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I have two theories about the scar on his body. Either it's the result of an organ transplant, because tyrants need heart replacements due to their increased muscle mass.

Or it’s an autopsy suture. If so, that means Victor was already dead by the time the parasite was implanted in him, meaning there’s no way he could have infected himself. Which raises even more questions. How did this happen to him? What did he die of? The guy is literally Frankenstein’s monster. He was dead, his body was dissected, and then he was reanimated by injecting the T-virus and the NE-γ parasite.

Apparently, Victor is infected with the same T-virus strain as the other zombies in the game. This strain doesn't have a name, nor is there any detailed information about it. All we know is that it allows the infected to partially retain their consciousness and personality traits. Just like the cleaning lady endlessly wiping down mirrors in the restroom or the chef chopping meat, the reanimated Victor became fixated on his last action: fulfilling Spencer's ideas. That being said, his intelligence wasn't impaired, and he managed to fully preserve his former personality thanks to the NE-γ parasite.

His teeth deserve a special mention. They look like a firecracker went off in his mouth; he also has extra fangs on his upper jaw and one extra incisor on the lower one. Were they always like that, or is it a result of mutation? I still lean toward his teeth looking this way specifically because of the T-virus. This unnamed strain affects teeth in a certain way:

• The infected cop at the beginning spits out his teeth;

• Killed zombies eventually mutate into "Blister Heads" with multiple teeth on their palate.

So Victor's teeth likely deformed during mutation when his bones grew and rapidly increased in size. Also, these are his real teeth, not prosthetics- they just have gold veneers on them. In some places, the coating has worn off, revealing the enamel underneath.

His forked tongue, however, feels like it was caused by the parasite. The parasite also affected his senses, sharpening his sense of smell.

Due to his massive height (2.25 m / 7'4"), he definitely has joint problems, since the increased body weight must put a massive strain on them. You can see in the game that Victor moves a bit stiffly, especially in the scene where he kicks down the door after a fleeing Grace.

I’ll make a separate post about his eyes and the peculiarities of his vision. Here I'll just say briefly: he has very serious problems with his eyes.

And one more fascinating fact about those infected with the T-virus:

t-Virus mutants are almost unanimously infertile, while "G" mutants are capable of asexual reproduction.

So, on top of everything else, Victor is sterile. But don't celebrate just yet - having unprotected sex with him is a terrible idea. Short answer: he is contagious. More on that in another post as well.

Now, let’s look closer at the Nemesis. First, answer this question: where exactly is Victor's parasite located? If you think it’s in his chest, the text below is written specially for you.

First, let's figure out what the Nemesis actually is and what it's used for. Time for a nerdy lore.

Nemesis Project staff created this species as a work-around for brain damage and mental degradation, a common result of t-Virus infection.

The inspiration of the project was that of Las Plagas, a parasitic species present in regional Spanish folklore which would hook itself to the spinal cord to control or influence the host, and break out through the neck to defend themselves if need be. The NE-α were genetically engineered to mimic these qualities.

Upon entering the bio-weapon's spinal cord, it hijacks the T-virus-infected cells, grows, and forms its own brain near the medulla oblongata. Simultaneously, it invades the central nervous system, destroying the host's frontal lobe and altering the neural circuits to link all remaining brain functions with their own. In this way, Nemesis takes over the host's thoughts and completely controls its body.

Meaning, the entire purpose of the Nemesis is to control the host's mind. Unlike the Plaga, which is injected into a living human, the Nemesis is implanted into a T-virus-infected body specifically to prevent intellectual decay. Implanting it into the chest simply makes absolutely no sense.

Another difference between the Nemesis and a Plaga is that it attaches to the brainstem. A Plaga, on the other hand, settles in the human body just below the heart between the lungs, where it anchors into the host's spinal cord to hijack the nervous system. This is likely where the misconception that Victor's parasite is located in his chest comes from.

Going back to the scar on Victor’s body and its origin. Just like the Plaga, the NE parasite is introduced into the host's body at an embryonic stage. You don't need to cut open the abdomen for this; a regular injection is more than enough.

Unfortunately, there is no information in the game about this new Gamma-type parasite. Its mechanism can only be inferred through external signs and Victor's behavior. So, everything written below is purely my own speculation and headcanon.

The main difference with NE-γ is that it's an upgraded version of the parasite that doesn’t suppress the host's brain, but rather works in symbiosis with it. At least until the host suffers severe injuries.

In the original "Nemesis" project, the parasite took full control of the body, turning the host into a controlled killing machine. The NE-γ is likely modified to act merely as a "bio-processor" for regeneration and physical strength, leaving the cerebral cortex completely intact.

In addition to that, it also acts as a sort of barrier between the T-virus in the body and the brain, protecting it from decay.

Actually, intelligent Nemeses have been mentioned in the games before:

Restarting the Nemesis Project, Umbrella Europe requisitioned several of the new T-103 clones to serve as test subjects. The NE-α parasites implanted within their bodies succeeded in hijacking brain functions without killing the hosts. Soon after this procedure, however, at least two of the Nemesis-T Types demonstrated completely unexpected senses of ego and self-awareness, and made an attempt to escape from their laboratory.

Apparently, after seizing Umbrella's assets, The Connections refined the parasite, creating the Nemesis-γ, which allowed for the complete preservation of cognitive brain functions. Furthermore, as noted in the catalog, this model is less expensive to produce and is mass-manufactured. Which means that somewhere in the Resident Evil universe, other intelligent Nemeses like Victor must exist.

Victor was able to retain his personality after infection. This leads me to conclude that the NE-γ doesn't perform such drastic rewirings of the nervous system; it simply attaches to the brainstem and responds to commands.

But that doesn't mean it has zero influence on the host. You can witness the parasite at work during the helicopter scene when Zeno tasks Victor with dealing with Leon. Those facial twitches from Victor aren't just irritation or a nervous tic - it's the direct influence of the Nemesis. Victor is clearly unhappy that Zeno is dumping his workload onto him, but he cannot disobey or exert his own will.

Frankly, this capacity of the parasite to obey orders raises a whole bunch of questions for me about how it actually works. I mean, I can picture them showing Nemesis photos of S.T.A.R.S. members and telling him to kill them, after which he just goes and gets the job done. But Victor is a far more intelligent being, with his own will and desires. What if he refuses and starts resisting an order? Can he even resist at all?

How strong is this mind control over Victor? Do any orders from any person work? Or does he only obey Zeno? And what forms the basis of this connection? If the Nemesis was designed after the Plaga, where a dominant strain could control other parasites, does that mean the same principle applies here? Meaning, Zeno would have to host a different parasite that Victor's Nemesis perceives as dominant.

I know that Tyrants were capable of being trained and could execute a limited range of commands:

T-103 models were used as bodyguards, assassins sent to hunt specific individuals, Umbrella agents sent to acquire important objects, and hard-muscle for tackling armed opposition.

But I haven't been able to find any info on how Nemeses are trained or programmed.

So many unanswered questions. But what a vast field for imagination (Zedeon shippers, I'm giving you some food for thought here).

Still, my personal take is that Zeno injected himself with - if not a parasite - some kind of substance that Victor's Nemesis reacts to. This allows for a limited level of control. The parasite probably only recognizes commands related to tracking and neutralizing targets, while the host retains relative autonomy otherwise. So, it's not the total mind control, as it might initially appear.

By the way, Zeno lost his powers after injecting Elpis, which means his control over the Nemesis was lost too. That’s why Victor kills him so easily at the end. Perhaps up until that moment, Victor was held back from killing Zeno by a set of commands programmed during his initial infection - along the lines of "do not turn against your boss," etc. But now, all the restrictors were gone, Zeno no longer held power over him, and his head flew right off his shoulders.

Before this, I intentionally sidestepped the topic of regeneration. Yes, the Nemesis speeds up wound healing, but the consequences aren't exactly pleasant. If an injury is too severe and the Nemesis can't keep up, it can trigger uncontrollable mutation and a subsequent loss of sanity.

However, the effects of continual t-Virus exposure means that the more times Nemesis-T is injured, the greater it will mutate. Unlike most Tyrant series who usually develop thicker skin and clawed arms, the Nemesis Alpha's tentacles became larger to serve as a weapon, but at the cost of damaging the brain-stem.

In the finale, we see Victor with a torn arm and a crushed head. A few gashes stand out on his forehead, and judging by the amount of blood covering his face, the wounds are pretty deep. His brain definitely took a hit in the process. I’d even venture to guess that Victor actually died in that crash and was reanimated by the parasite. The Nemesis completely invaded the cerebral cortex, copying his personality traits and hijacking control of the body. So the person we see is no longer truly Victor. He’s more like a pale shadow of himself.

Essentially, the same thing happened to him as to Marcus, whose body was absorbed by Queen Leech.

The Plaga works on the same principle:

Unless the host's brain is destroyed or compromised, the plagan influence is not absolute, allowing them to continue their daily routines.

Victor's brain was clearly damaged, and the parasite took over its functions. That explains his bizarre behavior in the finale. He speaks and acts differently than he does in the rest of the game, and even his facial expressions change.

If he retained any remnants of humanity before, the moment that tentacle sprouted, he ceased to be himself. His voice distorts and starts sounding monstrous. And as the boss fight progresses, the more tentacles rip out of him, the more his speech degrades. At first, he throws out more or less coherent lines, but as he transitions into phase two, he can barely get the words out and mostly just roars like a beast. By the end, he completely loses the ability to speak, and his eyes roll around chaotically like a zombie's, proving his brain has suffered irreparable damage.

I cracked up when I heard some YouTube breakdown claim that Victor was fully conscious at that moment. Right, sure - just look at this guy, he's totally fine.

To sum it up, the parasite that had been sitting quietly in the back of Victor's head sprouted (like a potato) through his neck after he was wounded, bursting out of his shoulder as a tentacle and destroying his brainstem in the process. As a result, we get a completely unhinged Victor, screaming absolute nonsense about leading humanity, sacrifices, and evolution. Seriously, what kind of "sacrifices" come from an antiviral?

And why did he destroy the ARK with all the Elpis supplies if he was going to use it to cause chaos in the world?

Or is it just the Nemesis doing a terrible job of mimicking his behavior?

I notice the fandom treats the Nemesis way too lightly, like it’s just some cute little thing safely nestled in Victor’s chest, wriggling with excitement. When in reality, it's more like a ticking time bomb planted directly in your brain, ready to go off if you aren't careful enough. And under normal circumstances, it can be used to control you.

The first time he saw you was three months ago, on a street he liked to frequently get his blades sharpened. You were wrapped in pale silk, standing out among the rough crowd you didnt belong there, but you kept coming back to the armourers stall, to the weapon merchants, always lingering just long enough for him to notice. He noticed everything.

Then the yearly games began.

Every week you were in the noble seats, high above the blood soaked sand, hands folded in your lap, eyes wide and unblinking. You never cheered like the others. You just watched. Watched the way he moved, the way his axe sang through the air, the way he roared when he won. He started fighting for those eyes. Every swing, every kill, every drop of blood spilled was a message Look at me. See me. Remember me.

He learned your habits. You always wore soft colours that made your skin glow. You always left before the final fight ended, slipping away like a dream at dawn. He hated that part. He started ending fights faster just to catch one last glimpse of you leaving.

He asked around for any information about you. A soft human with delicate features, untouched, curious about the arena but too shy to speak to anyone. A virgin prize, some whispered. Untouched. Waiting. He waited too. Week after week, victory after victory, stacking bodies at his feet and gold in his purse, all so the arena master would owe him one perfect prize when the time was right. 

Tonight was the time. He saw you the moment he stepped into the sand. Same seat. Same wide curious eyes. Same pretty mouth parted in awe when he crushed his opponents skull. When the fight master asked what he wanted there was only one answer.

“Name your prize champion!” The fight masters voice boomed

The roar still echoed in the arena when Gorvaks blood coated finger pointed straight at you.

“That one,” he snarled. “Mine.”

Ten thousand voices exploded. You stood frozen in the noble seats, silk robes suddenly too thin, heart battering against bone. Before you could stand, before you could even breathe you felt arms grabbing onto you, dragging you towards the victor of this years games. As you stood infront of the towering orc you had to pretend the smell of the iron from the blood staining his green skin didnt bother you in fear of what he might do yet the thought of just what exactly would he do if you did show fear made you aroused just a tiny bit. One massive hand closed around your wrist and pulled. You stumbled after him down the dark tunnels, heart hammering and silk tearing on the rough stone. You opened your mouth to protest, but no sound came. He never once slowed. 

The chamber door slammed shut behind you as he pushed you inside. Once inside you only had a few moments to look around the room as gorvak walked to put his weapons away, Gorvaks chamber seemed to be carved from the same dark stone as the arena tunnels, but the space feels more like a den than a room. The floor is almost entirely covered in thick, overlapping furs a black wolf, white bear, and one massive spotted pelt from some beast you dont recognize. They are soft and smell faintly of smoke, pine, and him and that makes you hotter all of a sudden, blaming the already lit fireplace by a wall for the increase in temperature. Weapons line the walls a massive double headed axe, several shorter throwing axes, and a few other weapons all within arms reach. Their edges catch the firelight like hungry smiles.

In the far corner you spot a sunken stone tub wide enough for an orc and whoever he chooses to share it with, fed by a bronze pipe that drips constantly, keeping the water steaming even when no one tends it. 

The sound of something dropping snapped you out of the silent judgment of his room you turned to face him and gasp, Gorvak had dropped his leather covering and was standing with his cock out heavy and dark, flushed with victory, a bead of clear fluid already pearling at the slit. Your feet seemingly rooted to the ground as he took a few wide strides in your direction, your eyes wide and your palms sweaty in fear of what he was planning to do only for him to walk past you as he stepped into the tub, sank down with a hiss, and fixed you with burning golden eyes. 

“Draw it hotter,” he commanded. “Then come here. A wife washes the blood off her husband before he breeds her.” 

You stayed rooted in the center of the room, arms wrapped around yourself. Your voice came out small. “I…I dont–”

His eyes snapped to yours, molten gold. “I said hotter.”

The command cracked through the room like a whip. Your feet moved before your mind caught up. You twisted the bronze tap. Boiling water thundered in raising clouds of pine scented steam. When the tub was full you turned back, hugging yourself tighter.

Gorvak watched every tremble.

“Take off your robes and get in.”

You shook your head, just once. The movement felt tiny and useless

A low growl rumbled from his chest. “I waited months for you little wife. Im not waiting another heartbeat.” 

Your fingers found the silk ties. They shook so badly you fumbled twice. Finally the robe slipped from your shoulders and pooled at your feet. Cool air kissed skin that had never been bare for anyone. You stepped in quickly the heat shocked you red. A small, frightened sound escaped your throat. Gorvak caught you by the waist before your knees buckled, steadying you between his spread thighs letting the water hide you to the breasts.

Gorvaks hand rose, slow enough that you could have flinched away. You didnt. Calloused fingers cupped your chin, tilting your face up. 

“Good,” he rumbled. “You learn.” 

He handed you the soap and cloth. You washed him with shaking hands broad chest, scarred arms, the thick column of his throat the fresh cuts that made him hiss. His skin burned under your palms, every swipe revealed more of the warrior who had just killed for the right to own you and you didnt know whether to fear that fact or be aroused by it. When the cloth drifted lower and brushed the tip of his cock, you jerked back. He groaned, head falling back, but kept his hands on the rim, letting you explore the thing that would claim you tonight. He then grabbed your wrist keeping your hand on his cock. “Keep going.” 

You swallowed, but your hands obeyed. Soap and water made him slick you stroked once, twice, clumsy with terror and possibly something hotter ’must be the water’. His groan vibrated through the water. When your courage faltered he guided your grip, showing you exactly how he liked it, slow and firm until his hips flexed and the head of his cock breached the surface like a threat.

“Enough” he rasped.

He hauled you forward. You straddled his lap before you could think, water sloshing over the rim. The blunt head of him nudged your entrance. You tried to pull back his hands locked on your hips he stilled instantly, Gorvak felt the tremor in your thighs the moment you settled on his lap, the moment the blunt head of his cock pressed against untouched flesh.

“No,” he said, voice low but iron hard. “Not like this.”

You tried to hide your face against his wet shoulder, mortified at the tears already spilling. He cupped the back of your head instead, keeping you close, letting you feel the thunder of his heart. “Listen to me, little wife. I have waited months to claim you. I will not tear what is mine on the first night.” 

With one arm banded around your waist he lifted you clear off his cock as easily as lifting a bird, ignoring your startled gasp. Water splashed down your joined bodies as he turned you, settling you on the wide stone bench inside the tub so you sat facing him, knees drawn up, thighs trembling. 

“Open,” he ordered softly.

You shook your head, arms crossing over your chest. “I…I cant. Im not… Ive never–”

Something flickered across his face, raw almost pained. He leaned forward until his forehead rested against yours, tusks framing your cheeks. He didnt repeat himself. He simply took your knees in his huge hands and parted them himself, slow but unstoppable, until you were bared to the steaming air and his burning gaze. Tears welled and spilled before you could stop them. “Im scared,” you whispered. “I dont know how to be what you want.” His thumbs brushed the tears from your cheeks, smearing them across your skin like war paint. 

“I waited months” he went on, voice dropping to something reverent and terrible. “Watched you sit in those seats week after week, soft and curious and untouched. Every time you looked at me I thought one day Ill have her trembling under me, terrified and wet and mine.

Your sob caught in your throat.

He drew back just enough to meet your eyes. “Tell me to stop and I will carry you to the furs and hold you until morning. No more. But if you stay here, if you let me open you, understand what it means. I will never be satisfied with once. I will breed you tonight, tomorrow, every moon until your body forgets how to be anything but full of me. That scares you?”

You nodded, trembling.

“Good” he growled. “It should.”

The first touch was not his cock.It was one thick finger, tracing your folds with deliberate gentleness. You flinched he paused, waiting until you relaxed a fraction, then traced again, parting you, learning every shiver. “Sensitive,” he murmured, almost to himself. “Good. means youll feel everything I do to you.” 

He circled the small, untouched pearl at the top until your hips jerked without permission. Only then did he press lower, gathering your slick and his own leaking seed, spreading it everywhere. When the pad of his finger finally pressed against your entrance you tensed so hard he felt it. 

“Breathe out,” he coaxed voice rough with restraint. “Let me in.” 

You exhaled on a sob. 

“Shh” he whispered against your trembling mouth “Cry all you want. Tears taste like surrender, and I am addicted to the flavor.”

The finger slid inside, slow and steady, stretching tender flesh for the first time. It burned but not like before, the heat of the water and his patience turned the burn into a strange fluttering ache. He watched your face the entire time, golden eyes unblinking. When your brow smoothed he crooked his finger, searching and found the spot that made your back arch and a broken sound spill from your lips.

“There,” he growled satisfaction and hunger warring in his voice. “Right there. Thats where my cock will live.” 

He worked you open carefully, one finger until you rocked against his hand, then two scissoring gently, curling and stroking until your thighs fell open on their own and your hands clutched his forearms for balance instead of pushing him away. Only when your hips were chasing his touch did he add a third, stretching you wider the burn now sweet and overwhelming.

When the third finger breached you and you arched with a broken wail, he did not soothe.

He curled them hard, stroked that raw spot inside until pleasure stabbed through the pain, and growled, “Remember this feeling. Every time you think of running, remember how easily I make you come apart on my hand alone.”

You were sobbing quietly, not from pain but from the intensity of it, from the way pleasure and fear braided together until you couldnt tell them apart.

Gorvak leaned forward, tusks framing your tear streaked face, and licked a tear from your cheek.

“Beautiful,” he whispered. “My brave little wife opening so pretty for me.”

When he finally withdrew his fingers you whimpered at the loss you chased them with a helpless sound, then flushed crimson at your own greed. He saw it. His smile was slow, possessive, and utterly without mercy.

He brought them to your lips.

“Taste yourself. Taste what you made for your husband.” 

You obeyed, shy and trembling, the salty sweet flavor making you flush hotter.

You clung to him, terrified and drowning in him, and he drank it in. 

He rose then, water falling off his body and lifted you with him. One arm under your knees the other cradling your back, he stepped out of the tub and carried you to the furs still dripping. He laid you down on your back, knees bent and spread wide. 

Only then did he kneel between them, cock jutting heavy and dark, flushed with need, but his hands were steady the broad head of his cock kissing the entrance he had just prepared.

“Still scared?” he asked, voice shaking with restraint.

You nodded, tears still falling.

“Good,” he whispers, and he teases your entrance, about to claimthe prize he’s been fighting for all along. “Means you finally understand who you belong to.”

“Im going to take you now” he said, lining himself up, the broad head kissing your stretched, slick entrance. “Slow. Youll feel every inch, and youll take it, because this cunt was made for me. But you say stop and I stop. Understand?”

You nodded, biting your lip.

He pushed.

The first inch slid in on a single, controlled thrust. You cried out, fingers pawing at the furs. He froze letting you adjust, letting the burn settle. When your hips rocked the tiniest fraction he gave you another inch, his tusks scrape your throat as he leans in breath scalding.

“Every week you sat up there in those seats, thinking you were safe behind stone and silk. You werent. I counted every breath you took. I memorized the way your lips parted when I spilled blood. Every swing of my axe was a promise one day Ill drag you out of that crowd and lock you to me forever.”

You whimper. He sinks another inch and snarls against your ear.

“You don’t get to watch from a distance. You watch me from my lap, from my cock, from the crook of my arm where I claim you every night. You dont walk these streets unless my hand is on you. You dont breathe unless I allow it.”

Another inch. Your nails dig into his shoulders as tears spill a sob escapes your lips

“Say it” he growls, voice shaking with barely controlled violence. “Tell me who owns you.”

“Yours” you choke out.

"Again" he says with barely any control left

"Yours!" you say abit louder this time

"Louder little wife, they wont hear you outside like that" he says as he stops pushing his cock in making you whimper. "YOURS GORVAK! YOURS!"

He slams the rest of the way home in one brutal thrust, burying himself to the root, claiming every untouched inch. The stretch tore a cry from your throat. He was too big too hot, too everything. Halfway down you froze, tears spilling. He held you still lips brushing your temple.

“Breathe little wife. Ive got you.”

Slowly the burn melted into aching fullness. A broken moan escapes as you were flush against his hips and he was buried deeper than you thought possible.

He gave you one heartbeat to adjust, then began to move slow, grinding rolls that dragged over every raw nerve. His hands slid to your belly, pressing hard so you felt him there.

“This is where my sons will grow. I’m breeding you tonight, tomorrow, every day until your body swells with me. I want you round and dripping and leaking milk, still spreading these legs because even heavy with my child youll beg for my cock.”

His thrusts turned harder, deeper, your one fist grabbing the furs beneath you and the other on Gorvacks thick bicep.  

“You’ll never know what it feels like to be empty again. Ill fuck you awake, fuck you asleep, fuck you at the victory feasts with my war band watching so they know exactly who this belly belongs to. Ill keep you chained to my cock if I have to, plugged and full every single hour until your body has no choice but to take.

You sobbed, clinging to his shoulders, terrified and safe and aching all at once.

“Say it again” he snarled.

“Im yours,” you cried. “Only yours!”

He slammed deep and spilled with a roar, flooding you in thick endless pulses. You felt every one, felt him swell and throb and mark you inside. When he finished he stayed buried, plugging you, keeping it all.  He pulls back just enough to look down at where youre joined, your slick sticking to his lower half making his cock twitch at the obscene sight of your virgin cunt stretched tight around his girth, his spend already trying to leak out. He snarls and shoves two thick fingers alongside his cock, pushing the leaking seed back in, fucking it deeper with his fingers while you wail.

“None of it escapes. Not one fucking drop. You squeeze and you hold what I give you, little wife. You carry it. You grow it. You birth my heirs and then you open your legs again the same moon because Im never finished.”

His eyes are wild now, gold gone molten, pupils blown wide with breeding madness.

“I want ten. Fifteen. Twenty. I want your body ruined for anyone else, stretched and soft and always, always full of me. I want every orc in this city to smell me on you, in you” 

He sits back on the furs and in one smooth motion youre straddling his lap, thighs spread wide over his hips, his cock still buried to the root. The new angle drags a broken sound from your throat he swallows it with a low growl and settles his huge hands on your waist, keeping you pinned. 

“Ride me little wife” he rasps “Take whats already yours. Show me how a virgin takes her husband”

You try to move and falter, oversensitive and shaking.

Gorvaks right hand slides from your hip, slow, deliberate, until it rests palm up on the furs beside your knee. An offering. A question. A dare.

You stare at it scarred knuckles, thick green fingers that have killed men these past months, and something inside you cracks open.

Your smaller hand slips into his, trembling. Your fingers barely span half his palm, but the moment you lace them together he closes his grip like a manacle, gentle and unbreakable.

“There you are” he breathes, voice ragged with reverence.

You try to rise and your legs nearly give out. He steadies you with one iron arm banded across your lower back, guiding you up until only the fat crown stretches your entrance, then lets gravity pull you down again, slow, merciless, every inch dragging over swollen nerves until youre seated to the root and gasping. “That’s it ” he rasps, thumb stroking the back of your trapped hand. “Feel how deep I live in you now.”

He sets the rhythm slow, grinding lifts that make your thighs burn and your belly flutter, then hard drops that punch the air from your lungs and slap wet skin on skin. Each time you sink he thrusts up to meet you, forcing himself deeper, the thick head kissing your womb like a threat and a promise.

“Look at me,” he orders again.

You do, tears still falling, and he drinks them in with dark, hungry eyes.

“You’ll ride me like this every morning” he vows, thrusting up to meet you, slow and punishing. “Heavy with my son, belly round and tight, tits leaking milk down my chest while you still fuck yourself on my cock. Youll waddle through camp with my seed still dripping out of you because I took you again at dawn. Never hiding it. Never. I want every warrior to see this belly and know exactly who breeds his wife.”

Your free hand claws at his chest for balance the one he holds he lifts to his mouth, tusks scraping your knuckles, tongue licking the salt from your skin.

“Feel that?” he growls, pressing your joined hands to your lower belly so you feel him moving beneath the skin. “Thats where my army starts. Right here.”

He shifts you just a little, lifting your hips and tilting them forward.

Now every time you sink down, the thick ridge of his cock rubs hard over that one perfect spot inside you. It feels like lightning. Your breath catches, your thighs shake, and suddenly you cant help it you start moving faster, chasing that bright, hot burst of pleasure, rolling your hips again and again because you need more of it, need it so bad it hurts.

“Greedy little wife,” he laughs, dark and delighted. “Already learning how to fuck yourself on me.”

"Nngh〜 please gorvak" you whimper

His free hand slides to your ass, spreads you wider, controls the pace now, lifting and slamming you down until the furs bunch beneath his shoulders and the wet slap of your bodies echoes off stone. Seed from the first load leaks around his cock with every thrust, smearing your thighs, his hips and the furs beneath. 

You’re close, so close your vision whites out at the edges.

“Come” he snarls, slamming up hard enough to jolt your whole body. “Milk me. Pull my seed deep where it belongs.”

You shatter.

The climax rips through you like a blade, back arching, walls clenching so hard around him that he roars, hips jerking, and spills again, thick, scalding ropes painting your insides until your belly feels hot and tight and impossibly full.

He keeps moving through it, drawing out every aftershock until youre sobbing, boneless and  draped over his chest.

Only then does he still, cock still pulsing, still plugging every drop. His hand never leaves yours. He brings your joined fingers to his lips, kisses each one, tusks once again grazing tender skin.

“Second load” he whispers against your knuckles, voice hoarse. “And I’m still hard.” He rolls his hips lazily, slow and filthy, proving it. Your whimper makes him smile, slow and savage.

He presses your hand harder against the slight swell of your belly, forcing you to feel the heat of what hes already poured into you.

He still doesnt let go.

He falls back onto the furs, pulling you with him so you sprawl across his chest, still impaled, still joined hand to hand. His free arm locks around your waist, keeping you flush, keeping every drop sealed inside.

He rolls his hips lazily, still hard, still hungry.

“Third load coming, little wife,” he murmurs against your temple. “Then the fourth. Fifth. Until youre overflowing and your womb aches when I’m not inside it.”

“You’re going to give me an army,” he says, soft and lethal. “And every time you come on my cock you’ll remember who put it there.”

He kisses the inside of your wrist, right over the pulse that races for him now.

“Mine,” he says, soft and lethal. “Body. Womb. Pleasure. Pain. Future. All fucking mine.”

And then he starts again, slow, deep, endless, your hand locked in his the entire time.

The torches burn lower and lower until the room is only red embers and shadows.Gorvak never lets go of your hand. He keeps you on top of him, thighs spread wide, his thick cock buried in your sore, newly-opened body.

You were a virgin when the night began.

You are not one now, and he makes sure you feel every single moment of that truth.

He moves you slow at first, lifting your hips, letting you sink down inch by inch so you remember how it felt the first time he split you open. Your legs shake. Your breath comes in little hurt sounds. Every time you try to hide your face in his neck he pulls your hand to his lips and kisses your fingers, then makes you ride him harder.

“Again,” he growls each time you come, walls fluttering around him like youre still trying to push him out even while you pull him deeper. He spills inside you over and over hot, thick ropes that never seem to stop until your belly feels warm and tight and youre sure you can’t take any more.

But you do.

Fourth time.

Fifth time.

Sixth.

You lose count somewhere after the moon starts to fade.

Youre crying quietly now, not from pain anymore, just from how full you are, how raw, how completely his. Your thighs gave out hours ago  he just holds your hips and uses you gently, then roughly, then gently again, whispering the whole time.

“Still my virgin in every way that matters,” he rasps against your ear, voice cracked from hours of roaring. “No one else will ever have this. No one else will ever open you. No one else will ever put a child in you. Only me.”

When the first pale light slips through the high slit in the wall, youre laying over his chest, shaking, stuffed so full your belly looks softly swollen already.

His cock is still inside you, half hard, still leaking slow, steady pulses like he cant turn it off.

Gorvak kisses your wet cheeks, your swollen lips, the fresh bite on your neck that will scar.

“Morning little wife,” he murmurs, rolling his hips once, lazy and deep, drawing a broken whimper from you.

“Suns up,” he says, smiling against your hair. “Time to start again.”

And he does after giving you a nice full meal and a nice warm bath with him continuously spilling his seed inside

Outside, the war camp wakes to the low, steady sounds of their champion breeding his virgin prize again, and again, and again, until every soul in the city knows exactly who took your innocence and exactly who you belong to now.

“You know,” Law can’t help the slight smile that makes it’s way onto his face when you look at him mid-bite but he does think it’s cute, “I thought you had feelings for Penguin for a while.”

You laugh after you swallow the bite of food you have, shaking your head but still smiling. The two of you decide to stay on the ship for the night, you’ll go into town tomorrow for a lunch date, but for tonight, you’ll just share some leftovers in the kitchen and sit close together. Every now and then you both place a kiss on the other’s cheek, it makes you giggle when Law does it, his goatee scratching your face a little, but you like it.

You like him, he already means so much to you, and you can already tell he feels the same way with you.

“No, no, definitely not. I think of him more like a big brother, really.”

“I’m sure he’ll be heartbroken to hear that.”

“Oh yeah,” you roll your eyes a little but still smile, “One of the two people who knew about my feelings for you is going to be so heartbroken that I think of him as a brother.”

“He’ll be devastated, I’m sure.”

You both laugh a bit, knowing that Penguin would absolutely play along if you brought it up, his acting skills on display if needed. He will be happy for the two of you when he hears, but it's fun to think of different reactions from his crewmates, you’ve been thinking about Luffy’s reaction since you realized your feelings for Law. You know he’ll be ecstatic, though he’s probably going to ask you to stay with the Straw Hats, at least for now. You don’t mind it, you’re sure Law will be fine with it.

The current plan is to drop you in Sabaody in a few months anyway, you’ll be separated for a while. At least you have transponder snails, you’ll be able to keep in contact that way easily. Less likely for letters to be intercepted and read in advance by Nami once she finds out.

“How long do you want to wait to tell your crew?”

Law shrugs, he hasn’t thought that far ahead about all this yet. He knows it’s going to happen, they’re going to find out somehow, maybe even by accident knowing them.

“A while, I’m not sure. I…I haven’t done this before…”

“…I haven’t either. Luffy and Ace would chase off any boys I liked, or any that they thought liked me…so I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“I see,” Nodding, Law leans over and kisses your cheek again, making you giggle while he smiles, “We’ll figure this all out together then.”

“Yeah…together.”

Even when the rest of the Heart Pirates come back later that night, you and Law spend your time together, making sure at least that those who haven’t noticed your feelings for each other don’t find things out right away. You’re not ready for that, but you’ve both agreed to let Ikkaku and Penguin know, just for sanity’s sake and not having to sneak around everyone.

The rest of your evening is spent in his office after you’ve finished dinner, talking and making plans for the next day together, plans for after you go back to the Straw Hats if this sticks. You hope it does, Law does too, neither of you wants this to fall apart even if it’s just starting. Law takes you back to your room again, as he always does now, it’s become your favorite part of your evenings. If any of his crewmates come around the corner the two of you separate just enough that it doesn’t look weird, still talking until the other person is out of sight and you move back beside each other.

You’re sure that if he keeps walking you and kisses you before he leaves these times are going to be your favorite from now on. Practically none of the other guys come down towards your and Ikkaku’s room, giving you and Law enough time to enjoy each other before he says he needs to go, he’s got things to do before your (real) date the next day.

“Lunch tomorrow right?”

“Right.”

You nod with a grin, before leaning up to kiss Law again, which he gladly accepts and returns.

“See you in the morning then, Law.”

“You too,” Law gives you a smile and kiss on the forehead before he turns to leave, “I promise I’ll come get you this time.”

You fight not to laugh but nod, still smiling as you go into your room, all giddy and happy. Ikkaku is asleep so you won’t bother her, but once you get into bed, you’re trying not to squeal even though you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you fall asleep. Law does the same, even though he has no one else around him at the time. Its another night he sleeps easily, only because of you he believes. He has hopes this will be good, that you won’t leave him, and he won’t leave you even when he drops you off in Sabaody. He wants this to last, you both do, and it feels like it will.

Neither of you plans to give up on this easily.

+!+

Your first date off the Polar Tang is a success to both you and Law, he feels relieved after it’s over though, but he’s not opposed to another one of course. The rest of his crew goes about their business on the ship, leaving you and Law to slip off without anyone else noticing, Ikkaku and Penguin promise to keep everyone busy so you won’t be found out and you can enjoy yourselves.

You start off at a small café for lunch, laughing when the waitress suggests a sandwich to Law who nearly recoils at the thought of bread but just orders a salad instead.

“Stop laughing, you dork.”

“Your aversion to bread is so funny though, I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like it!”

“Yeah well,” Law looks away as he takes a drink, cheeks just the slightest bit pink out of embarrassment, “I’ve never liked the stuff, ever since I was a kid. I’m sure there’s something you don’t like.”

You stop to think, as your food is brought to you, the waitress had been able to convince you to get the sandwich they were offering, as you look at Law’s lunch once it’s set down.

“Radishes.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t like radishes,” Nodding, you shrug a little, “Never have, I don’t like how strong they can taste.”

“Guess I’ll take your radishes and you take my bread.”

You grin and agree, the rest of your lunch spent in comfortable conversation, nothing feels awkward or weird, not after the night before. Law hopes you don’t ever find him passed out in his office again, though knowing the anxiety he can have, it may happen again. He's grateful you’re so understanding and willing to help him navigate this new territory.

But it’s also new for you, so you’re glad to learn alongside him.

Once you’re done with lunch, neither of you are ready to go back to the Polar Tang, so you take off to look at different shops through the town. Of course you find a bookstore, both of you excited to go in, though Law less obvious about it, you drag him inside and start to look at everything available. While you end up looking at the different books on poisons, Law ends up picking out a medical book almost immediately, before being drawn to the novels and comics, where you end up finding him several minutes later, lost in thought.

You just watch him, he looks like he’s thinking through which volumes of Sora Warrior of the Sea he has, to see if he needs any that are on the shelf in front of him. It makes you smile, he's so feared by so many so people simply because he’s pirate captain, but this side of him makes Law so cute to you, he keeps it to himself most of the time, but when you see it, you can’t help it.

He really is a good guy.

Law picks a book up off the shelf to read the back as you come over, pressing yourself again his side to try and rea it yourself.

“Find one you need?”

“Maybe…I don’t think I’ve read this one before.”

You hum and look at the cover yourself, reading the synopsis before Law puts his arm around your shoulders and brings you closer to him. It doesn’t surprise you that much, but it makes you smile. Despite how he looks to some people, you know Law is much nicer than anyone could ever expect, especially when he starts to explain the plot of this volume while you just listen and in turn wrap your free arm around his waist as Law decides he'll get this book too, asking if you found what you need before he goes to purchase his items.

“Yeah, I think I found everything I was looking for.”

~~

The two of you walk back to the Polar Tang while chatting lightly, Law trying to explain the full plot of Sora to you, which makes you laugh as you ask questions and he looks almost annoyed like it’s something he just explained but you weren’t listening.

It's not your fault he looks so happy as he goes off about his favorite series, the bright look in his eyes and slight smirk he has, he’s just so handsome when he’s happy.

“…maybe you should just read it.”

“If you let me borrow your copy I will!”

Law nods, thinking that’s definitely a better idea than him having to try and explain it. He’ll have to get you the first volume later so you can start it, see something he’s liked ever since he was a child. Maybe you’ll enjoy it too and he can have someone to talk about it with again.

As you approach the Polar Tang, you take Law’s hand in yours, he pulls you a little closer to kiss your head in return. You aren’t ready to go back yet, to have to pretend nothing is going on, but you’re willing to deal with it for now, just for Law. He might be older than you, but you understand he isn’t in the mood to be teased by his crewmates about his first relationship, so you can accept this situation. At the very least, Ikkaku and Penguin know, you think Bepo has his suspicions after you ran to get him when Law had passed out, but none of his other crewmates seem to suspect a thing yet.

“I wish we had more time today…”

“We don’t have to go back in immediately,” Law shrugs while you look up at him confused, making him smile softly, “We could, you know, stay on deck for a while…if you want, I guess.”

That suggestion causes you to smile back, nodding and dragging Law back to the ship, settling both of you in a good spot so you can talk and watch the sunset, maybe stay long enough to see the stars. He knows being in a submarine is completely different from what you were use to with the Sunny, so Law doesn’t mind staying outside for a while longer with you, he’s more than happy to do so, especially when you lean against his shoulder and continue to hold his hand.

“I think today was a good second-first date.”

“Oh is that what we’re going to call it then?”

Nodding, you hum before kissing his cheek, leading Law to press another to your temple.

“We’ll definitely have another date sometime.”

“Good to hear.”

You’re excited to see where things go with Law now that you’ve had this real first date, and when you tell Ikkaku everything later that night, she starts betting you and Law will be married in no time at all, which makes your face heat up at the thought. She’s joking of course, even as she says you’ll have four kids, but even you start thinking about what that could be like one day, though you never tell anyone else about it. It’s far too early to be thinking about such a thing, but Ikkaku’s insistence that she’s correct makes you laugh in the end.

You end up sleeping better than night that you have in a while, and Law does the same, after relaying the date to Penguin who is happy for his captain and proud he took that step with you. All of the Heart Pirates want Law to he happy, and if that means he’s with you, Penguin knows the rest of them will approve when you two decide to tell everyone about your relationship.

This family Law found will be happy for him, just as you know Luffy and the other Straw Hats will be for you.

+!+

“Have you heard of the Will of D?”

“Hmm?”

You’re laying across Law’s lap in his bed one evening while reading a book, him doing the same, before he asks such a seemingly random question. He’d been running his fingers through your hair (carefully, nervously, you’re both still getting used to this) and you thought he’d been so focused on his book, but it seems he has something on his mind instead.

You wrack your brain a bit, knowing it sounds familiar but at first, you’re not sure why until it hits you. Nodding, you close your own book and sit up beside him.

“Robin mentioned it once…she asked if Luffy and I knew anything about it.”

“Do you?”

When you shake your head, Law sighs a bit but nods, pulling you against his side gently to have you lay your head on his shoulder.

“Sorry I’m no help there.”

“No, don’t be,” Law waves off your apology, kissing the top of your head as you hum, “I was just wondering.”

You both return to your books for a while, you trying to focus but keep thinking about what Law asked. You know that you have no information for him about the Will of D, you only know it's something Robin has brought up; you, Luffy, Garp and Dragon have the D in your names, you’ve seen others have it as well, but that’s the extent of your knowledge. You’ve never really been interested in learning the meaning, even with Robin questioning you and Luffy, Garp never had an answer either if you asked him, not a real one. He just said it was like a middle name, nothing for you to worry yourself about. You were too young to argue with him, or maybe it was just that you respected him too much to do so, but it never set right with you. You wanted to know, why you saw that letter on wanted posters too.

Sometimes you wonder if it would give you more information about who you are.

“…what do you know about it, Law?”

He’s not sure if you want to know the very little he does, but since it’s brought up to you before, and you both share that letter, though he hasn’t told you yet, it might not be a bad thing. Sharing what he knows might give you something to look at yourself, maybe even the next time you see Garp he could give you real answers. You aren’t a child anymore, you deserve to know anything that could help you find yourself and where you belong in this world.

“Enemies of the gods.”

“…what?”

“That’s what Cora-san said once,” Law shrugs while you start to think, “I don’t think he knew anymore than that, really…”

“…I don’t really like that thought, being an enemy of the gods.”

“Don’t dwell on it, I’m not sure what he meant by it.”

You end up nodding, turning your attention back to your book but not really reading it anymore. You don’t understand why having a D in your name is so important in this world, what it would mean for you, Luffy, your grandpa, really anyone with it, it’s so strange. If Dragon were around, maybe he would know something. Maybe he does but you can’t get any kind of answer from him since he’s never around. Garp probably still wouldn’t answer you, he’d tell you it’s nothing for you to worry about still, even though you’re all grown up and now want to know since Law brought it up.

The world you live in is a strange place after all.

“I have it too.”

“Huh?”

“A D in my name, I have it too.”

Honestly you’re not completely surprised, but just a little shocked to hear that. You know there are several people with the D in their name, you just didn’t expect Law to be one of them.

“So—”

“Trafalgar D. Water Law. That’s my full name.”

You don’t say anything about it, not for a while. Honestly Law starts to wonder if you’re upset he never told you, when you’d given him your full name the first time you really met. He'd kept his name secret for so long, it only felt natural to do so back then too, it wasn’t that he didn’t trust you.

Well, when you met it was, even after he learned you were Luffy’s sister, he hadn’t planned for you to join his crew for two years, or to develop feelings and a relationship with you. You were a stranger that simply was related to another pirate captain and had a D in their name, why should he have revealed it back then? The two of you weren’t close at all, so he’s hoping you understand that since neither of you really knows much, not telling you his full name at the time was a safety measure. It wasn’t anything personal.

“I wonder if we’ll ever find out why we have this letter, and why it seems like no one knows anything.”

To say he’s relieved you’re not upset with him is an understatement, leading Law to sigh a bit before nodding in agreement. He wants to know too now, more than he has before, to understand why this Will of D is so important to the World Government especially, that there’s so little information on it.

He wants to find out for you too now.

~~

“Have I told you why I wanted to write a book?”

Shaking his head, Law glances up from his notebook to you, sitting across from him with your own book that you’ve kept every tiny note and detail about your crew’s adventures in hand, giving him a smile.

“Wanna know?”

“If you want me to.”

You roll your eyes as bit, finishing a line in your book before setting your pen down to rest your chin in your hand.

“My other brother, Sabo, wanted to write a book about our pirating adventures for kids. I wasn’t really into writing back then, I thought it was boring but I did like reading,” sighing you lean back against your chair as Law stops his own note taking to watch you, “After he…after he died, I decided I’d take up his dream. It’s not going to be only for kids though, I want everyone to read how Luffy becomes King of the Pirates.”

“Hmm, I see.”

“…do you think it’s silly? To take up Sabo’s dream like that?”

Law wonders if people have laughed at you for taking your brother’s dream on yourself. You’ve told him how you’d lost Sabo, thanks to a Celestial Dragon, and how it affected you, Luffy, and Ace as you continued to make your plans to leave and become Pirates. You’ve always kept him in your mind, especially when you’ve gone to make your notes and write whatever needed to be done next, Law's even read your writing more recently to help you proof it.

You have a talent for writing and detail, even he’s gotten tucked into your unpublished work and wants to know what’s next. It's like he’s anxiously waiting for the next Sora novel, except his girlfriend is the author and he wants to see what’s next for a rival instead. It’s how he learned more about the way you all helped free Alabasta, your adventure in Skypiea, Luffy’s declaration of war against the World Government at Enies Lobby, the zombies you fought on Thriller Bark, and when you arrived in Sabaody. He wants to see how that moment you two first locked eyes was for you, but he doesn’t expect that in this book. It’s not important to Luffy’s story, so you’ll probably leave it out, he thinks.

He does hope you’ll send him copies once you’ve gone back to the Straw Hats, he wants to keep reading the story and stay up to date with you.

“It’s not silly at all,” Law smiles when you look at him with relief in your eyes, your own smile making it’s way to your face, “Taking on someone’s dream like that takes a lot of strength and courage, I think. I’m sure your brother is happy.”

“I hope so…”

“Makes me wish I had known what Lami’s dream was…so I could make it happen for her.”

It makes you feel a little bad to hear that, but you know Law isn’t trying to garner sympathy, like when he’d told you his life story. He didn’t get the time he deserved to have with Lami as her big brother, she didn’t have the chance to grow up and live out her own dreams and desires.

If he knew what they would’ve been, you know Law would be fighting to make it happen, like you with taking on Sabo’s dream.

“I bet she would’ve wanted you to be happy, Law.”

“…I would’ve wanted the same for her.”

Twenty more hearts…

Just a little more before Law will feel better about sending you back to your brother and crew, knowing he could extend Warlord protections onto you at least.

Just a bit longer before his plans can really be enacted.

+!+

You make a realization one day a few months later.

It happens while you watch Law work as you try to do the same, but somehow he’s distracting you just by being there. Not in a bad way though, it’s not like how Luffy and Ace would distract you when you were younger. It’s more of you simply letting your eyes and mind wander towards him, even when you should be working yourself, you just can’t help it.

The last couple months have been more than you ever would’ve expected. It may be your first relationship, and Law’s too, but you’ve both enjoyed every bit of time you’ve spent together. There have been a few close calls with your relationship almost being exposed to the rest of the crew, but no one has said anything to you or Law about it. You’ve done well to keep it secret, only Ikkaku and Penguin know everything.

You’ve felt nothing but safe and happy with Law, before you ever started dating, but now you feel it more and he’s told you how he wants to keep you safe, no matter what happens. You feel the same, it doesn’t matter that Law is older or stronger than you, he deserves to feel safe and loved too.

It's right before your birthday, and the Heart Pirates planned party to celebrate Law becoming a warlord at the same time, that you decide you know exactly what it is you’ve been feeling lately. Watching Law, enjoying the quiet moments, learning a little more about each other every day, you’ve come to realize you love him.

Everything you’ve come to know about Law and his life, how he’s treated you and his crew, the way he’s made space for you in his room and office, allowing you to stay as long as you need, it's brought you even closer to him and caused you to notice how strong your feelings for him have become.

You love Law and you have every intention of telling him that tonight, even after you both slip away from the party his crew threw together. Penguin notices, pointing it out to Ikkaku, and they both work to make sure the rest of the crew doesn’t notice or suspect anything. They’ve done their best to keep your situation a secret, you two can have all the privacy and time you need before you’re ready to tell anyone else.

Once you’re back to his room, after Law has given you your gift (a new notebook for your writings and your own copy of the first few volumes of Sora), you can’t help but to kiss him almost nonstop, leading Law to pull you into his lap as he kisses you back before you decide something.

“Wait, stop.”

When you put your hand on the one he has just under your shirt, Law thinks he’s moved too fast for you, that you aren’t ready for anything more than kissing and dating, that’s fine if so, but he starts to get anxious that he’s screwed everything up. He didn’t mean to, he wanted to make your birthday special, but only if you’re comfortable. If you aren’t, he’ll apologize and make it right however you want. He doesn’t want to ruin what you have right now, taking that next step in your relationship can wait if you’re not ready for anything more.

“Sorry, was that too fast? I didn’t—”

“No, Law, relax,” you giggle a bit seeing how flustered he looks, before continuing, “I just…I need to tell you something first.”

Now he’s more concerned and thinking he’s definitely done something wrong. You seem nervous about whatever it is you have to say, looking like you’re thinking about it. The silence is making Law more anxious as seconds go by, it feels so much longer. He tightens his arms around your waist just a bit to try and coax the words out, which makes you sigh, arms still around his neck, a soft smile on your face.

“…I love you, Law.”

“You…you what?”

You’re not worried that he didn’t say it back, or that he looks almost horrified at your confession, you know enough about Law to understand why, so you don’t feel like this was a mistake. You needed him to know, as soon as possible, you just had to get those words out to him, even though he’s looking more scared than you’ve ever seen and his hold on you is tighter than it’s ever been, you think.

It doesn’t matter though. You keep smiling at him while you kiss his cheek to try and calm down what you know are racing thoughts.

“I said I love you, Law…I just wanted you to know.”

He wants you to take it back, but he can’t seem to speak. With everything that’s happened in his life, you’ve said the three words he's been scared to hear come out of your mouth since you started your relationship.  What he’s dreaded happening ever since he agreed to be your boyfriend.

Not because he didn’t want this relationship, it’s not that he doesn’t want you, it’s that he’s now utterly terrified of what may come next.

The words you’ve said, your first ever love confession to Law has him near a panic once he realizes what you’ve done. You’ve said you love him, it’s only been a few months, how are you so sure?? Why did you have to say that, why did those words come out of your mouth, don’t you remember what’s happened to those who have said they love him?!

“Law.”

No, no, you’re not serious, that’s it. Maybe you’re tipsy or flat drunk, it’s your birthday and you’ve been drinking, that must be it. You don’t know what you’ve said and won’t remember in the morning, he's sure of it. It’s better you don’t remember, he’ll make himself forget this ever happened. You’re not in love with him already, you didn’t say those three words that haunt him with Corazon’s smile, or his mother’s perfume, his sister’s hugs, and his father’s laughter.

“Law, hey.”

It’s not real, none of this is real right now. He’s going to wake up and this won’t have happened at all. You can’t die, you can’t follow the footsteps of those who have loved him in the past. He can’t lose you too, he just can’t, not again. It won’t happen again, he won’t allow another precious person to be taken from him, not for the third time, please don’t die. Please don’t leave him like the others have.

“…you can’t die too…”

It breaks your heart to hear him say that, with shallow breaths that tell you he’s not okay and you need to do something, leading to you gently shushing him as his breathing picks up. You start to feel awful and know you’ve got to calm Law down before he goes into a full blown panic attack.

“Oh, Law, calm down. Breathe, honey,” Law doesn’t even notice he’s nearly hyperventilating until you place your hands on his face, bringing your forehead against his to try and calm him, “I’m not going anywhere, shh. It’s okay. I won’t die, Law.”

Oh, he must’ve been saying everything out loud, not in his head. He didn’t notice that either, it all must’ve come out so rushed he couldn’t stop from running his mouth with his fears and worries. He only realizes the tears in his eyes when you wipe them away, placing a kiss on his forehead before bringing his head to your chest, letting him wrap his arms around you as tightly as he can while he listens to your heartbeat. As he slowly starts to calm down, you run your fingers through his hair while he continues to hold you as close as he possibly can, it’s probably going to be a while before he lets you go.

“Law—”

“I,” his voice is strained from fighting not to cry but your shirt’s already damp from his tears even as he tries to choke them down, “I can’t lose you too…not you, please.”

You shush him again, kissing the top of his head this time before laying your forehead against his hair.

He feels a bit pathetic at the moment, if he were to be honest. Nearly twenty-six and clinging to his twenty-two year old girlfriend like a child does to their mother. If he were anyone else, Law would’ve pushed you away and tried to look more manly in front of you, but he knows you don’t want that and he doesn’t care to hide his feelings right now. You just wanted him to know, that’s what you said when you told him those words, it's why you say them again and brush your fingers through his hair once more.

“I won’t leave you, don’t worry. Even when I go back to Luffy and them, my heart is yours, Law.”

It’s an impossible thing to promise, that you won’t die and you’ll be safe after you return to the Straw Hats, but it’s enough for Law at the moment to calm him. He nods but continues to hold you close, face buried in your shirt while you stroke his hair and whisper your love and sweet nothings to him. He wonders if he should say it back, even though he’s not sure where his feelings are at this moment, but he still opens his mouth to speak.

“Stay with me tonight. Please.”

“Of course, Law. Whatever you need.”

“…I just need you.”

He’s not there yet, not where he can say the same words to you, but you don’t seem to mind. When you repeat them to him, over and over again, Law starts to believe that this time is different. Maybe this time, he won’t lose someone who loves him. Maybe he’ll be allowed to love you back, to have some happiness in his life for the first time in over a decade.

Maybe this time he’ll be able to return those words when he’s ready.

~~

The rest of the Heart Pirates know something must have happened the night before, after you and Law returned to the ship without them, since none of them see him for quite a while that next morning. Those who still don’t know your relationship think you two must’ve had a fight about something, while Ikkaku and Penguin, your confidants on the ship, have the full story from you when you bring both into your room after breakfast. You tell them not to expect to see Law much today, and when you finish explaining, Ikkaku gives you a sympathetic look while Penguin sighs and scratches his head.

“Damn, I never thought Captain would react like that…”

“Can you blame him?” Ikkaku makes an annoyed face at Penguin before turning back to you, “The last person to tell him that…”

“Was Corazon, and he died soon after.” You nod, the story is still fresh from when Law told you everything, so you do understand. You understand why he nearly had a full mental break down last night after you said ‘I love you’ to him, he hadn’t expected it and in his past experience, those words do not lead to positive outcomes. “I feel so bad about it…”

“Oh, no, no, you shouldn’t,” setting a hand on your shoulder, Penguin tries to reassure you as Ikkaku hugs you, “I think it just means Captain cares about you a lot more than he even realized, if his first thought was that he was going to lose you.”

“Penguin is right, Law definitely has strong feelings for you. He was probably just worried. He seems to think all he ever does is lose people…”

“He’s not going to lose me,” you grip the pillow in your lap tight for a moment before releasing it, “I love Law, and I’m going to prove it to him that he doesn’t just lose people who love him. He's still got all of you, right?”

They both nod as you sigh, moving to get up from your bed when Ikkaku asks where you’re going.

“I’m going to bring Law something to eat, he’s been in his room all morning.”

“He may not want anything…normally he’s good to just—”

“No, I’m gonna make sure he knows I’m here for him,” once you’re up with shoes on, you give the two a smile, “Let everyone know Law and I are fine, I’ll take care of him today.”

Penguin goes and lets everyone know it’s a day off, he tells them Law isn’t feeling well and to go do what they want, practically everyone leaving to go back to the island for shopping or relaxation. You, of course, stay aboard, starting to make something for you and Law to share for lunch, anyone still hanging around leaves you alone, knowing you’re taking care of things. Whatever might be wrong, because none of them believe Law is sick, you’ll make it okay.

You’re nearly done making the food when you see an arm come around your shoulders, the other around your waist, Law presses a soft kiss to the back of your head before putting his forehead on your shoulder.

“How are you—”

“I’m sorry about last night,” he’s quiet as he speaks, you shake your head before setting down the spoon you were using and turning around to take his face in your hands, “I just. I didn’t expect that and it freaked me out because I thought of my…my family and Cora-san, I’m sorry. I know it doesn’t mean you’re going to die, but I—”

“Shh, it’s okay,” You kiss him before hugging him properly, letting Law continue to hide his face in your shoulder, “I know I surprised you, but I really just wanted you to know that I love you.”

Taking a breath, Law still doesn’t like hearing that from you yet, but he nods, tightening his hold on you. The two of you stay like that for a while, you once again speak sweetly to him, making Law feel better but he still feels like he’d look like a child to anyone else if they saw this. Some people wouldn’t see an adult relationship but maybe think he's leaning too much on you, but you haven’t had any problems with that yet. It doesn’t fully make sense to him, why you haven’t pushed him away and said this is all too much, with the emotional baggage he has, he doesn’t understand it at all.

“I’m scared I’ll lose you too sometimes, you know,” Law pulls away enough to look at you, confused by what you mean at first, “You’re a Warlord now…I know it keeps the Navy off you, but other pirates will still come after you. I don’t want to lose another loved one.”

“You’re not gonna lose me.”

“Then you have to believe you won’t lose me either.”

He gets that and understands you didn’t tell him you love him because you were trying to scare him or anything like that. You really do just love him, Law knows he’s going to have it accept that even if someone tells him those words, it doesn’t mean they’re doomed immediately. It doesn’t mean he’ll lose them, precedence be damned, he’ll be the one to make sure nothing happens to you. He was too young, too small to protect Corazon or his family, but now that he's grown and stronger, he can at least protect you while you’re under his care.

“I’ll try.”

“That’s enough for me,” you give Law a smile that he slightly returns, before leaning up to kiss him briefly, “I love you.”

Although he’s not ready to say it back to you, Law nods before kissing your forehead and hugging you again, quietly thanking you. Its enough, you know it’ll take him some time to get to the same point, but that’s okay.

You’ll just keep loving Law, helping him where you can, to show him that he doesn’t only lose people he loves. He’s not going to lose you and you’re not going to lose him.

“You should probably eat something.”

“Yeah, probably,” Law watches you as you turn back to finish the lunch you were making, “Also…before I freaked out last night, we…are you okay...going further?”

For a moment you’re confused, before you see the light blush on his face and realize what Law means, your own face heating up when you quietly say ‘oh’ as you remember. Things got interrupted after you said you love him, and the two of you had settled to laying in his bed, his arms around you and face in your shirt while you just held Law close and calmed him.

After another minute or so, you just nod.

“Yeah I…I’m okay with that,” you can tell he’s relieved when Law sighs and nods, making you smile, “But another night. Right now we should eat!”

Law doesn’t really get how you’re able to change subjects so quickly but he is hungry so he’s not going to complain about it. Not when you’ve made one of his favorite meals and taken the time to make sure it’s perfect for both of you. You both enjoy your lunch together, and whenever another one of his crewmates comes by or returns to the ship from their time on the island, they all seem just as relieved to see Law is out of his office and doing well, he’s back to acting as a captain should later that day.

Everything is fine, and they all know you’re to thank for that. Every one of them, that doesn’t know yet, hopes that you and Law will come together one day, and they’ll all support you and their captain through everything.

+!+

When Law wakes with you in his bed after your first time together, he’s still not sure he believes it. He watches you sleep peacefully for several minutes, knowing you’re safe with him, that you chose to spend the night with him for the first time because you love and trust him.  Honestly he couldn’t even believe the night before was the first for both of you. He’d figured that, even though you’ve never had a boyfriend, you’ve probably hooked up with someone before. It’s common for pirates to do, or he thought maybe Sanji or Zoro had managed a situationship with you. But when you tell him neither had ever even made a move on you, he’s surprised.

“Probably because I’m the captain’s sister haha. I’m considered off limits to those boys.”

He’s not sure if your crewmates would like knowing you’re with him, he hasn’t been since your relationship started, but he’s started not caring. You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions. You did last night, after Law made sure multiple times you were comfortable with taking your relationship further. He hopes you don’t regret anything when you wake up, but with how much you said you loved him last night, he knows you won’t. He really does wish he was at the point where he could tell you the same, but you understand, he doesn’t know how but you do.

Law watches you sleep for a few minutes longer, stroking your cheek while you bury your head deeper into his pillow in your sleep.

“Mm…love you…Law…”

It’s strange how you can say that so easily, even in your sleep, and how it makes him feel so emotional at the same time. How do you do this, make him want to cry at 5:30am just from saying you love him? It’s enough for Law to leave his bed finally, going to his bathroom to wash his face and calm himself down before he wakes you. Splashing water on his face, Law stops to look at himself once he dries off, he doesn’t know how to handle this. How to handle the love you give him so freely and easily. The last person to do that was Corazon, that’d been so long now.

“Cora-san…I don’t know how to handle this…”

Law never really expected to fall so hard for someone, it wasn’t something he ever worried about. Falling in love, getting married, having children, it’s not something Pirates normally do, he’s only ever viewed it as a civilian lifestyle. To be settled in one place where they could raise their family, it sounded good when he was a child but now, it’s such a dangerous thing to think about.

If the right person figures it out, he’s afraid he’ll lose you like he’s lost everyone else that’s told him they love him.

So many new ‘what-ifs’ are taking over his thoughts, there’s so much to think about now.

What if someone finds out and uses your relationship against him, or against Luffy? What if you get pregnant? Of course you were safe last night, but even Law knows protection is only so effective. Law would protect you of course, but it's another fear that someone could find out and use it against him. He doesn’t think he could handle losing a family again if that were to happen.

What if you decide he’s too much with the baggage he has? Would you leave him and want to forget your relationship even happened?

No, after last night, Law is sure you won’t do that, at the very least. You’re in this for the long haul, and so is he, neither of you are getting out of this relationship easily. You’re both too attached at this point.

He’s there for a few moments longer, thinking and trying to work things out in his head, before he’s surprised by your arms coming around his middle and your head laying on his back. You place a soft kiss to his tattooed back with a ‘good morning’, which Law returns.

“Did you sleep well?”

“I did. You?”

You nod, smiling up at him when he looks over his shoulder at you and places one of his hands on yours.

“I borrowed your shirt, hope that’s okay.”

“More than okay. It looks better on you.”

It makes you giggle while Law smiles, you tell him you’re going to steal it then and he doesn’t fight you on it.

“Do you wanna take a shower with me?”

“I’d love that, Law.”

Your shower is quick, only due to you needing to head off to your room so no one is suspicious of you being gone all night, especially Ikkaku so she doesn’t start asking questions. You’d rather stay with Law for the next couple hours before everyone else is awake, since you personally believe that most of his crew has figured things out by now, but you do understand his being worried that it might leak to the World Government and someone could target you to get to him once he becomes a Warlord. You try to extend your time with Law by wrapping your arms around his shoulders and kissing his face over and over, enjoying the slight blush he gets from it that only you ever notice.

“All right, all right,” he doesn’t sound annoyed, more like he’s appreciative of your affection, “You need to go on back.”

You pout, shaking your head before burying your face in his chest while he sighs and pats your head. “Last night was nice…I don’t want to go yet…”

“It was nice. Next time, you can stay longer…”

“Next time, hm?” Your grin makes him roll his eyes before responding to you.

“Don’t read too much into it, dork,” Law pinches your cheek a bit, making you whine before he kisses you one more time for that morning, “Of course there’ll be a next time. You’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I sure am,” nodding, leaning up just a bit more, you rub your nose against his briefly, “And you’re my boyfriend, my love.”

You leave a moment later, after telling him again that you love him, and Law wishes he could’ve responded in kind to you. You don’t seem to be upset he doesn’t, you never have. You’d told him that a simple ‘thank you’ is enough of a response until he’s ready to say it back to you. You’re willing to wait until he’s ready.

Law hopes he works things out before you have to return to the Straw Hats in a few short months. He doesn’t want to leave you wondering once you’ve separated.

Cora-san…I think I found who I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life…

Despite the worries and he has about losing you, about someone finding out and trying to use it against him, Law is determined not to let anything happen to you, even after you return to Luffy and your crew.

He's not going to let another person who loves him be harmed again. He’ll prove he doesn’t just lose loved ones and he can protect them.

Even if still may take him some time to return your words, Law is going to protect you, even when you’re miles away from him again.

I won’t let anything happen to you.

+!+

You’re not surprised when the Heart Pirates throw a going away party the night before you’re set to return to your crew. They’ve docked in Sabaody, but your intentions are to leave the next morning, you arrived a day early thanks to Law’s planning, so you have just a bit more time with the people who have become another family to you. They’ve all celebrated your birthday twice now, and tonight they’re celebrating you as an honorary Heart Pirate, you’ll never be rid of them, they all laugh when Shachi says it with a grin. It makes you laugh too, though you feel sad at the thought of leaving them, you’re anxious and excited to go back to your crew.

You want to see Luffy again, despite the part of you that wants to stay with Law.

Speaking of, you notice after a few more minutes that he’s not been around or said anything, and don’t see him when you stop to try and find your boyfriend. When you ask Hakugan, he says Law had gone back to his office a bit ago, telling him not to worry about anything and to keep the party going for you. It makes you wonder if he’s gotten overwhelmed once again, to the point you sneak off like you do often it seems, to go check on him. You don’t plan to let him stay locked away in his office, not when you have so few hours left before you have to leave, so you knock on the door and say his name, not getting a response at first.

“Law? Can I come in?”

“Go back to everyone, I just need a few minutes.”

“Are you sure? We can—”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

You don’t leave, trying to find something to say, before you nod to yourself.

“Okay, I’ll see you when you come back then.”

It’s not the party itself that overwhelmed him, Law only got that way as he heard everyone saying such nice things about you, how much they’ll all miss you when you leave and they’ll be waiting to see you again. The strain in Bepo’s voice when he talked about how much he’ll miss you being around too, the grins Shachi and Penguin had when they talked about your stories you’d tell them, Clione and Uni bragging about your cooking, Ikkaku nearly in tears because she was going to be the only girl on board again. It was just too much for Law at the moment, especially when Penguin nudged him and told him he needed to say something too. It felt too final to do that, made Law anxious, and he had to leave. He didn’t want to seem like a downer or make anyone else sadder than they already were to have you leaving, so he chose to step away for a bit.

You’ve changed things in the last two years, Law really does believe that. Especially with him, you’ve made him realize he's not going at things alone with his crew just along for the ride.

You’ve fallen in love with him and given him something he’s needed for a long time, reassurance more than anything, that you aren’t going to leave him alone.

Even if he doesn’t come back to the party, you’ll be okay with it. You’ll join him that night once everyone else has started to wind down and it gets quiet again. You’ll have one more night together before you leave, that’s more than enough for Law right now.

~~

“You could stay.”

“No,” Sighing you set yourself up on one elbow, holding your face in your hand, while you brush your fingers through Law’s hair with the other, “I really can’t.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Luffy needs me,” you lay your head on Law’s chest, while he keeps an arm around your shoulders, “I’d love to stay but…I need to be with him.”

Law doesn’t say anything at first, placing his hand on your head and stroking your hair. He knew that would be your answer, even with an open invitation to join his crew and stay on the ship. Every one of the Heart Pirates loves you, they’re all happy Law has found you, and they wish you’d stay. Ikkaku wants to have a roommate still, even if you’ve been spending most of your nights in Law’s room, she’s going to miss having someone to gossip with. Penguin and Shachi want you to stay because they’ve never seen Law so relaxed before, and Bepo just loves you so much, you’ve helped him with so many things the last two years.

They’ve all come to see you as a member of the crew, if the going away party they threw for you is anything to go by.

“…I wish you would stay.”

You stay quiet but nod, moving enough to lay on top of him with your arms crossed under your chin. You’re sure you haven’t seen him look so sad since he'd told you his past, but he's definitely not near tears or anything. You don’t expect that anyway, it’s not Law and that’s okay. You love him as he is.

“Are you going to tell him about us?”

“Mm,” you nod a little, already having that planned, “Luffy needs to know, I don’t like to keep things from him.”

Law understands that, he’s perfectly fine with you telling Luffy. If you had said no, he was going to try and convince you to do so anyway. He deserves to know, maybe he’ll be understanding and let you join the Heart Pirates, who knows? You know Luffy the best, you may have the same idea, but Law also knows you probably won’t leave right away even if Luffy is okay with it.

“I love you, Law,” you lay your head back on his chest and Law simply hugs you close, kissing the top of your head, “Nothing’s going to change that.”

“I know…”

Once you fall asleep, Law watches you for a bit, wishing you would make the choice to stay with him and his crew. Everyone loves you, they feel like you belong there with them, he can’t count how many times they’ve all told him to just steal you away from the Straw Hats, but Law could never do that. He’d never force you to stay if you didn’t want to.

He's realized he loves you too much to do that. When you’re ready to stay, you will, he knows that.

“It’s so stupid…” Law is quiet, whispering mostly to himself to keep from waking you, “I wish I could just tell you. But the words just don’t come out when I try…”

He worries he’s woken you when you start to stir in your sleep, until you settle back down, he breathes easy again and holds you closer.

“…I do love you…I hope you know that.”