PillowTalk

You don't

sit next

to me

when they're around

You can't

hold my hand

avoiding my eyes

You think they're watching us

For once,

can you tell me

What this is all about

'Coz i'm tired

                                                      If one day I finally fixed you wearing your sweet smiles If one day you will watch your favorite dusk in miles I will be happy watching you even from a distance I will be glad that you chose to take those chance   I know that time will come--- when you're living on your own Or driving back to someone who's your favorite home Seems you forget how she erased your sweetness Keeps going back even I'm with you during your bleakness   But, it's okay if that's what makes your heart happy Who am I to stop your happiness instantaneously? If one day you don't wear your smiles all over again You can see me where we stitched your heart back then         

                                            Don’t hate yourself for loving so hard but hurting too much Don’t hate yourself for being fragile and easily attached Don’t feel bad for all the mistakes you’ve done in the past After all, it will serve as your lesson so you’ll steadfast                     Someday you will be happy ‘coz you finally see your worth Looking at your reflection through the mirror of hope Leaves of your tree will be growing that time Someone will pour the water of love for you to outshine   You deserve to be loved after the angst you’ve been through Getting up from the nightmares that have lived beside you Taking your steps out of the melancholy doorway Make beautiful scenery of life, choose your breakaway

We came into this world naked Showing up with empty-handed Birth of us was a blank slate Blind without any piece of hate Wrapped by innocence and peacefulness Brushed your hair by the wind of silence   Stepping outside lies your amazement Dazzled by the sunshine thirst of engagement Driving now by your own along with the society Drowning from the temptations of unjust solidarity Starting to drop stains in your clean slate Bad blood slowly sipping you straight.

Until one day, you don’t feel passionate anymore, you’re exhausted and haunted. You’re gloomy and unmotivated to handle things like this. You never thought that you’d be as weak as this, and strangely feel dumb ‘coz all you have thought is you can comprehend EVERYTHING…  Some people taught us to become a believer of ourselves but some people dragged us down to our insecurities, we encounter rejections, failures. 

You look at yourself in the mirror and suddenly realized that you’re losing ‘you’ 

We feel bad yes, but--- despite all these things, what we must do is to look back why we still choose to fight. You’re way too far from the starting line sweetie, just move forward with your head held high and don’t ever come back.

Along your journey, you’ll surely encounter rejections but take it for improvements, not as disappointments

So now you look back, why you’re still fighting your battle, maybe:

For Parents/Loved Ones

For your dreams

For yourself

I knocked down, not once, not twice or even thrice I knocked down many times                                                             Moments of my life when I want to give up Set aside all my goals in life Feeling hopeless and helpless I can feel the emptiness   One day in my room, I sat in the corner Then I realized I need to become a conqueror I tell myself that I’ll make my dawn Faith is the only thing I lean on        Yes, there’s a time of my life when I want to give up        But, life must go on so I keep chasing up

You used to share the storm together ‘twas a circus ride and got each other                        But,                                                                   Suddenly pains pour with thunder Your lives are now full of sobber                                                                                                                               You both look like withered leaves                                                       There’s now curse you want to heaves                                           Flowers of words are now shrinking Sweetness of actions are now dying   Don’t put the entire pain in your back ‘twas a mutual decision ‘coz it sucks Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together Some things in life must come to an end for the better

Claim it, one bright morning in your life you are packing things to take a vacation and finally living the dream.      

I feel bad for my fellow students who are not able to take exams, quizzes in online classes even they really want to. They don’t have this convenient place to study at home like yours. They don’t have foods to full their stomach while COMPLYING YOUR REQUIREMENTS, they are out of focus and cannot afford to read your 300 page-textbooks on just one sitting because they are starving. They don’t have high quality gadgets like you. They are not sitting on comfortable sofa like you, they are just eating, sleeping, sitting on the same floor. They are not privilege like you, they push themselves to get up from that floor to give justice on the priceless and endless sacrifice of their parents. Then all of a sudden, you just announced without a doubt if anyone who’s not able to comply the requirements---- automatically you will give a failing grades. You don’t know how much they struggle to chase their dreams for their families. If you give them a clear failing grades just because they are not privilege like you that’s definitely inhumane. You are crashing the dream of a student because of your heartless philosophy. 

As they are only lying on bed all day with no one to talk to about random things to somehow forget how they are enduring the pain of needles, pain of heartaches and pain of choosing life. These destitute times when you need someone to lean on is when they need to stay away from you for their own sake. Times when you most need them but you can’t have them.

You are full of uncertainties whether you are leaving the hospital sitting on the wheelchair and be with your loved ones again or leaving the hospital laying inside the body bag and all your loved ones could have is your own ashes inside the jar :(((