It’s Me... Tara

Okay hello hi lol so I have been wanting to do this for a while ever since I read Taylor’s ELLE article about the lessons she learned before 30 and then tbh, I chickened out because I was scared that I hadn’t learned anything lol… but it turns out I have and I still am, so yay to development!! I turn 30 in January and I’m low key nervous but also excited but anywayyyysss here are some of the lessons that I have learned in my 30 years of life and oh boy has it been a wild ride. 

1. Allowing your anxiety to sit and be in the background instead of fighting it is one of the most powerful things you can ever do for yourself. I welcome mine in, give it a front-row seat and do my best to fucking prove it wrong.

2. Inner voices were once outer voices so try not to confuse them with your own… your mind doesn’t simply decide one day to start beating itself up. Those inner voices were once outer voices, so don’t let them control you. The actions of others created those inner voices. It has NOTHING to do with who you are and what you have done in your life.

3. “No” is a full sentence- I’ve learned that my feelings behind saying “no” to something are enough and I don’t need to explain my reasoning for it, the only thing you need to add after saying “no” is a full stop or an exclamation mark.

4. Always carry a sneaky tampon… you just never know… 

5. Too much coffee is probably really bad for you, but also no coffee at all is really bad, so like it’s a fine line that I’m yet to discover but at least I know it exists.

6. The delete and block buttons on are some of my best friends… do what you need to do to protect yourself!  

7. It’s so much easier to clean the shower when you’re actually having a shower.

8. There’s no such thing as eating too much tofu sushi.

9. The ocean can really just make the noise stop, even if it’s just for a moment, it allows you to breathe again. 

10. I didn’t appreciate the importance of money until I literally had none.

11. Dry shampoo will save your life multiple times.

12. There’s a Taylor Swift song for every single emotion.

13. We have our dreams for a reason and we feel that rush when we think about them coming true for a reason… don’t ever EVER stop chasing what will make you happy or what you want your life to be. You dream about it because it can happen… I promise.. that is why it’s in your heart because it’s part of your story. 

14. What happens at school and the people we associate ourselves with during those important years, the words people scream at us, and the way we handle those moments can really have a positive or negative impact on the rest of our lives.

15. Cats really do make everything better. 

16. Trying to escape from your emotions, sadly does more harm than good… feel what you need to feel and listen to your heart and process, process, process. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you how you need to be or what you need to be feeling. Only you know how you truly feel, so therefore, you call the shots.

17. There’s nothing wrong with walking away from people who hurt you and those who refuse to understand you for who you are. 

18. Loving yourself truly for who you are is the strongest and most important love you’ll ever find.

19. Going to therapy has truly changed my life for the better and I believe everyone should go during certain parts of our lives. It should never be seen as a weak thing, it actually shows so much strength. 

20. Rewarding yourself when you’ve reached a goal, or made it through a tough time is so important and self-care is something that should be practiced every single day. 

21. You’re exactly in the place in your life where you need to be right in this moment. Everything happens for a reason and the more you try to fight with the world around you, the more you’ll fall and create your own negative karma. Trust yourself and trust the path you’re on. Fight to be better and fight for what you deserve, but don’t fight with the timing of your story.

22. Spend time with your parents, you may feel like they don’t understand you a lot of the time, but one day it may be too late to have the dinner they want to cook for you. 

23. One play of Shake It Off a day keeps the doctor away.

24. Don’t text and drive.

25. Trauma, assault, abuse and harassment aren’t measured on the label that someone tries to give you about your own situation, It is how you felt at that time and each incident is different. Don’t let others put you in a category. If you felt unsafe or threatened or feared for your physical and mental wellbeing, your feelings are valid no matter what and you have the right to fight for yourself. There is no time limit to deal, come forward and process the incidents that happen to you in your life, after something like this, your body is in fight or flight response and sometimes the full impact doesn’t hit you until years later.  So, please, be kind to yourself and know that YOU will know when the right time is for you to take the steps you need if you feel like you want to. Your feelings are so valid, and YOU are the most important person in the situation. You don’t need to be anything or anyone but yourself, and everybody deals with situations in their lives differently and it is okay to not be okay.

26. Exhaustion and being burnt out are real things and should be taken more seriously. 

27. A breathtaking sunset can almost fix any bad day.

28. WFD (wine free days) are very important.

29. Writing lists of literally everything you want to do each day can actually have an overall positive impact on your day. I’ve started doing this recently and I add literally everything from having a shower to making my bed to eating lunch to getting my work done… literally EVERYTHING and then it’s actually so exciting when you get to cross something off because you have achieved it. Some days the smaller things will be hard and some days they will be easy, but even if you’re crossing only one thing off you have achieved something that day and that’s worth being proud of yourself!

you’re the only one of you

baby, that’s the fun of you