signs & wonders

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

i can handle one (1) Event™ per day. whether it be a phone call, an appointment, trip to the grocery store, play date with a friend, etc. only one, that's it. any more than that and i am Stressed

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

did you know that stimulation on your gums feels pleasurable? It's not a normal kind of pleasure but it does feel kind of nice doesn't it? can you imagine having your jaw gently held while I look at your mouth, squeeze your jaw to open it? can you imagine the strange sensation of having a toothbrush pushed in - like an invasion of your mouth? I'll tell you that you're doing good for me and to hold still and suddenly there's a faint buzzing while you drool and I gently work the brush against your teeth. it's methodical and gentle, slow. you start to realize that you want this every night.

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial