F E L I X

my biggest kink is when someone tells me they’re obsessed w me

went to a flower market yesterday and while walking back with an armful of flowers I passed by a yard sale where I bought a picnic basket for a dollar and I put my flowers in the basket and walked home feeling like maybe life is beautiful

omg im cold and have no one to talk to thats so richard papen of me

Hey you. You should irrevocably surrender your humanity to become a creature.

reblog if you make occasional posts

Sometimes I still hear my voice

Bought a potion claiming to divide my immortal soul into good and evil so I may finally be free of all that plagues me but it actually just gave a face to all of my worst impulses. I can't believe companies can get away with such blatant false advertising what a fucking rip off🙄

Did you at least become green OP

didn't even turn me green all i got was a deathly pallor and shorter

Jesus christ im sorry. you know if I were you I would beat the shit out of the seller and demand a refund

Wow! What a great idea! And thanks to the potion changing my appearance I won't have to deal with the consequences of my actions!

uh oh

Chemicals cannot hurt you. It’s so safe. Acid burns aren’t real. And neither are noxious gasses. It’s so safe to play with chemicals. I definitely did not create those monsters that are tearing up the village. All of these burns and scars and patched up wounds are completely unrelated. Completely unrelated.

*pointing, laughing* this idiot doesn't realize that the extraordinary exists even within the mundane

how are people mean to stuffed animals one time i was trying to clean up my room and tried to justify giving away a stuffed animal by saying 'well its a little ugly' and immediately i was just overwhelmed with monstrous guilt and i understood the concept of a catholic hell and i was going there

Can you explain this gap in your blog history

I was employed.

Motherfucker effortlessly whipped out a balloon animal while talking about entropy and looking like a regular contributor to the Washington Post. I wish him nothing but the best in life

love witnessing my mannerisms rub off on ppl like yes!!!! my disease is spreading!!!!

devastating that you can live somewhere and then move away and someone else moves in and they live there and you don’t live there anymore but you lived there once

the joker as an ant would be like. we live in a colony

the joker as an ant would be like. say hello to my girlfriend. harley queen

the joker as an ant would be like. you wanna know how I got these scars? me and my search party were gathering food from a picnic when the deal went south. my buds got squashed and I fell into a bottle of gatorade, woulda drowned if they hadn’t knocked it over. just one bad day man

the joker as an ant would be like. i hate bats

more?

Sorry for being so annoying and questioning everything my academic brain has a little imp inside it that yells “SOURCE??” whenever I see a claim