Phil Johnson of Roadside Attraction

Found one of them new-fangled phones in my garage. #antique https://www.instagram.com/p/CPO-DFVAooQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

A rare earnest musical moment from me... Out today... My cover of #Prince 's "I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man". Listen to it on your favorite music streaming service. I LOVE Prince's original version. But I always wanted to hear him do a downtempo version that matched the sad lyrics. So I did my own. In fact this is "vault track" from my much smaller vault than Prince's. Recorded in 2006 but only a limited release because the licensing wasn't done right. Now it's all legit and got a bit of remastering too. Don't worry, I haven't gotten all serious. The next release will be both funny and subversive again. :) #newrelease #cover #signothetimes #paisleypark #singersongwriter https://www.instagram.com/p/CPJUH7IAfzF/?utm_medium=tumblr

They gotta be more specific about these things. When I wrote this I tried a few others that didn't stay in the show. But my favorite was "Turns out a Romanian Deadlift has nothing to do with digging up dead gymnasts." A clip from "Burning Sensation". See the whole show at PhilJohnsonComedy.com Or get the audio on your favorite music streaming app. #comedy #comedyvideos #comedyvideo #comedian #comedians #fitness #abs #crunch #funny #standupcomedy https://www.instagram.com/p/CPG9vcuAnRV/?utm_medium=tumblr

Children... Damaging from the get-go. If you like this clip from Burning Sensation you'll love the rest of the show. If you don't like it you should see the rest of the show for context. Stream/Download/Discs available at...

Half Asian babies are the cutest. But we're not having kids. Someone else will have to do it. See the rest of Burning Sensation at PhilJohnsonComedy.com - Streaming, Downloads, and Discs available. Or listen to it at https://fanlink.to/burningsensationmulti

Love the Earth. But I mean, don't "loooove" the Earth. A track from The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee - 33 songs in 18 minutes. Listen at https://fanlink.to/ittybittymulti

Black women only hit on me when they're drunk. Stream or Download the rest of Burning Sensation at PhilJohnsonComedy.com or hear the audio on your favorite music streamer.

The Tuesday Livestream starts in one hour at 12:30pm PDT! Songs and goofing around including a lot of stuff I don't play in my regular shows. Facebook has the better audio but you can also watch on Instagram Live. Come say hi!

A ridiculous #TacoBell joke for your Monday afternoon. You can see the rest of "Burning Sensation" at https://www.roadsideattraction.com/store/ or hear the audio at https://fanlink.to/burningsensationmulti #comedian #comedians #comedy #standup #standupcomedian #funny #taco...

Made my first Dutch Baby, German Pancake, whatever you'd like to call it. Not perfect, but pretty good for a first try. Made for 2. That thing is 11 inches across. #cooking #cookingathome https://www.instagram.com/p/COqzPWkg6bS/?igshid=lwou6rj2h9f9

Now that mask requirements are being loosened for vaccinated people, how does one go out without a mask and not be mistaken for an inconsiderate price? The answer is the "Got Vaxxed. Not An Asshole." Unisex t-shirt! Available now at in the store at PhilJohnsonComedy.com #vaccine #vaxxed💉 #vaccinationdone✔️ #maskup #ᴠᴀᴄᴄɪɴᴇssᴀᴠᴇʟɪᴠᴇs https://www.instagram.com/p/COOb_d7g02E/?igshid=7yiioa0bsnb8

I love this #pizza box from the artist who's really good at drawing faces from the front and not so hot at profiles. https://www.instagram.com/p/COGpXKJA9f9/?igshid=1274yv3qh2hz7

White women always ask to braid my hair. Here's why that's a "no". It happens so often after gigs that I wrote it into the show. Now they ask "jokingly". You can see the rest of Burning Sensation at PhilJohnsonComedy.com or gear the audio on your favorite streamer. #comedy #comedyvideos #comedyvideo #comedian #comedians #standupcomedy #standup #standupcomedian #barbie #barbiedoll #longhairmen #longhairstyles #longhair https://www.instagram.com/p/CN3GjaTgy77/?igshid=14vc6kh6xxt0j

I'm a little late getting started but super excited to see @thewildhearts ! https://www.instagram.com/p/CNx5rhZgRgM/?igshid=1gmkj180as3el

This may be the dumbest song I've ever written. And favorite? "Written" late one night after a gig in the car between the venue and Taco Bell. Yep, this is the stuff I sing to myself in the car. From the EP "The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee" now available on a music streaming platforms. 33 songs in 18 minutes. #comedy #comedyvideos #comedymusic #stupid #lumpy #funnymusic https://www.instagram.com/p/CNvc3AkghAy/?igshid=65sgp0ktcork

Not sure the health department would be on board with this. Also...SLAYER!!! See the rest of Burning Sensation at the link in bio or hear the audio version on your favorite audio platform. #comedy #comedyvideos #comedyvideo #comedian #comedians #atheist #slayer #slayerband #blood #funny #joke https://www.instagram.com/p/CNsu_BYgOOM/?igshid=1w2mj4phors03

I had no idea "Florida" was a flavor. https://www.instagram.com/p/CNqfKGrA7ap/?igshid=rkjcz3cl3ve5