despite everything, you’re still a phannie

so you agree? you would have kissed if you weren't in the presence of an untrustworthy taxi driver?

In your 20s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

As a lesbian, i love consuming and creating mlm content the way i love watching men at the Olympics: the complete safety of knowing I won't be expected to participate, but the audacity to think i know better than the judges

The rebrand of Dan from "oh my god my best friend is such a dork and i'm a cynical bitch but we have fun together" to "i'm in love with this dumb bitch" is quite impressive, but Phil's rebrand from "i'm just a silly innocent guy with emo hair" to "i love talking about piss and gay sex to rile my boyfriend up and also i'm hot"??? Actually life changing

i love dan and phil because they're more than boyfriends but also they haven't labelled it and they're in a situationship. how dare the builders call them boyfriends have they not earned partner status. they share a bed but have separate bedrooms. if they go too far apart the universe would rip in half but the best quality time is when they're gaming in separate areas of the house. propose on hard launch and you will be hit with the phan curse of staying together forever in marriage. no they're not married. they are a ranch metaphor and two 4,000-year-old tortoises and put on this earth to be together. no they would not share a toothbrush that's disgusting. but yes, they are like actual soulmates.

Dan Howell is the ultimate never kill yourself because 20 years down the line you might be gay married to your soulmate with 4 theatrical tours and a wildly successful career under your belt and millions of queer people worldwide will look up to you as an icon.