alex's thoughts n stuff

Total creep seemed far more likely, considering the circumstances in which you’d noticed him watching you. The first time, he was seated at a restaurant with an admittedly very attractive man in sprawling robes. There was something taboo yet intriguing about the both of them, that you couldn’t quite place. The man in the robes was certainly the more handsome of the two. Yet the patchface was your personal preference.

However, the next time you saw him was watching from a dark alley, stupid grin on his face like he expected nobody to see him. Upon inspection, it didn’t seem like anyone did. Or they’d all decided ignoring him was safer. It was weirder and weirder places after that. Once, he’d been just sitting by your mailbox.

You didn’t say anything. After all, he was probably a total creep. It was not comforting in the slightest to think he knew where you lived. Maybe it was a hallucination. After all, you were pathetically and painfully lonely. It wasn’t that you didn’t have friends or family, or that you were isolated in your job. You were a sucker for romance, and without a romance of your own, you were left with a distinct feeling of something missing. Imaginary partners were ]the only way you went to sleep at night; you couldn’t pass out without holding a pillow anymore. An imaginary stalker wasn’t entirely unbelievable, especially considering your love for yandere content- guilty pleasure.

The next time, you saw him at a park by himself on the swing. At night. Which wasn’t that bad, right? He was just trying to have fun, probably. And he wasn’t even looking at you. So there was no big deal. It’s a small world. He’s not following you, you just notice him when you see him because of his strange appearance.

However, the time that he stood right in front of your front door was the final straw.

Oh shit, really can’t ignore him this time.

That was your thought the second you saw him standing there. You wished you had pepper spray or something, but you didn’t even have your phone on you to call the police. You’d forgotten it on your way out, which was why you were returning now. Which also meant you really had no choice but to try to get inside, walking around the streets without a phone is just asking to be kidnapped.

And unless the kidnapper was hot, you had no interest.

“Hello, can I help you?” You asked the patchface man, caution dripping from your every word.

“You can see me.” His grin tugged at the corners of his face in the most unnatural of ways, yet the corners of his eyes crinkled in excitement.

You wracked your brain for a possible meaning of that that wouldn’t mean you were in deep shit.

Nope, nada.

“Can most people not?” was the response you decided on. Your instincts were telling you that displaying fear was probably a bad idea, and it would hopefully probe more information.

“No… Do you see a lot of things that others don’t?” He tilts his head like a curious puppy, but any semblance of ‘cute’ is wiped off by his shit-eating grin.

“I… can’t say that I do.”

“So, it works then!”

“What works, exactly?”

“Well, I suppose there’s no harm in explaining it. After all, I’ll just kill you after this anyway.”

This would probably be a good time to run, right? But you weren’t very fast, and he wouldn’t be admitting his intent if running was an option for you, right?

As if reading your mind, his grin stretched even wider. “Oh, don’t worry. You’re dead no matter what. Just listen. This is very exciting to me, and my curse friends are sick of hearing about it, so I may as well talk off the ear of a human. No harm, really.”

What did he mean by ‘curse friends?’

“See, I’m something called a ‘cursed spirit.’ Basically, I’m a being formed of fear and disgust held by humans. There are all sorts of cursed spirits, but I’m made of the hatred humanity holds for itself. Most of the time, people can’t see curses: unless they’re about to die, or they were born with the ability to. You were not born with this ability, correct? Don’t overthink it: you would know if you were.”

You shook your head slowly.

“Every time I’ve been within your vicinity, I have come there with an overwhelming intent to kill you. And every time, my curse friends pull me back right before I decide to strike. As a result, you are technically about to die, so you can see me. I wanted to test if this would actually work, or if because I knew I would be stopped, you wouldn’t be able to see me after all.”

“W-will you be stopped this time?”

“No, darling. I’m going to kill you now.”

“Wait!”

You didn’t know what you were going to say, but some way to stall him, anything! You weren’t ready to die, you had to figure something out….

“Oh! Are you going to beg? It’s always entertaining when humans beg,” the curse grinned at you.

“Don’t you… wanna use me for any more experiments? I’ll participate willingly! Won’t that make it easier?”

“No real science can be done when the subject knows they’re being tested! You must not be very smart….” The curse teased. “Besides, I already intend on experimenting on you. I need more test subjects to scope out the limits of my cursed technique.”

“But… you said that your curse friends got sick of hearing you explain your experiment.”

“If you’re offering to be a listening ear, just to prolong your own inevitable death, you’re pathetic.”

“Maybe so. Are you interested?”

The second you saw another smile slowly overtake his face, you knew you’d won.

“I like you~,” he sang. “Tell you what. We’ll make a binding vow! It’s basically a magic deal I’m not allowed to break, to put it in human terms. I’m not sure how it works with non-sorcerers, but because I’m a curse, it should be fine. Another experiment! Maybe you will be useful. Go ahead and propose some terms…. I want to know just how much you think you can get away with.”

You’d like to say you had to think for a second. But you knew instantly what your terms would be, pathetic as they were. “You have to effectively be my partner. Hold me, kiss me, and be gentle and loving with me at all times.”

“Bold!” He threw his head back and laughed like a hyena. “What do I get from it?”

“In a month, I’ll do whatever it is that you want.”

“So… I make believe that I love you for a month, and then you let me do what I want to you? And for the duration of that month, I’m allowed to yak at you about whatever I want?”

He might be trying to hide it, but you had a strong suspicion that the curse was just as lonely as you were. “Yes, but one more thing. You’ve gotta tell me your name.”

“You know what? You’re crazy! It’s a deal!” He cackled. “It’s Mahito, at your service. Literally.”

You gave your name in return, head spinning. You could have been imagining it, but you could’ve sworn you felt some sort of energy from the binding vow. Or it could just be the fact that you were living out one of your strangest fantasies. As weird as the next month would be, you fully expected to have fun with it. Mahito was plenty attractive, odd looking as he was. He had nice eyelashes. And… you’d purposefully left it out of the binding vow that he had to kill you at the end of the month. Just that he could do what he wanted. So you had a whole month to try to convince him you were worth keeping alive.

And to think just a few minutes ago you were running back home to get your phone before doing some errands. This was quite the inciting incident, indeed.

“Alrighty then, pet! Let’s head inside!” He laughed, swinging open your front door.

Great, you’d left it unlocked too. You were doing just great today.

“I’m going to call you ‘pet,’” He informed. “It’s basically what you are.”

Somehow, the binding vow considered that to be ‘sweet and loving,’ as Mahito did not suffer any consequences. On second thought, your specific type of freak makes that not much of a stretch at all.

“What are we doing in my house?”

“We’re getting your things. I’m taking you back home- an innate domain of one of my friends. I won’t bother to explain what that is in too much detail, but you’ll be able to reside there away from human eyes. It’s very nice there- we have a beach! Humans like beaches, right?”

“I- suppose so,” you stammer. “Uh, Mahito? Generally moving in with each other happens a little later on….”

“I have to keep an eye on you! Who knows what kind of trouble you could get yourself into with jujutsu sorcerers.”

“Sorcerers?”

“The ones who exorcise curses. The ‘good guys.’ Of course, I have a different perspective, but from the eyes of your average human they’re the benevolent ones.”

“And… Why can I still see you? You’re not directly endangering my life right now.”

Mahito pauses. “I’m not sure. If I had to wager a guess, it’s our binding vow. Since you made one with me, you’re able to see me. And once you’re within the innate domain, it should allow you to see my curse friends as well. At least, that’s my theory. What fun!”

“I still don’t think I exactly want to live on the beach….”

Mahito turns and looks at you, seemingly processing. His face lights up as he gets an idea.

“Well then, I’ll live here!” He responds enthusiastically. “I don’t have any stuff anyway. So that’s easier!”

You…. really weren’t getting out of this, were you?

You showed Mahito around, a process that went fairly quickly and very awkwardly. You didn’t have too much to show, though he did oddly seem to like your decor. You figured he probably wasn’t too picky.

He did seem to like the thick windowsill on the second floor, one of the fanciest aspects of your house and the likely reason it cost much more than you could afford. He had hopped up onto it immediately, an alarming feat considering it was about six feet off the ground, but you supposed you’d have to get used to it. He found the TV quite exciting, “another weird way humans like to waste their time.” That meant a movie night was in order at some point.

By the time you made it to your bedroom, a problem occurred to you.

“Oh shit, I don’t know where you’re gonna sleep– wait, do you sleep?”

“I don’t need to, but I enjoy it,” was his honest response. He took a running jump onto your bed, laughing as the springs flung him into the air. “Especially considering this bed is nice and comfy. We should share it!”

Your face went red. Didn’t this seem soon? Obviously, you did want him to hold you, but this early? “Mahito, I don’t know about that yet…”

“This relationship lasts a month. Don’t you wanna maximize it while you can? And you’re the one who wanted me to hold you~,” He sang, teasing while making grabby hands at you.

“Wait, now?”

“What did I just say, pet?”

You stared at him, face contorted in hesitation. He was pretty. There was no denying that. And he was crazy, just your delusional kind of crazy, and he wanted to hold you. But this wasn’t an “M4A Yandere x willing!listener ASMR” anymore. This was real life. What if he hurt you? What if the whole binding vow thing was a prank, what if–

If he was going to kill you, he’d do it regardless of whether or not you came to him willingly. Wouldn’t you rather die being hugged than attacked?

You gingerly made your way over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.

“Aww don’t be shy, pretty baby,” Mahito said, and you hated how that melted your brain. He laughed, reaching over and poking your cheek. “You have so much flesh, it’s cute.”

That should’ve been disturbing. That really should’ve been disturbing. But he touched you, didn’t he? And he was just trying to get you to settle down in his arms. He didn’t mean any harm. Just as you relaxed, you felt his arms wrap around you, warmer and stronger than they looked, and pull you down onto his chest. You couldn’t help but let out a small noise, which pulled another laugh from him.

“You really are adorable! I’m not just saying that, too. Humans are so weird. Some of them are disgusting, some of them are murderers, but then there’s ones like you,” he said, voice slowly dropping to a whisper. “You didn’t hate that I’m a curse, if anything I think you might like that a little too much.”

Your face was bright red, wasn’t it?

“Your first instinct wasn’t to kill me. And you got over the desire to run pretty fast. And you’re messed up, but in your own adorable way. That–” he punctuated himself with a tap to your nose, “-Is why I like you!”

He gave you a little squeeze. “Thank you,” you whispered back to him, not trusting yourself to say anything more.

“See, you’re not even scared! How weird!”

That did seem to be the message, didn’t it? Your heart was pounding, your palms were sweaty, but it was far from being out of fear. This whole arrangement had been a desperate attempt to save your life first, but would it actually manage to cure your loneliness? Could you be happy with this man? He was pretty, for sure. That you had always recognized and doubt you’d ever not be able to see. And he was treating you well, aside from the whole attempted murder thing. Maybe. Maybe this could work out.

Experimentally, you extended a hand up to his head. His hair, as it turned out, was soft. Incredibly so. You stroked it lightly, nervously watching his reaction. He seemed surprised, at first, but that surprise slowly melted into enjoyment.

“Hey, that feels nice. Is this a human thing?”

Probably, right? You’d never been romantically involved. This was probably normal.

“Yeah, it is,” you replied softly.

He paused. “Keep doing it. Please.”

He was quieter now. It was likely, you realized, that he was just as inexperienced as you were. He seemed surprised that you would even give him a chance to be viewed in a positive light, let alone a romantic one.

You kept your hand moving, almost absentmindedly, while you speculated about his past, and how much you’d even be able to ask about. When you finally worked up the courage to ask if he’d had any past partners, you looked over to find his eyes shut and his breathing shallow. His arms were still wrapped around you, heavier now that he was asleep and not supporting them.

“Good night,” you whispered, resting your head down under his and closing your eyes as well. Maybe it was a bit fast, sure. But if you were both enjoying it, what was the harm?