hal, it’s about cats

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

Leather fetishes are back in cuz everything is polyester these days.. touching real HQ material in 2026 is enough to give anyone a little sexual zing

Because wdym the bag I bought 300€ is 70% polyester ??? I'm like ''oh buying luxury is okay it's good quality'' but bullshittt it's just overpriced for no reason

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

(military recruiter tarot card reader in august of 2001) *draws The Tower* *draws a second The Tower* now that's not supposed to happen

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

*widely praised poetic quote in a foreword by a usamerican translator voice* see this language.... it's not like other languages. sometimes it has metaphors. or abstract thinking. sometimes a word has several meanings. sometimes a lot of meaning can be condensed into two words. sometimes those words even have etymologies. sometimes if you translate idioms or break down the components of words you can get something pretty cool in english. and naturally this gives us essential insight into the timeless national character of its people

terrifying when you watch a movie or a show or whatever & youre like that was fun but it felt a little redundant they didnt need to hammer the point home that much & then you go online & theres thousands of people going that was so weird i did not get it what did that mean google.com ending explained please?

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault