kiss a lizard.

the way trump is talking abt hillary makes him sound like a scorned lover lmao what if monica wasn’t bill’s only side bitch??

you gotta be fucking kidding me

just saw gayporn where the bald bottom had a toilet plunger stuck to the back of his head to imitate hair pulling. i feel like a peasant seeing a gun for the first time in the 1300s

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

DON’T STOP ME NOW!

#sweet dee apologist

i'm like 20+ rewatches in possibly more but let's keep that conservative estimate. every time i desire her carnally a little bit more

@thedovahcat

clown gets home after a long day. tired, sweaty. peels off their colorful overalls on the way to the bathroom. gets in the shower and turns the knob. burst of confetti & ribbons from the showerhead. clown sighs. dries off with a long chain of hankies

she can barely get the door open before her 4 balloon dogs are squeaking in a pile in the foyer

she turns the knob on the stove and a few soft honks are heard before the burner ignites

she tries the wrong burner and it's a joy buzzer

she finally finishes making a pie for dinner, sets herself a place, sits down at the table, says clown grace, pours a glass of wine, takes a sip, arranges her napkin, & smashes the pie into her own face

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury