Pinky's Plan

Tumblr should never have given us polls. Everyday I have to see years-old polls cross my dash proudly proclaiming past-me's vote which I now disagree with. Let me change my vote!! I have rethought which Tetris piece is the sexiest.

love seeing revisionism in the wild “free the nipple never meant you can walk around topless every where that’s still sexual harassment it just meant for like breastfeeding and stuff”no it literally means you should be able to walk around topless anywhere because get this. breasts aren’t fucking sexual organs.

>go right

>go left instead (looks nice and fun!)

>...go back to the right

Go left

Go forward

> Ascend

Go right ->

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

I imagine if the fae existed, Jews and especially rabbis would have a lot easier time dealing with them than gentiles.

If you need an exorcism you find a catholic priest. If you need to get fae contract divorced, you find a rabbi.

I am not Jewish, but I would buy every book of a series featuring a rabbi who has a side job dealing with the Fae.

The Exorcist and the Rabbi are partners... When the problem is talkative the Rabbi takes the lead, when the problem is violent the Exorcist is in their element.

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

they kicked me out of the blunt rotation because i had an eerie dick and a creaking ass

theres gotta be context for this why did i say it like actually

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

Getting dumped really puts children's cartoon villains into perspective. Like dude you're SO right, love and caring ARE disgusting and we SHOULD cast a spell to drain all human emotion into your amulet.

Friend breakups are how you get lines like "Your friends? You think your friends are coming to save you? Don't make me laugh."

they really gave us a female lead in a star wars movie & made her kind and good and angry and powerful and complex & then spent the next 2 movies revolving almost her entire storyline around a white male war criminal who abused her, abused her friends, abused her family. all the while validating all the people who romanticized gaslighting and torture. for fan service lmao 

they also gave us a strong black male lead who was kind and rebelled against his entire way of life when he saw the atrocities he was expected to take part in. He risked his life to save others and was shown to love and care deeply for his friends and willing to sacrifice himself to save him. Then the next two movies infantilize him to be this weak self preserving side character with literally no agency beyond yelling other character’s names.

They also gave us a Latino sci-fi hero who was an ace fighter pilot with a heart of gold and a wealth of courage who showed an incredible amount of support and kindness and trust towards a man who he had just met. Then the next two movies relegated him to being a chronic fuck-up and then ret-conned his ace pilot backstory in service of a racist drug dealer backstory to make him more like Han Solo

I’ve known this post longer than I’ve known most of my friends