My common sense is tingling

From the author: “This book is full of blank pages. Despite years of research, we could not find anything to say on this subject, so please feel free to use this book for notes.”

Aries: Tomorrow will be a buncha bullshit, but you’ll have a nice lunch so theres that.

Taurus: Let me set the record straight. Being trampled is not fun. If you think it is fun you are wrong. Make your life a no-trample zone.

Gemini: You are an emotional Gauss rifle, whatever that means. The stars weren’t clear.

Cancer: Its weird how when you’re sick people tell you to get more “fluids”. Blood is a fluid. I don’t need any blood, I have more than enough thank you.

Leo: Seek the comfort of garage-sale furniture. Their divots and impressions hold a subtle and familiar magic.

Virgo: If you swing that way, nothing brightens a day like a punk girl having an orgasm. Food for thought.

Libra: One can quickly fashion a mace by placing a billiard ball in a sock. Not saying you’ll need this, but don’t forget it.

Scorpio: Everyone looks good in eyeliner, its simply a question of how practiced the hand is.

Ophiuchus: In a world where most communication is through text, the greatest asset one can have is Voice.

Sagittarius: Everyone has “a guy” who will fix that for ya for $40 and a case of beer. Listen. Trust in the Tao of the Guy.

Capricorn: Don’t drink and drive, or an angry Irish monk will find you and personally break your kneecaps with a baseball bat.

Aquarius: Spicy porkchops and sweet applesauce form a whole that is greater than their parts. The bad and the good may combine to form something better.

6th of December: Wade Wilson and Peter Parker.