or nouns and adjectives.

So we get gems like

The old man the boat. (The old people are manning the boat)

The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families. (The apartment complex is home to both married and single soldiers, plus their families)

The prime number few. (People who are excellent are few in number.)

The cotton clothing is usually made of grows in Mississipi. (The cotton that clothing is made of)

The man who hunts ducks out on weekends. (As in he ducks out of his responsibilities)

Sketch commission for @cherstal for GW2 gold \o/

Luthyris & Runlitheil (Brothers) // Greer Ashwood & Luthyris (Boyfriends)

Hope you like them ^^

–

the only difference between ‘m’ and ‘n’ is that the latter is formed with the tongue, while the former is produced with the lips 

Also when Odahviing is talking to you, you can see him raising the front portion of his snout to bare his teeth in a(n albeit threatening) smile, so I feel there’s flexibility there too, like a bird’s upper beak given all of that information, it’s now obvious as to why Skyrim dragons have learned to never laugh or show happiness ever