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My partner got shot.

The employee you were with? Please tell me you left them to bleed out.

Well, yeah. We were at a big pharmacy and everything.

So what stopped you?

I wish my supply run went better.

Are you really surprised though?

You’re fucking kidding me, right? I didn’t realize I was talking to an after school special. Why don’t you run along and ruin some other people’s time, hobbit.

I'll be hard pressed to find someone less clever.

Asshat, that’s great, I remember when I was twelve and swore at people on xbox.

Do you think smoking makes you look older? Cuz it will. It really, really will.

And original I know, but seriously, how old are you?

I'm twenty-five, ya asshat.

How do you know what sex even is? You look like, fourteen.

Really? Fourteen? Hilarious.

Jesus fuck, sounds like a pack of rabid hyenas

Pretty gross.

Did you hear that?

I think it's just the neighbors fucking.

But God and Jesus and the Saints do make me feel fulfilled and happy, that’s what you don’t understand. I love my Savior and my faith in Him and His word keeps me from falling into the depression that the rest of this town seems to have. I just wish everyone else would see how much better they’d feel if they put their trust in Him.

Uh-huh. Wanna see what we can find for lunch?

Is it just that hard for you to be optimistic about anything?

I'm optimistic about the fact that someday you'll realize that all this religion stuff was designed to keep you from ever being truly fulfilled and happy.

Maybe I should pray for that bad attitude of yours while I’m at it.

Only if you enjoy unanswered prayers.

While I’m praying for everyone’s safe return, I’m also praying for some flour and sugar.

Nothing better to do I guess.

Enlighten me, Piper. If you’re not a drinker how do you spend your time?

Oh you know, the usual straight edge activities- judging the shit out of everyone and dealing with an unquenchable loathing for humanity.

Well I’m sure as hell not the most annoying person in town.

True. This is true.

You get me, Piper. I hope I’m not being an annoying bitch to you.

Not really a bitch- just annoying.