morrigone

I sit in pain and frustration as I try to reconcile with reality

Instead of believing pretty lies

I want to be loved, like a rare cut gem

I want to feel special

I don't want to objectify myself in my mind

Telling myself my breasts are too small

Therefore I can't be desirable

That I have too much cellulite when the lighting isn't right

That my nose is too wide and my lips are too thin

That I should starve myself to keep my waist at a minimum

While my butt should be bubbly and defy gravity

That he could quickly search another girl on the internet to please his fantasies

While I lie awake battling demons

Facing my reality while he escapes his

How can "I love you" mean a thing when there are so many secrets?

Could you please fill me in?

I'm hopeless and choking on all of my reasons

To stay here, as I am

But God has me believing that this could get better

I still have your sweater

That reminds me of all of the shit I hope I never have to go through again

But each relationship is like a record replaying

Days out and days in, stuck in the negative emotion

Feeling so alone in the battle with my double edged sword

I either lose myself or lose you, either way there's no reward

Maybe I should speak up and get these things off of my chest

Maybe I should hide away and give this a motherfucking rest

Maybe these difficulties are all just a test

That I didn't study for

And the answer key is locked away in the teacher's drawer

Pick myself up off the floor

Wipe the snot from my face

Give myself an embrace because in the end

𖤐.⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙☠︎.⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙♫ ♪˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚☥ ⤾ ・°·˚ ꕀ✮

𖤐.⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙☠︎.⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙♫ ♪˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚☥ ⤾ ・°·˚ ꕀ✮