jae

it has come to my attention there exists a subset of reenactors who go around renaissance faires "infecting" bystanders with the Plague. i wish to thank these heroes for their service

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

it's funny when ppl screencap a post where op turned off the reblogs and that version gets tons of notes, bc i can guarantee you 90 percent of the time it's because the original op was getting all kinds of bullshit in their inbox/notifs/etc because of it. it's like seeing a cursed necklace that someone shed and being like "why would someone throw out this beautiful necklace!? let me wear it right now"

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

"only 90s kids remember-" wrong, if you're poor and/or rural enough, old tech and fashion doesn't just disappear when it stops being trendy. We had dial-up until 2012

If you are from Clacton and can vote please please PLEASE vote Binface it would be so fucking funny

instead of climbing it like a rope, the slinky curls become stairs

Gaga couldve just said lets have some fun this beat is sick i wanna take a ride on your penis dick. But she went with disco stick because shes a what? poet.

i would hate to be a big fish in a small pond because that’s uncomfortable and i would hate to be a small fish in a big pond because that’s scary. why can’t they just make a pond that’s proportionate to my size

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products

Unironically, Count Binface is restoring faith in democracy: Professional grifter and fascist Nigel Farage called a by-election to distract from his upcoming corruption investigation, only for everybody to step aside due to the farce it was EXCEPT for our saviour Count Binface (who no longer can go by Lord Buckethead due to a copyright dispute), running on a pisstake platform. BECAUSE he is the only other candidate, BBC News and other outlets have to give him the screentime they would normally reserve for the red carpet of Nige, and it's fucking amazing. A cretinous racist who wanted to start this year by showing his party is serious and has widespread appeal as "the party of the people" and that he is "the prime minister we need" is now going to be spending the next three weeks arguing with a bin, who put up 500 quid to run for a giggle, and the best part is that his party of fucking coat-tail riding dead-eyed goons are tearing themselves asunder demanding to know which "leftist agitator" and "establishment shill" is funding Count Binface. Clacton, please. Please elect him

does any one want to play toys with me

ohhh boy this is the most fun i’ve had