oh no not you

stop following me if you got any astrology or kpop in your url please

sure thing, stickynutjuice

imma tell jimin you said his boy jungkook got a boy pussy in your fan fic

me eating a pringles

me, pressing the side of my head into my cat’s side: you sound like a car… i love you, motor boy

a stray cat showed up in my garden earlier and i named him todd howard as a joke but now i have to live with this because my stepfather just said “todd howard didnt eat the cat food i left out for him”

i’m not into star wars but the person that plays rey has the same name as two characters that will never be in smash bros

i’m gonna go back in time and kick my own ass

What the fuck??

those are his hooves you b*tch

man this dude was so heated they regressed to their past life as caesar, scourge of gaul

i like how this post hit peak tumblr post formatting in under 500 notes

i crave simple things in life like fresh sourdough bread with a shallow but ornate dipping bowl containing olive oil/balsamic/fresh herbs on a moonlit evening overlooking the sea in some fuckall, Mediterranean location where i’m left alone to eat my bread and let the iodine from the sea air heal my torn up spirit & also six hundred million dollars in unmarked duffle bags stuffed into a swiss bank account box i receive for completing a job of dubious morality