Salvador DalĂ, Fleurs,1948
When I say I miss Tampa, I mostly mean I miss Dali.

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@phoenixenchanted
Salvador DalĂ, Fleurs,1948
When I say I miss Tampa, I mostly mean I miss Dali.

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we have collectively gone through too much to turn around and blame ourselves for the stresses we’ve faced
That is a Majestical BeastÂ
(Source)
hey y’all want to join me in absolutely SOBBING over Friar John Clyn?
Friar John Clyn was the record-keeper and guardian at St. Francis’ Abbey, Kilkenny in the 14th C. When the Black Death arrived in his little town, he chronicled it , penning a first-hand account that proved invaluable to future historians.
But this entry (which I’ve seen labelled his last, though that’s apparently erroneous) is what fucks me up, because… Well, just read it.
That pestilence deprived of human inhabitant villages and cities, and castles and towns, so that there was scarcely found a man to dwell therein; the pestilence was so contagious that whosoever touched the sick or the dead was immediately infected and died; and the penitent and the confessor were carried together to the grave; through fear and dread men scarcely dared to perform the offices of piety and pity in visiting the sick and burying the dead; many died of boils and abscesses, and pustules on their shins or under the armpits; others died frantic with the pain in their head, and others spitting up blood.
That year was beyond measure abundant and fruitful, however sickly and deadly. Up to Christmas twenty-five friars had died in the Franciscan Convent of Drogheda, and twenty-three in the Convent of the same Order in Dublin. The pestilence was rife in Kilkenny, in Lent, for from Christmas Day to the 6th day in March, eight Friars Preachers died of it. Scarcely one alone ever died in a house. Commonly husband, wife, children, and servants went the one way, the way of death.
And I, Brother John Clyn, of the Order of Friars Minors, and of the Convent of Kilkenny, wrote in this book those notable things, which happened in my time, which I saw with my own eyes, or which I leaned from persons worthy of credit. Â And lest things worthy of remembrance should perish with time, and fall away from the memory of those who are to come after us, I, seeing these many evils, and the whole world lying as it were in the wicked one, among the dead, waiting for death til it come, as I have truly heard and examined, so have I reduced these things to writing.
And lest the writing should perish with the writer, and the work fail together with the workman, I leave parchment for continuing the work, if haply any man survive, and any race of Adam escape this pestilence and continue the work which I have commenced.
Something about the mingling of horror and hope, the fear that this plague might spell the end of the race of man with the optimism of leaving a little parchment for the next chronicler… It hits differently in 2020, man.
by Wednesday,
I was spiraling. It was only the third day with an awful chief resident and I was already gritting my teeth against the urge to bite back with all the venom of my pent-up fury. I breathed through it, of course, because after enduring rounds, I could go back in the OR with my people. If I’m lucky, she wouldn’t be there. If I’m not.. Well, one must endure. Two weeks left. I can do anything for two weeks.Â
But yes, I was spiraling. I was questioning my resolve. I was starting to think that the issue was me, that this was absolutely not worth my effort. I thought I could not possibly endure eight more years of this type of ego-maniacal torture disguised as medical training.Â
I was exhausted and in pain. My back, my feet, my knees, my neck – god, I’m an old woman. Too old for the game, too jaded to drink the Kool-Aid or to dance to the moods of a resident several years younger than me.Â
Until Luke finally came home from his final night shift of the week.Â
We spend Thanksgiving with his family. Mid-conversation, he remarks that Novembers are always rough for me. The abrupt shortness of the days and lack of adequate sunlight seem to take their toll in the worst ways this time of year. I’m less patient, sadder, quieter. I don’t have the garden to unleash my frustration on, nor the bright skies to guide my driving hours.Â
I consider his observation just long enough to wonder if my anger-slash-despair is nothing more than Seasonal Affective Disorder tricking me into thinking that I am not good enough to pursue what I genuinely enjoy. I have Major Depressive Disorder under strict control. I have serotonin to spare (most days) now, but I forget that the change in seasons can bring me to the brink of self-sabotage if I’m not careful.Â
This is one of the many reasons I appreciate the honesty in my relationships. It took me a long while to bare my truths to Luke, but he is one of the few I trust to assess the years of data behind us. He reminds me of the patterns in my journey and, without any intentions of doing so, pulls me from the spiral of self-doubt.Â
So here’s to more years of this gratitude I feel towards my life and the people around me. Here’s to conquering the beast that is human interaction in medical training. Here’s to almost being done with this phase of my training. Here’s to only having a grand total of one (1) mean resident in all of my required clinical rotations. Here’s to flipping the finger to this monstrous depression. Here’s to moving – always moving - on.Â
One more lap around the sun. Middle finger still in the air.

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by Wednesday,
I was spiraling. It was only the third day with an awful chief resident and I was already gritting my teeth against the urge to bite back with all the venom of my pent-up fury. I breathed through it, of course, because after enduring rounds, I could go back in the OR with my people. If I’m lucky, she wouldn’t be there. If I’m not.. Well, one must endure. Two weeks left. I can do anything for two weeks.Â
But yes, I was spiraling. I was questioning my resolve. I was starting to think that the issue was me, that this was absolutely not worth my effort. I thought I could not possibly endure eight more years of this type of ego-maniacal torture disguised as medical training.Â
I was exhausted and in pain. My back, my feet, my knees, my neck -- god, I’m an old woman. Too old for the game, too jaded to drink the Kool-Aid or to dance to the moods of a resident several years younger than me.Â
Until Luke finally came home from his final night shift of the week.Â
We spend Thanksgiving with his family. Mid-conversation, he remarks that Novembers are always rough for me. The abrupt shortness of the days and lack of adequate sunlight seem to take their toll in the worst ways this time of year. I’m less patient, sadder, quieter. I don’t have the garden to unleash my frustration on, nor the bright skies to guide my driving hours.Â
I consider his observation just long enough to wonder if my anger-slash-despair is nothing more than Seasonal Affective Disorder tricking me into thinking that I am not good enough to pursue what I genuinely enjoy. I have Major Depressive Disorder under strict control. I have serotonin to spare (most days) now, but I forget that the change in seasons can bring me to the brink of self-sabotage if I’m not careful.Â
This is one of the many reasons I appreciate the honesty in my relationships. It took me a long while to bare my truths to Luke, but he is one of the few I trust to assess the years of data behind us. He reminds me of the patterns in my journey and, without any intentions of doing so, pulls me from the spiral of self-doubt.Â
So here’s to more years of this gratitude I feel towards my life and the people around me. Here’s to conquering the beast that is human interaction in medical training. Here’s to almost being done with this phase of my training. Here’s to only having a grand total of one (1) mean resident in all of my required clinical rotations. Here’s to flipping the finger to this monstrous depression. Here’s to moving -- always moving - on.Â
Angels & Demons
Sometimes you see a post and just realize there’s some Wild Shit going on in a community you never knew existed
Attached for original context
Finally, I understand
THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT. THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL POST.
HARRY POTTER
The boy who lived has come to die

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PANSY PARKINSON
AU. Post-Hogwarts
Just a reminder, but you do not need to “earn” being tired.
You’re allowed to be tired, even if you haven’t “done” anything and you’re allowed to be tired even if you did less than someone else.
Being tired is a normal thing your body does for a whole plethora of reasons, and is a basic bodily function. You don’t need to “earn” basic bodily functions, no matter what anyone else tells you.
hey hey hey this is really important, especially as a reminder to people with disorders that cause chronic exhaustion.
Severus Snape → Green
made for Harry Potter Bingo @harrypotterbingo
Slytherin / Capricorn Sun / ENFP / BisexualÂ
Aesthetic for anon.
  —
May the week go softly with you!

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