Babe are you okay I saw you reblogging "here's the life I've always longed for"

Pangaea was wasted on the dinosaurs. Imagine the railway network.

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

personally if i was deeply in love with a guy and managed to get with half of his family but not him despite our intense sexual chemistry i’d throw a fit and murder him too

i hate that working out actually makes you feel better

Me: dangling hand off bed Demon: *grabs it* Me: what are we

bummed that i am a bit of a freak. also glad i am a bit of a freak. does this make sense

starting to think I may actually have some issues and even perhaps problems

@kingofthewilderwest

I really do love that people have legitimately always just been people. Like how many angry breakup texts have their been that end with “Come get your stuff or I’m donating it to goodwill”? People never change.

This is my new breakup format

Fuck him and his harem. I hope Nisaba made you #1 wife, baby

screaaaming me

“pick up your flax shawls and sandals or else I will donate them to the temple of the moon god” idk why but this bit in particular is SENDING me humans have literally always been the same

the human body is amazing u can just not sleep for 48 hours straight and all that happens is that you go crazy and are dying